Holiday Plans

My BIL and SIL have offered to host X-mas at their house this year - a 3 hr drive one way trip. They want us to spend the night, and my DH wants to as well. I really am against it. It will be a LOT of work to pack up a 2 yr old and twin babies to sleep at someone else's house. There's all their stuff - bottles, baby food, little spoons, wipes, diapers, burp clothes, something to feed them in (bouncy seat or portable high chairs), pack-n-play, etc. And you know they won't sleep there. I'll be up in the night, in someone else's house that I'm not familiar with, and having to comfort babies so other people there won't get woken up. It's 10x more work - you and your babies are just out of your element...even changing diapers is difficult as you don't have your layout. So what are your thoughts? Do your families expect you to travel? I told DH what my feelings were but he's dead-set in going and said I'm being selfish for not wanting to go. It's always about me - but he has admitted in the past that I do all the work for the boys.

 

No one expects me to do anything thankfully. I have totally set their expectations from the get-go with the birth of the boys. They are so much work at that age to pack for a night and then add a toddler on top of that-been there. So you have to figure out what you feel comfortable with. Do you want a change of scenery?? Would there be extra arms there to help? Or is it just too much right now? Good luck with your decision.

 

My family lives more than 600 miles away. So when we visit - we have been twice in 8 months, and will be heading back for Thanksgiving - it's for a while. My car is cram packed and I always forget something...

It's 50/50 on sleep. Sometimes they don't go down quite as easily - sometimes they pass out becuase they are so exhausted from evertything going on. The hardest part for me is that my family is a rock them to sleep bunch and I am not. I can't be. There is only one of me and two of them. The boys are self-soothers and it was the best decision we ever made. They are great sleepers, but occassionally fuss at my mom's - particularly whomever is in the PNP. And the second they make a peep everyone thinks I should go get them and looks ready to call CPS because I must be the worst mom the world to let them fuss for 2 minutes while they try to figure out if someone is going to fall for it and come get them to let them stay up past their bedtime.

What's one night? I know it can and probably will be a pain, but you guys will all survive. How much does DH help out? I would say, honey, this is your bright idea so I expect you pitch in full force. It's not me taking care of the babies while you have fun with your family. If we go, you have to be there for every minute of it - including the night shift. And make him stick to it. I am sure the family will be really excited to have you guys there and you may even be suprised that it isn't as bad as you think.

Then again, if I had a way to get out of staying with my inlaws I would be all for it, too.

 

we don't have to travel that far but if we did, i would NOT do it. that would be too much work. i'm more comfortable in my own home. my dh grandparents have a motor home and were camping when the babies were 5 months old. i made the mistake of agreeing to spend two nights with them. not enough space and not enough patience on my part! i was the one getting up in the night feeding and changing them. not to mention, keeping them quiet as to not wake the grandparents up.

tanya

 

We've had to travel because DH's family lives half way across the country. That said, when we go there his family gets pnp's, car seats, toys and strollers so all we have to do is get ourselves on the plane. The girls don't sleep as well away and it is a lot of work for me and DH, but we had to do it during their first year because DH's mom was not in good health (she died last December, so I'm very glad we were there last thanksgiving).

What if you host Christmas? Would your BIL and SIL come stay at your house? If not that then can they borrow everything you need while you are there (big stuff like pnps and bouncies or swings)?

 

No one expects us to travel, but we are going away for a week - and changing time zones. I am sure it will be a bit of a hassle with 2 older children and twins, but we feel the holidays are a time to be with our family - especially in these rough times. Our family is really helpful, so it is actually easier to have more hands around to help out than to be home just us trying to entertain four kids of drastically different ages (15, 9, and the boys).

That said, it is really an individual choice. I don't think it is fair to "expect" you to travel. You should go because you want to - not because you feel you have to . And not go if you don't want to. Its hard enough without feeling extra pressure!

 

We're going back home to New Zealand for Christmas for just over 3 weeks (looks like yours are the same age as mine). This involves a 12 hour flight, a layover in Auckland, and another 1 hour flight to my hometown. We did it in September, and I have to say, it wasn't that bad. Yes, packing can be a nightmare, but we packed three weeks worth of stuff. If you're only going for a night you don't need a pile of stuff. Have a checklist before hand, put as much away as you can, and mark it off as you go.
We're not "expected" to travel, but we feel like its something that is do-able, and to be honest, after our trip in September, we realised that we need to get out more as a family and start planning weekends away as well as larger holidays. For us, we didn't find that sleeping in another place was that much of a big deal. Ours conk out anywhere.
I would say that if its something you feel you can do, go for it. If not, wait until they are a little older. You know your babies better than anyone else.

 

We're not traveling at all...too much hassle. People are coming to us if they want to...other than that, we're staying at home. We're so glad though b/c we have traveled for years! We also want to start our own traditions with our kids and the only place to do that is at home! Don't feel guilty...do what is best for your family.

 

We're traveling to see DH's family (about a 2 hour plane ride) for Thanksgiving. We are staying home for Christmas and Dh's family will come the day or two after for about a week. We live 2 minutes from my family, so although it's difficult to travel with three little ones, it's so worth it to spend time with Dh's family. They are very helpfull, too. The last time we went, we drove, so I'm a little nervous about the flight (and being outnumbered by our children at the security checkpoint)....we'll see!

As pp said, every situation is different. We always traveled a bunch when we had one baby, but with two more it's going to be more difficult. I think it's definitely worth it, though, if you can manage and if you WANT to go!