Holiday gatherings and schedules

I know this is a little on the early side, but after reading AandKtwins post about sticking to schedules, how is everyone going to handle holiday gatherings.

My DH's family has Thanksgiving dinner and the *big* Christmas get together at 7pm. The girls are in the bed at 7. Granted they live next door, but keeping two babies up to eat turkey and open presents is not my idea of fun. I really don't know what to do, if it was extended family I would tell DH that he can go and me and the girls will stay home, but it is his mom, brother's family and sister's family. Not going is not going to be an option, especially christmas, because DH and I will catch **ll, if they don't get to see the girls open up all the christmas presents. Christmas is a big deal in his family.

Any ideas on how to handle it?

 

I have made the "suggestion" and I use that word lightly, to both sides of our family, that if they would like to see the girls open thier gifts, etc and participate in the celebrations..it would have to be earlier in the evening. We are travleing 13 hours to be "home" for christmas, and i simply informed all involved that the girls would need to stick to their schedules as much as possible, or they would be complete "bears". All involved seem to take this in stride, and we have changed things to involve all of the kids, many many cousins, to take place earlier in the afternoon.

i think that most families are just content to be with each other...that's our only wish to spend time with the people we haven't seen in a while.

 

Is there any quiet spot in DH's family's house where you could put the girls to bed at 7 (in a PNP or whatever), and then still join in the festivities yourself? If they would sleep in a strange place, that is.

 

im going home for thanksgiving... where ever home is for me??

ok so im going to my brothers.. mom lives with me but owns a home with in walking distance from my brother

my aunts great aunts cousins and other family members will be there..

the house mom owns will be our rest area..

i will be removed from the festivities but not removed by 7 hours.. babies need to sleep.
the family will have to deal.

 

Normally, I do not deviate from the schedule at all! But, in the case of holidays, like Christmas, or Thanksgiving, I do. I just try to get some extra naptime in during the day if they will be up late. For example, my babies normally take 1 nap in the middle of the day, and if they are going to be up late, I might do and early morning and mid-afternoon nap.

 

I would nicely explain to them that no one will enjoy two very fussy upset babies, and then suggest that the celebration start a bit earlier and maybe the babies can stay up a tiny bit later than usual since it is Christmas. I would like to believe that family would understand that the needs of the babies come before theirs.

 

Why don't you suggest they start a little earlier and the first thing that happens is the kids open their gifts? Then maybe bring over a PNP or two, and put the kids to sleep in a quiet room ... i don't know if that's doable, but that would be my suggestion. It is crazy to me that the celebration would start so late and everyone would think that the kids would be wide awake!

For us, thanksgiving will be during the day, and we will probably feed the twins and change them into pjs at my in-laws house. Then they'll fall asleep on the ride home ... but we still won't stay super late.

Good luck!

 

We said that if dinner/gifts etc aren't earlier in the day, then we won't make it. Just like we are NOT going into MIL's house christmas morning like we always had. it's only 30 minutes away but I want christmas morning in my own house with my own girls. I think that it's our first christmas as a family so we should get to enjoy it too! Not worry about crying fussy babies!

 

If your scheldule is good, going off for a day or so for the holidays won't really mess it up. I would go with the flow, so to speak. Bring a couple of PNP's, and if they get tired, put them down to sleep--actually, that is what we did the first 3 Christmas' since it allowed us to join in the meal without interruption.

At 6 months, we took the boys to a Christmas party, and when they got tired, put them on blankets on the floor in an upstairs room. The following year, when they were almost 18 months, they stayed home with a babysitter, and did the following year as well. When we went last year, they went with us, even though they were out way past bedtime, they knew it was a one time thing and did great!

 

I agree with pp. See if they will start a little early and try to get them to nap more during the day so they can stay up a little later that night. And then bring a pnp and have them sleep in a quiet room if they start to get tired and overstimulated.

 

I understand sticking to a schedule for the most part...but I personally think it would be an unfortunate choice not to participate in family/holiday activities for the sake of bedtime. In the long run I would rather look back and remember the family togetherness and traditions than look back and say, "we had a scheduled nap." Day-to-day activities are one thing, but if you don't make an exception for holidays--what do you make an exception for?

Reyna

 

You can keep the girls up an extra hour or so -- that probably won't hurt them. Beyond that, stick to your bedtime. If DH's family can't adjust the "traditional" 7pm gathering to accommodate you, you will need to stick up for your babies' needs.

FWIW, we tried once or twice to put my girls to sleep in an unfamiliar house so that we didn't have to run home at their bedtime, and they were not having any of it. Unless they're used to it, I wouldn't count on it working out.

However, since the ILs live right next door, could you put them to bed and then you and DH could trade off staying home with them?

 

QUOTE(becky5 @ Sep 26 2007, 08:12 AM) [snapback]423868[/snapback]
Normally, I do not deviate from the schedule at all! But, in the case of holidays, like Christmas, or Thanksgiving, I do. I just try to get some extra naptime in during the day if they will be up late. For example, my babies normally take 1 nap in the middle of the day, and if they are going to be up late, I might do and early morning and mid-afternoon nap.



I am the same way. Sometimes it just can't be helped and the holidays do get difficult when sticking to the exact schedule. I just hope mine will nap in the car for a bit and then on the way home too. If I stuck to our schedule, we wouldn't see anyone since they nap from 12-3. So I do allow us to deviate from the schedule for holidays and special occasions.

 

I dont mind to throw it off here and there... They can adjust to somethings like that. We will play it by ear for our first holidays... Usually everyone is gone by bed time and that is my only concern. Naps are not an issue for me with them... Thanks giving is at my house.

 

I would have the babies open gifts right when you get there and then put them down in pnp's at their bedtime. I think that sometimes people forget that it is no fun for the PARENTS to try to eat their own dinner when they have two fussy babies to deal with. If you can bring pnp then everyone will get to see them and you and your DH can enjoy the meal along with everyone else.

I am not sure what we are doing about Thanksgiving, but for Xmas we have ILs over Xmas eve and the girls open gifts from them. Christmas morning is just for us and there is no one else there while we open gifts.

 

Thanksgiving is during the afternoon around 2ish so no problems. I don't really worry too much if the boys miss naps because we try to make those up. Main problem is Christmas eve is at my parents, but they usually do an earlier dinner say around 5:30 and then we do gifts around 6:30 so the boys shouldn't be up too much past bedtime(probably could leave my parents by about 8/8:30 and the boys sleep for the hour drive). Christmas morning was usually with ILs but will be at our house with just DH and the boys and then later on we'll go to the inlaws.

I'm somewhat flexible with special occasions so I expect others, particularly family, to be flexible back so we can meet in the middle.

I hope it all works out for all of us.

 

Much to my IL's dismay, we have insisted on hosting Thanksgiving at our house. That way, we can still do what we have to do with the twins whenever we need to and they can go to sleep in their own cribs. Christmas eve will be the trouble b/c we always go to my IL's church (an hour drive away) for service at 8 then back to their house for dessert and coffee - we're never home before 11pm. We'll either bail this year only or mess with the babies' schedule for that night. We just can't decide!

 

Thanks for all the suggestions. I think we will make a brief visit at Thanksgiving and bring the girls home when they get tired. For Christmas, I'll take two pnp and hope they nap during dinner and then wake them up for presents. Maybe they won't be too fussy if they get a late afternoon nap!