Hitting

Anyone else have a baby that hits? He does this constantly. If you get too close or put your face in his he will slap or scratch you. He also does it to his brother, dad and the poor dog. I grab his hand and look him in the eye and tell him No in a stern voice but then he turns his lip down and does it some more. He will even throw one arm out at the side and hit whatever object he's close to. Ive lost it on some occasions and smacked his hand but this does not deter him. I feel guilty for doing that but I get so frustrated and angry with him sometimes. He does this with a defiant look in his eyes like he knows he's hurting you. Is this going to be mean child? What do you do? :unknw:

 

I started doing time outs for hitting...the offender would have to sit on my lap facing a blank wall in the kitchen for a minute. I also would tell him or her, "no hit...that hurts Mommy/Daddy/your brother/sister/etc.). I did find that my kids did a lot of hitting, biting until their language improved. Once they were communicating better, those behaviors did lessen in our house.
Good luck!

 

I'm sure you've already tried this, but we say, "nice, nice" or "gentle, gentle" and hand over hand show the offender how to "pet" someone nicely.

 

We did this a *lot*, especially when the boys would pound on the poor dog. Does your DS think it's funny when he hits, or is it in anger? My guys really thought it was funny to hit or slap; I think they liked the noise it made plus it got a reaction from us, which was rewarding in and of itself. <_< When they would hit, I would warn them that Mama would put them down if they hit me again, or that I would walk away, and I would always follow through if they persisted. This *really* helped because they didn't get any more "nifty" reactions from me, and they had to suffer the consequences of Mama putting them down. :good:

I don't think your DS is going to be a mean child! You just need to find a way to nip this behavior in the bud.

 

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone! One of my daughters is going through a very mean stage! I'm personally scared at how it will end up. She hits, scratches, bites and she thinks it's hilarious! She also lunges out at anything that is near her and smacks at that. Our poor dog just sits there and lets her do it too, sometimes I don't catch it right away and then he'll be wining... Time out doesn't work, tapping her hand doesn't work, the petting/be nice thing doesn't work... my hubby and I have run out of options... I don't know what to do...

 

Hi - I think a lot of children go through this stage and then thankfully grow out of it. We did what a few people have mentioned, saying 'no hit', then "gentle/be nice" and showing them how to pat instead. We also had a lot of success with saying "Ouch" when we got hit, then having them hug the person they hit and say 'sorry'. This was really surprising - when we said "ouch that hurts please say sorry and give a hug/kiss" they would immediately do it. Very cute to see them hugging their sister/brother. That almost always worked for us, but if it didn't, then we would put them in a quiet spot and ignore them for a few minutes (time out.)

Of course, now my son walks around saying 'sorry' right before he does something bad. Monkey!!

 

We have had a bad hitting phase with both kids.. we do what the PPs have said and tell them that it hurts, then show them how to be gentle. The key there is persistence and patience. They still hit sometimes when they're jealous or just to be funny, but it's not nearly as often and they usually follow it up with a hug. Also I just generally praise them for any nice behaviour I see. If they're playing nicely with their brother or giving a hug or sharing I always make sure to let them know that's how we expect them to behave. I know that some of the behaviour will improve when they start to talk too.. a lot of it comes from frustration and not being able to express their feelings.

 

We also do the "be gentle" thing, we've been doing it for about a year now or so, and it does help. Mine hit when upset/angry at the other one mostly. If someone steals a toy, the other one bops them on the head usually. I get them both together, make the offender gently pat the other one and repeat "gentle, be gentle, be nice, that's nice, how sweet", make them give hugs and/or kisses and then we're good.

Liam sometimes gets too rough even with us and will hit/scratch too hard, if he doesn't stop when I tell him to, or won't be gentle, we just put him down or to the side. He learns that that behavior isn't allowed.

 

we are making huge progress with "gentle gentle"

if someone hits i say "no hitting! ...gentle gentle with your brother" and i show him how to use gentle hands (by petting the other twin gently)
they know what it means, and often repeat "gentle gentle" after i say it.

if he hits again, i pick him up and plop him down away from the victim....

 

Thank you all for the reponses. We do say "gentle" and take his hand and rub gently. Sometimes he will go to the victim and rub them on their heads softly. I seem to notice he does it more when he starts to get tired. Ive resorted to just saying "Please do not hit your brother, dog etc." Or I say " ouch please don't hurt momma, dog, brother etc." Then lately I just put him down if I'm holding him and say "well if your going to hit, bite, scratch etc then momma doesn't wanna hold you anymore. Seems to be getting a little better. Hopefully he will learn...sigh.....