help

I am posting this here instead of the potty training forum in hopes that I can get some ideas from parents of older boys. If it needs to be moved I understand. My issue is this. My boys potty trained extremely late. They turned 5 last April and were not potty trained until this summer. Kaden did not get fully trained until 2 weeks before starting kindergarten. Believe me, it wasn't from a lack of trying on my part, for some reason they just were not ready until then. I now have two problems I need to get handled and just do not know what to do. Problem #1 they are still wearing pullups to bed and I just don't know how to get them to where they don't need that. They both wake up every morning wet and sometimes Brendon is so wet he has soaked through his pullup and pajamas. Problem #2 how in the world do you get them to wipe their butt. They know how I know they have to, they been shown a godzillion times, so I know they have to know how. But they refuse. They would rather not wipe and have a sore butt than to wipe. Then if they don't wipe and their butts gets sore they have a fit. If I could get these conquered I would be so happy. It would be so nice to not have to buy pullups anymore. What's your thoughts?

 

Oh sweetie... I feel bad for you. However, at almost 6 years old this is what I would do... NO MORE PULLUPS. It makes it too easy to pee/poop their pants. Put a rubber sheet on the bed, buy "can-do's" (to wipe their own booties) and make potty training the only thing you are doing. Seriously. Nothing. Potty training. Unless you have special needs kiddos (and I have one), they are just being lazy. They can do "extras" when Mommy is not cleaning up after them. (BTW - I have an almost 16 year old and a special needs 4 year old and younger twins!) HTH!

 

If they are still waking up wet, then I wouldn't worry about it. Kids can't control "night training". There is a hormone in the brain that has to activate, and until that does, all you will be doing is changing wet sheets. It took Marcus--who trained 6 months before Jonathan, a year and a half to stay dry at night. Whereas Jonathan never wore a pull-up after he learned to poop in the toilet. Many kids wet the bed until they are 8-10 years old before even the pediatrician will do something about it. It has nothing to do with being lazy, it has everything to do with biology. If Marcus could have stayed dry at night by will power, he would have been done with pullups a year earlier than he was.

As for wiping. A friend told me she teaches her preschoolers to wrap their hand in toilet paper, then use the hand to wipe, that is how she taught Marcus--she was his camp counseler when he was 4, and he never had a problem since.

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Jan 9 2009, 07:04 PM) [snapback]1140467[/snapback]
If they are still waking up wet, then I wouldn't worry about it. Kids can't control "night training". There is a hormone in the brain that has to activate, and until that does, all you will be doing is changing wet sheets. It took Marcus--who trained 6 months before Jonathan, a year and a half to stay dry at night. Whereas Jonathan never wore a pull-up after he learned to poop in the toilet. Many kids wet the bed until they are 8-10 years old before even the pediatrician will do something about it. It has nothing to do with being lazy, it has everything to do with biology. If Marcus could have stayed dry at night by will power, he would have been done with pullups a year earlier than he was.


My twins are 6 and still wear pullups at night. We have tried to get rid of them, and they will pee in the bed 2 out of 3 times. Our pediatrician doesn't even worry about it until they are 8, for the reasons Sharon listed above. It is hormonal and completely out of their control. My oldest is 8 and just stopped wetting the bed. He still does occasionally.

The butt wiping is a whole different story. My daughter who is 3 does just fine but the twins needed help until they were 5 or so. They still don't always do the best job. Since yours trained late, it is going to take them longer, this is new to them. Try buying the toilet paper that is like a wipe that is flushable. I can't remember what they are called. Brain freeze! "can-dos" maybe?? Anyway, it will help insure a better cleaning than regular toilet paper.

My oldest as also very late in training, you are not alone! :hug:

 

My Holly is 8 and is still in a pullup at night and her urologist says don't worry about it. Its completely normal. Many children just aren't physically able to go that long dry. This is a pediatric urologist at Boston's Childrens Hospital. My nieces urologist told my SIL the same thing.

I wish I could be more help with the wiping part, but my two still have days when its an issue. Its something we work on on an ongoing basis.

 

When my children were in K they did not wipe. They would call me in when they went at home and honestly I have no idea what they did at school (it was all day K). I had no idea how I was going to get them to do it themselves. All of a sudden they just did and I never did/said anything to them. They do a great job too and I take absolutely no credit what so ever! I think the fact the other children were doing it is all they needed to realize they could do it.

The others have pretty much covered the over nights, some children's bodies are just not able to make it through the night until they are older. It is not something they can control. I would continue with the pull ups until they go one week being dry then I would go from there but until then I would just continue what you are doing and if you are really concerned you could confirm with your ped!

 

Just a confirmation that Pull-ups at night are pretty common and normal for boys of this age. My 7.5 year old still wears pull-ups at night, as does one of my 5.5 year old twins. My other twin, and my oldest son have never had a problem with staying dry at night. I seriously don't think there's anything you can do about that! My two who are still in pull-ups are my deepest sleepers, so I think that has something to do with it. At my 7 year olds well-child visit last year, I was talking to the pedi about the bed-wetting. He said that 80% of boys that age were dry at night all the time. That leaves a pretty significant 20% that still wet! That really calmed my mind about the situation. I put a plastic sheet on his bed, along with 2 waterproof pads, and then his fitted sheet over them. That way, if he wets the bed, I just have to change a fitted sheet, and the waterproof pads. I tried putting the waterproof pads over the fitted sheet, but they kept bunching and moving and not staying where they were needed! He still wears pull-ups, but sometimes he pees so much it soaks through everything.

Wiping is just a matter of repitition. Since your boys trained later than average, I would give them longer than average to learn all the basics. In the meantime, make sure they get a bath every night so they stay pretty clean, and don't worry too much about it. They'll learn!

 

I would much rather have a pullup to throw away in the AM than wet bedding to deal with.

That age is not uncommon to still use one at night, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Wiping is something they just eventually get better at.

 

it's considered normal for them to wet the bed at night until 7. one of our boys wore pullups until 6 1/2. we tried everything & he could not make it through the night & couldn't wake himself up to go. he would also not wipe (or do a very bad job at it) or poop on himself during the day because he didn't realize he needed to go. in our case all of this turned out to be linked to adhd. as soon as he was diagnosed & started concerta he stopped wetting himself & stopped going to the bathroom on himself during the day. i wouldn't worry about your boys yet but if you continue to have problems by 1st grade i'd check with a doctor to be sure something else wasn't going on. for now they are completely normal.

ETA: when he outgrew pullups we used underjams & he liked those much better because they are thinner & didn't swish when he walked. you couldn't tell he had them on so he felt better about himself wearing them.

 

Isiah, too, was in pull-ups until about age 7...he outgrew the pull-ups so we used the Goodnights brand, they're a little bigger. He was going to the bathroom at school literally every 5 minutes so I took him to a pediatric urologist (turned out he had some sort of bladder infection) but the dr told me that he was not concerned about the pull-ups still at this age.

As for the wiping...UGH! The boys are 9 and we still have days when they don't do as good a job as I would. When they first became potty trained, I would wipe for them but after a while, I just refused to do it, they HAD to learn to do it themselves. They eventually got better and I agree with the previous posters, try those Can-doo wipes that are flushable.

 

My boys were 3 when I potty trained, day time only, and were nearly 3.5 and dd 4 when we did the night time getting out of the pull ups. Here is what we did , we cut out the liquids after 7 (now they can have them again) and we gave each child a piggy bank. Every morning whoever was dry got to have a quarter to go in their bank. They loved the quarters and each took turns getting and not getting them but they really seemed to thrive on the competition of trying to get the most quarters. We constantly was shaking their banks to hear the quarters and see if it was time for a shopping trip. After about 2 weeks we went on a trip (set me back about $80) and I let them wonder through walmart and pick out whatever toy they chose as their reward and give the checkout girl their bag of quarters. Were they totally dry then? No, we kept this up for about another month and a half with less frequent shopping trips and I learned to take them to the dollar store after that but it all worked to keep them motivated and eventually dry and I never ever fussed no matter how many wet beds I had to strip, I just always said ah to bad, oh well, maybe tomorrow you will get that quarter !!!!

and as a side note when we started they always were wet in those pullups. I think those things are just to easy to not wake up in.

Mary

 

I still have one in a pull up at night. He is dry about 90% of the time, but every time we go without the pull up he pees the bed. He is my deep deep sleeper.
My Dr said not to worry till around 8 & can be up till age 10.