Help!

I'm a single 25 y/o who never really planned on getting pregnant at this point in my life. Now i've found out i'm having twins and my head is spinning. Is it humanly possible to raise 2 babies by yourself? How am i going to juggle working and paying my rent and the added expense that 2 babies adds to the picture? I have very little in the way of a support system, my only family left is my mother who's health is poor and she's not really in any shape to help with this situation. any advice?

 

hi pinky,
i can understand your worries and i feel for you. i am in a similar situation, yet also very different. i am 34 and single and pregnant with twins, but i chose to undergo fertility treatments and artificial inseminations with donor sperm to get pregnant after realizing that i'm not marriage material... lol. fortunately though, i have a wonderfully available and supportive family, especially my parents. i moved in with my parents when i was about 18 weeks pregnant and have been able to save a lot of money up by doing that. my mother works from home so she will be available for childcare whenever i need her. again, i am very lucky to have her. regardless of this great emotional support, my family is not rich by any means so i am 32 wks and still working fulltime and it's killing me. i still find myself totally and utterly stressed out when thinking about having 2 children to raise 'on my own'. it's terrifying and people always question me and ask me how i'm going to do it. you know what? you just do it. i just think about immature teens with no education who have 3 and 4 children and they manage. we just have to put our heads down and do it and it will work out. you will probably qualify for WIC and i'd definitely get on that ASAP to save a lot of money and especially to help once the babies are born with formula and such. take all the help you can get. there are support groups out there such as 'single mothers by choice' and they have many local chapters, and many of these women have multiples as well since many did fertility treatments. it's a great place to network and meet other women in a similar situation and get advice and help. there is no way that this will be a stress-free or even low-stress time for you, but you will make it through it like we all will. we are here for you!
amy

 

is it possible? yes it is. the first 6 weeks was rough. i am married but still was doing it all since hubby worked. i fed them both at the same time propping bottles whatever. when one was hungry i gave the other a bottle. since it would of been a half hour later anyway. breastfeeding will save you tons of money on formula. it is also possible to do it some amazing women on here have done it so look for support in that area too. this is a good place for support answers venting just about anything. i wish i found this place when i was pregnant and mostly just after i had the babies. i would of been able to work up until the last month when i could hardly move. since it was unplanned i am sure there is a guy out there who is responsible. would he pay child support? if not then there are ways to make him pay child support. also i like pp's about moving in with mom but if she isn't feeling well you may be taking care of 3 instead of 2. don't freak yet. i am sure you have friends. well maybe they can come over and help you get some sleep. sometimes mine would sleep in the swing it was the only way i could get them to sleep so if you have to do that don't feel bad. if you go to work there is always day care. the expenses...well there was a post in here last week on stuff you really don't need for a baby and what was a waste of money. biggest waste of money was crib bedding. just get some sheets. bedding is 200.00 sheets are all you will really need. i have a swing if you want it all you will have to do is pay for shipping and it's yours. also i have a bouncer same thing with shipping. good luck to you...

 

First of all CONGRATULATIONS on your Twin Pregnancy and :sign0016: to TS!!

Yes it is possible to raise twins single, there are lots of amazing moms on here that do it day in and day out. Its going to be tough, but you will have such a sense of accomplishment!! We will all be here to help you every step of the way!

 

You can do it! (I sound like that guy form the Adam Sandler movies.) First off CONGRATS! Maybe you can find a MOM group where you are living for extra support. I am sure you will quailify for WIC that will take care of the formula. (We figure we use $400 a month in formula and WIC gets it all. That relieves a hugs burden.)

Keep your chin up. Twins are great. I have done it all alone after my hubbys first 2 weeks off. WE are 18+ hours from home and any family. The hubby is in the military and is MIA around the house most of the day. (I have to give him props when he is home though. He takes over.) You will be fine! Hugs!

 

Start building the support system and looking into helpful resources now. I think you can do it. . . and even enjoy it! Congratulations!

 

Finding out you are pregnant with twins is a shock weather you are single or not. I am a SAHM but i do take care of my 3 kids 24/7 all by myself (basically) from day one. It is possible and there are women on this site that do it with out any help. DITTO on the WIC, just look it up online and find out how much the monthly limit is. You will be okay!! and you found the right site for support!!!

Congrats on the twins!!!

 

Hi and welcome to Twinstuff. :wavey: Congratulations on your twins.

Finding out you are pregnant with twins is a shock. You can raise twins on your own, it won't be easy in the beginning, but you can do it. Is there a local twins club you can get support from?

 

Congrats on your twins. You can do this! Come here to vent and get advice anyday.

 

I agree that it will be hard. I am not sure where you stand on this, but I believe God really doesn't give us more than we can handle. (At times it certainly feels like it though!) This site is awesome, and I agree with pp that suggests you start lining things up now. Hang in there, Lisa :hug99:

 

where there is a will, there is a way.

It will not be easy, but what worth anything is? There are government programs that can help you out with insurance, formula and childcare and even rent until you get on your feet - go to your local health dept. ASAP to check on everything that you would qualify for. Bless your heart - just stay strong and remember one day you will look back on all of this and wonder how you did it - but you will have! take each day as they come -- things have an odd way of working themselves out! Focus on taking care of you and your babies - that is all you can do for now, the healthier you and your babies are, the "easier" things will be.

Congratulations on your babies and welcome to TS - there are so many moms here that are experienced with almost everything- this is a GREAT place for you to be. everyone is so supportive - like a big family.

:hug99: ,
Heather

 

As a pp said there is help availabe. WIC helps with formaula. You can get Food stamps if necessary. You can apply for day care help too. Don't buy new, go yard sailing. There is always the option of adoption also if you feel like that might be right for you. Someone posted on here the other dau about an open adoption. It is not easy, but it is possable to do it alone

 

First and foremost - believe in yourself and the determination you have to make this work.

There are many different programs out there to help single moms - and probably even more for those with twins! Also, if you know who the father is (not to assume that you don't), make sure you get financial support from him! Even if he doesn't want to be a part of their lives... he IS half-responsible for them being there!

Best Wishes to you!