Help! They think punishments are hilarious?

Please, experienced toddler Mommies, when you get a few minutes, read my pathetically long post and tell me what you would do.

This has always been a problem with my boys but it's gotten really bad lately. My boys think that most punishments are funny. The louder I scold or yell, the more they laugh which reinforces the behavior and they just keep on doing what they're doing.

When we're at home, I can take away favorite toys or put them in the timeout box (an area set off by gates so they can't escape) and they just barely get the concept that they are being punished.

When we are out, the big problem is getting in and out of the minivan. Instead of climbing into their seats when I tell them to, they scramble all over the van and into the front seats. I spend a huge amount of time wrestling one into his carseat (using my knee to pin him down while I buckle the straps) while the other one is in the front seat pushing buttons and levers (a big no-no in my book). This morning, Adam tried to take the car out of Park. Although the car was turned off and in the garage so I don't think it would have caused a problem, I still consider it a huge danger that he would even try. When I screamed at him, he laughed. I grabbed him (allowing Ben to escape the pin-down) and slapped his hand (never done that before). He thought it was hilarious. So I pin him down and strap him in and then repeat with the brother (who was now in the front seat).

This afternoon, leaving preschool was the worst. When I opened the minivan door for them to climb in, Adam decides to make a break for it and run into the parking lot (no traffic, thank goodness). I screamed NO at the top of my lungs which causes him to laugh hysterically and run faster. Well Ben thought that this was a pretty great game and also runs into the parking lot. I manage to round them up and hoist them into the van (I was pretty rough about it), they are laughing out loud the whole time. I'm screaming trying to make them understand that their behavior is very wrong and they just don't get it. Without strapping them in, I locked the van doors and sat in the front seat and told them we were having a big timeout. After a minute of physically preventing them from climbing into the front, they finally stopped laughing and looked a little more serious. Ben said, "Big timeout", and I said it was for running away from the car and he repeated that for a while so I think he was trying to process it. Adam asked me for his hat (something he likes a lot) and I said he couldn't have it because he ran into the street. I asked them to get into their seats. They didn't but they let me hoist them in there so I could strap them in. The whole way home (10 minutes) Ben kept repeating "Big timeout, no run from car", so I think he started to get it. Adam kept saying, "Big timeout, no hat", so I'm not sure what he was thinking. They were both more solemn than usual when we got home so I think they understood that something had happened. I rushed them upstairs for their nap and they did alright after that.

The laughing at their own bad behavior has been going on since they were about 18 months old. That's one of the reasons we have the timeout box, because it was the only punishment I could think of that didn't involve me wringing their necks. It actually helps keep the bad behavior in check at home but when we are out, there is no timout box.

So, parents, any ideas?

 

Please, experienced toddler Mommies, when you get a few minutes, read my pathetically long post and tell me what you would do.

This has always been a problem with my boys but it's gotten really bad lately. My boys think that most punishments are funny. The louder I scold or yell, the more they laugh which reinforces the behavior and they just keep on doing what they're doing.

When we're at home, I can take away favorite toys or put them in the timeout box (an area set off by gates so they can't escape) and they just barely get the concept that they are being punished.

When we are out, the big problem is getting in and out of the minivan. Instead of climbing into their seats when I tell them to, they scramble all over the van and into the front seats. I spend a huge amount of time wrestling one into his carseat (using my knee to pin him down while I buckle the straps) while the other one is in the front seat pushing buttons and levers (a big no-no in my book). This morning, Adam tried to take the car out of Park. Although the car was turned off and in the garage so I don't think it would have caused a problem, I still consider it a huge danger that he would even try. When I screamed at him, he laughed. I grabbed him (allowing Ben to escape the pin-down) and slapped his hand (never done that before). He thought it was hilarious. So I pin him down and strap him in and then repeat with the brother (who was now in the front seat).

This afternoon, leaving preschool was the worst. When I opened the minivan door for them to climb in, Adam decides to make a break for it and run into the parking lot (no traffic, thank goodness). I screamed NO at the top of my lungs which causes him to laugh hysterically and run faster. Well Ben thought that this was a pretty great game and also runs into the parking lot. I manage to round them up and hoist them into the van (I was pretty rough about it), they are laughing out loud the whole time. I'm screaming trying to make them understand that their behavior is very wrong and they just don't get it. Without strapping them in, I locked the van doors and sat in the front seat and told them we were having a big timeout. After a minute of physically preventing them from climbing into the front, they finally stopped laughing and looked a little more serious. Ben said, "Big timeout", and I said it was for running away from the car and he repeated that for a while so I think he was trying to process it. Adam asked me for his hat (something he likes a lot) and I said he couldn't have it because he ran into the street. I asked them to get into their seats. They didn't but they let me hoist them in there so I could strap them in. The whole way home (10 minutes) Ben kept repeating "Big timeout, no run from car", so I think he started to get it. Adam kept saying, "Big timeout, no hat", so I'm not sure what he was thinking. They were both more solemn than usual when we got home so I think they understood that something had happened. I rushed them upstairs for their nap and they did alright after that.

The laughing at their own bad behavior has been going on since they were about 18 months old. That's one of the reasons we have the timeout box, because it was the only punishment I could think of that didn't involve me wringing their necks. It actually helps keep the bad behavior in check at home but when we are out, there is no timout box.

So, parents, any ideas?

 

sorry no ideas, my brother and I use to laugh at our mom too. she was so soft spoken that when she yelled it was unusal to us and well hilarous. contact your local children and youth services or a local hospital they usually have classes with unique disipline or rewards. Let us know if anything helps.

 

Sue, I have NO ideas for you but want to give you a HUGE HUG! I just don't know what I'll do in these situations, so I am reading with great interest!!

 

quote:
Originally posted by one plus two more:
sorry no ideas, my brother and I use to laugh at our mom too. she was so soft spoken that when she yelled it was unusal to us and well hilarous.

I don't think anyone who has ever met me would describe me as soft spoken. I'm pretty hot-headed, too, but knowing that yelling makes it worse has taught me some a lot of patience. I didn't expect anyone to have a magic bullet solution but it couldn't hurt to ask. This is the terrible-two's at it's worst (oh please, let it be the worst) and I'm sure we'll get past it before they move out.

This weekend, DH and I are going to practice with them the proper behavior when using the car. They listen to Daddy a little better than me and it will be easier with two adults. We will continue to practice using my car every weekend until the behavior improves.

Thanks for the support, everyone! If I figure out any secrets, I'll let you know.

 

If you figure this out let me know. Ryan has the same problem. I am not soft spoken either, but maybe I'm just so funny looking that he has to laugh. Maybe it's a boy thing, as Sofia doesn't do it.

 

No advice to give...because my girls also laugh at us when we tell them no. At home I really try to keep a very serious face when I have to punish the girls. When getting in the van, I take out one kid at a time so that they can't climb all over.
Sue