HELP. They tag team!

Our boys are 9months old (almost 9 1/2) and they are full of personality. They have never been good sleepers but randomly they will sleep through the night...so I know they can do it. We are trying to be consistent but it is very difficult. One will sleep through the night great, but the other will not. The next night they switch. We try everything. So, we try the CIO.....we do go in to soothe every 20-25minutes for just a brief moment. Then, the next night the problem child from the night before sleeps great, but the other one screams. The next night, they switch again. So, is CIO even being effective? Are they learning anything?? Eventually, the screamer will wake the good sleeper and it gets worse!!! This has been going on for over a week with no hints of success.

We have given in (not for a couple weeks) and given bottles, and they INSTANTLY go to sleep for the rest of the night. They eat constantly all day. They both weigh almost 22lbs. (50th%) Snacks, food, 4-6oz bottles (one gets 8oz before bed). They go to bed at 7-7:30p and wake around 7a for the day. They nap 2x for about 3 hrs total.

We change diapers, reposition, rock(try to only do when they are really upset), tylenol (thinking teething issue), we have white noise, humidifier, change the environment temperature....you name it we have tried it! It doesn't help. They do not take paci's but they both have special blankets.

We are at a loss what to do! We need sleep badly!!

Thanks for you help.

 

Since you have tried everything I can think of I would say you need to just let them cry. Don't go in after 20-25 mins. It is going to suck (I would peak my head in to make sure they weren't stuck in the crib but made sure they couldn't see me) but if you are consistent it will get better. Even with doing CIO at 7 months, they didn't STTN every night during the week until about 15/16 months. There are a lot of milestones that are occurring at 9 months that really disrupt sleep. Hang in there!

 

I agree with what Meg said - don't go in after 20 to 25 minutes and definitely don't give them a bottle. Just keep telling yourself "everyone in this house needs to sleep" - it's true. You'll be a better mommy if you are well rested.

 

so, I don't go in there at all?? that is hard. but, you are right because when I do go in there, they stop crying and watch me to make sure I am still standing there...then when I hit the door...they start up again!

just keep up w/CIO even if they sleep great for a night or two, then one night they get upset? how do you know nothing is wrong? sometimes we do go in the room and notice that they have pooped or wet through their diapers. what do you do in the respect? just change them and be done? I am just nervous...and I find that I can't sleep b/c I worry something is wrong. what if I go in there once in the beginning, if nothing is wrong then not go back in the room? would that work??

babies are smart little boogers!!

 

do you go in there at all? Do they cry for long at this point?

 

I have the same question. Is it okay to go in there when they initially wake up and make sure everything is ok. I find that going in after 20 minutes or so doesn't help them, they just get more upset. But I do feel like I want to make sure everything is okay, pat their back, put in a paci, etc. when they first wake up.

I remember Danibell posting something a day or two ago about doing sort of a modified CIO where you check on them a couple of times and then leave them if you know they are ok.

We did CIO last night after nothing seemed to help and it seemed like they just wanted to be awake and play. DD cried for over an hour, hysterically, not just fussing. DS cried for maybe 20 min. and went back to sleep and slept through all of DD's screaming. I think we are going to do it again tonight.

GL! I hope sleep improves for you. Sleep deprivation is so hard. I feel like my LOs are sleeping worse than when they were newborns. :-(

 

I could never not go in but I was very matter of fact about it. Absolutely no light at all, go feel around and leave again. I'd go in 15 min intervals to shhh/pat them for a second then leave again. Eventually they catch on that you are still there but that you aren't going to get them up.

 

When we first did it, I slept in the guest room so DH could sleep. That helped b/c I didn't feel guilty about being awake and keeping him up. I read somewhere (probably here) to try modified CIO. I kept a digital clock with me and a book (so I had something else to focus on while they cried). The first night I went to check on them (smelled diaper, made sure no limbs were sticking out of the crib) after 10 mins of crying. I then waited 15 mins and did the poop/limb check again. No talking, not back rubbing, nothing. Then I waited 30 mins before going in again. If there was a poop, I'd change the diaper in silence and in the darkness (well, we had a nightlight in their room). The first couple nights Ryan went to sleep within 25 mins. Jake took 2 hours the first night and a little over an hour the second night. When they woke up for a bottle (which was the habit we were trying to break) I did the same thing. No talking, cuddling, just business. Checked diaper then waited the cries out in 10/15/30 min intervals. Within 3 nights, Ryan went to sleep without crying and began to STTN. Jake was a fighter though. He was (is) attached to his paci and if he couldn't find it he'd freak out. Thankfully the NICU gave us 20 of those paci's they got him attached to and I put 10 in his crib so he could always find one. Now (and since about 10 months) my boys go to bed without any tears or hassles. They went to big boy beds at 20 months and don't get out at night. Naptime was always a fight, but after 10-15mins they would be asleep and they learned to sleep through the others crying.

I hope that helps. Please ask more questions if I'm forgetting something or confusing it. Jake just fought me on naptime again and my brain feels a little loopy from it! :lol: