HELP...THEY SCREAM IF I LEAVE THE ROOM!

HI All,

My twin girls are just 1 year and are only content if I(or friend/family member) are in the room. THis is great when people are here or family is staying but as soon as it is back to just me they absolutely cry and carry on if I leave the room, some days i dont have the energy to listen to them carry on and I get very stressed as I dont know how to stop it so I give in and sit with them all day. IT is getting really bad and I cant even go to the bathroom without this carry on from them. Everyone says WOW what great babies you have but that is only because they are in the room with them and stimulating them that the babies are perfect! I am always naggin my husband to get home from work so I can have him play with them and I can actually get something done e.g. shower, cook etc. I cant stand it and dont know if it is just a stage or if I am digging a huge hole for myself by letting them win. PLEASE, ANY ADVICE would be great..... However if one more person says"oh dont worry they are only small once you should just sit and enjoy them all day" I will scream! I NEED to get things done, THANKS

 

Do they have two routine naps a day? That is when I get a shower, eat, get things done etc. Sometimes I will get up when I hear them in the morning and get a quick shower for the day. Mine still scream when I have to get something done, quick bathroom trip, change wash over, get their snack and they want to be held etc. I just get it done and they are starting to do this less since they realize I am not leaving. Also, I know tv can be a touchy subject but mine do watch tv and if I put on their favorite shows, Wubbzy, Mickey Mouse they will sit for the whole half hour on their couch and watch. It's hard but it gets easier my living room is fort knox and I still have to be lighting quick if they are not occupied.

 

I cant stand it and dont know if it is just a stage

I remember this oh so well!!! What helped me become less frustrated with it was just to read alot about what to expect with a baby that age, read/hear about other people's experience when their child was that age, and then figure out what I could do to help ease my frustration once I understood their behavior better.

So, what worked for me were a couple of things. As far as them crying when I left the room, I knew they were fine and safe and would stop crying when I came back/or sooner. It was just a fact that I HAD to leave them alone at times to go to the bathroom or run a load of laundry down to the washer. Other stuff I dealt with during their nap times or when my DH came home. I had to teach myself that in the big scheme of things, the house work/laundry/shower/ TS time /etc.... could wait. And their behavior was going to pass and that it was a normal phase of their development.

It did pass. Things got done. Meals got made. Everyone ate. I kept clean. I spent time on TS B)

 

It gets better, And sometimes they just need to cry about it. You can also try to get them involved in play and leave the area, gradually leave more and more. They will get used to it. It will get better. And somedays you just need to sit and play. It will all get done at some point. I know at my house, it will still be there to be done. Eventually, they will start to play together and every now and then actually help you! Well, they will think they are helping, it will take much more time, but you will get it done. Deep breaths and try to relax. Mine would spin out of controll even more when I was stressed about the situation.

 

Thanks for all your comments. I am glad to hear it is more of a stage than my lack of parenting skills. I guess as I have never been involved with a mothers group or twin group I have isolated myself a bit and am now starting to realise the importance of learning and understanding what other parents deal with,thus I am here!

Shadyfeline: My babies have 1 day sleep in the pram while I walk so the house is left as is. I gave up trying to settle them in their cots in the day to get stuff done as I find it very difficullt to pat 2 babies to sleep at once?! yes, another topic I should have logged on to this website about for advice

Mama2ColinAndRyan: Your post really helped me keep my head together on this one, thanks

cricket1: I think I can relate to them being worse on days when I stress about it, makes sense I guess, thanks

 

mine would do this but I always made sure they had plenty of toys on the floor to occupy them and eventually they would cry for 30 seconds until they found a toy to play with....it is a stage - once they can walk they'll just follow you around!

 

You might also try to find another twin mom or two locally, you can get together celebrate/commiserate your experiences to date. We did at about 18 months, and it has been a lifesaver! The board is great, but sometimes it is nice to be with someone else that "knows"!