HELP! NO SLEEP!

Please, someone tell me what to do! I have two 6 week olds...

I have a mamma's boy who is very gassy, I would say BORDERLINE colic, but not quite... He's huge, was 8lb 1oz born, eats about 6oz every 3-4 hours and is already in 3-6 mo sleepers, not sure what he weighs now but it's A LOT.

Then I have a VERY independent girl who only cries if she absolutely needs something. She's dainty, was 6lb 9oz born, eats about 4oz every 3-4 hours and is just now in 0-3 mo sleepers...

When do they sleep 6 hours or longer? Is there anything you guys have done that helped that along or forced it to happen?

I have no consistency with them... somewhere during the day everything gets screwed up and some nights they sleep 4 hours, some they are up every hour... some days I am feeding a baby every hour and some I'm feeding every 3-4... ITS CHAOS!! I don't know what to do... The crying makes me wanna pull my hair out some nights!
I know most of you are going to say to put them on a schedule... but please, I don't mean to sound dumb, but I'm tired, and I am wondering if someone can break it down and tell me EXACTLY what they did and HOW to START putting them on a schedule... and does that even work when they are so terribly different? Oh god, please help... ANY advice is welcome... please no criticism, I am tired and not emotionally stable to handle it.

Thank you!

CJ

 

I think the advice you are going to hear the most is forget about a schedule until they are about 5 to 6 months. You will just stress yourself out worrying about it. I know I did (and still do). My LO's are 6 months and we are just starting to get a schedule going. That being said, I would have to say my biggest challenge in being a twin mummy is keeping my LO's on the same schedule. I think it was around weeks that I realized that just my LO's cried for other reasons than being hungry. I started offering a paci if they started crying after eating, and that helped a lot. My LO's are also very gassy and very different babies, so you have my sympathies.

One thing I did at around 6 weeks was I had a note pad where I wrote down everything I did with the babies. Sometimes I was so tired I couldn't remember how long it had been between feeding ect. This helped me to move them to a 3 hour feeding schedule. This way I knew if they were crying an hour after feeding something else was wrong (tired, gassy ect).

I'm not sure if you are already doing this, but if one wakes in the night you can try waking and feeding the other baby. That way you are only getting up once.

Big hugs! I have been where you are and it will get so much better. Hang in there!

 

I wake them. When one wakes up to eat, I wake the other one up to eat and reset the clock. I feed them both at the same time, there are no single meals (I do make exceptions on occasion). I also try to put them back down at the same time. I know my bigger one goes down sooner but his brother goes down 15 mins later so they are getting about the same amount of sleep. Yes, they are on a 4 hour cycle (wake, eat, play sleep, wake again when it is 4 hours from the first wake). But at least it is consistent and I know when things are going to happen. Good luck

Oh and I am editing to add that if you aren't swaddling them to sleep, start doing it. The swaddle me blankets are awesome and they also help calm my sons when they are getting fussy.

 

At 6 weeks your are in survival mode and they are probably in or about to hit a growth spurt. I dont think their weights play any part in sleeping longer hours. It comes from the brain and they need to mature. I think what they are doing sounds normal. :tomato: You just have to hang in there. If you feel like you might have some PPD call your OB. Maybe you have a touch of the blues.

Some things you can do at night is swaddle, offer a pacifier, have some white noise or a lullaby CD playing in the room where the babies are sleeping, or sleep them in the swing if that helps.

:hug:

 

All of my kids were on a schedule from day one home from the hospital, all slept 11 to 12 hrs by 12 weeks and none were sleeping longer than 3 hours at night at six weeks. You said they eat every three to four hours, make it every three hours all day long. Wake them at whatever you want your start time to be. For us with the twins it was 7am with my oldest it was 8am but it doesn't matter. What matters is that you do the same time every day. Then feed them every three hours from that time on. If they are asleep, wake them up. This helps them get more calories in during the daytime so they gradually need less at night. Naps were very random until about 4mos. I let the twins sleep in the swings, bouncies, wherever they wanted but feedings were consistent. This is the first place to start. Get them eating every three hours and in a few weeks you can work on sleeping or night time or whatever else you want. If you choose 7am as your start time but they ate at 5:30 am, still get them up at 7 but maybe move a little more slowly getting them changed and bottles made so it's 7:15 or 7:30 when they eat. They may not eat as much as normal because it's only been 2 hrs but then feed them at 10 (because your normal schedule would be 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, and 10pm) so they are back on schedule for the rest of the day. I'd be happy to share more but don't want to overload you! lol Just ask or send me a PM and I'll answer any questions you might have.

 

I totally agree with ktfan....this sounds like me.

First of all, take a deep breath, you are in survival mode! I know that statement does not help you now, but you truely are.

At 6w my boys really changed. They went from the cutest babies in the world to OMG...what have I done. I realized that they were hitting a growth spurt and they are changing and their brains cannot keep up. I realized that I had one boy that was not sleeping during the day if he was out of his room. So, I had to start a nap schedule. I layed them both down after their mid-morning bottle and they slept. It made my day SO much better because they were able to sleep and they became happy babies again. This is when I realized that I had to be home so they will sleep. My boys do not sleep in the car or when they are out and about.

I pushed my boys to get most of their calories during the day and I always gave them a bottle before I went to bed.

It will come. Your babies will sttn, I promise and they will do it on their time, you really cannot force it, but you can help them.

GL,
Jenn

 

I'm gonna ditto everyone else.

Odds are if they are crying an hour after a bottle, it's from an upset tummy/gas issue and feeding them another bottle is actually going to make it worse. 6 wks is really really early to sleep through the night, 3-6 months is much more common.

Survival mode sucks, and that's where you are at right now. I agree with feeding them at the same time or within 15 mins of each other. We had no set "time schedule" it was more just keeping them together on naps and feeding. When one wakes up, day or night to eat, feed the second one too. When one gets sleepy and is ready for a nap, put the second one down too. My babies mostly slept in their bouncers or on the couch at that age, until about 3 months when we started transitioning to the crib.

I also do a fan and lullabies in the bedroom at night. I've found with my kids that letting them nap in the living room where all the activity is, and sleeping in the darkened quiet cribs at night really helped them keep their days and nights straight. My oldest kids sttn at 6 and 8 wks, and the twins did at 3 months.

Oh also for your gassy baby, try mylicon drops, they are over the counter and help all the itty bitty gas bubbles join together. If that's not helping, ask your dr for Levsin drops. They are prescription and are for gas and colic! They made a world of difference when we finally decided our dd had colic!

:hug: You'll find your groove eventually. At about 3 months things start calming down and falling into a more predictable pattern! Hang in there!!

 

This is the hardest part, but you will get through it.

For the gas, I was told to burp after ever once to every two onces. My doc taught me a trick and I swear it work, but sounds weird. Sit the baby on your lap in a sitting position supporting his head, lean him all the way forward, all the way back and all the way to both side and repeat it 2 or 3 times, then burp. I always hat to pat mine rather forfally, people used to laugh on the back to get the burps out, but I always made sure they let out a burp before I offered the bottle. They would scream when I took away the bottle, but I gave them a passifier to hold them over while i was burping them. Moving them in that motion helps the gas bubbles come together and they burp really easy. You could also try switching to doctor brown bottle, a little pricey, but I had alot better luck with thme. My ped told me that babies assosociate gas pain with hunger and will continue to eat when you are feeding them to get rid of the pain and that is why it is very important to to stop several times in the feeding. It takes longer but is worth it in the end. You could also try sleeping them on an incline or putting them in a bouncy seat after feeding to help the gas move or cycling like a they are riding a big and pushing their legs up to their chestlegs works.

For the Crying colicyness, the best advice I have gotten from this board is wathcing the HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK movie, you get get it online or I rented it from my library. You are thinking I do not have time for this, but it was the best 1 hour and a half I spent and saved my sanity. In short it says that it has to do with the baby not adapting to the environment something to do with the nervous system and to recreate the feeling of being in the womb. Their are 5 straties, one suckin passifier, 2 this type of jiggling motion that mimics the feeling in the womb, 3 white noise- static, fan ect, shhing noise (for mine the louder the better),4 wrapped in a swaddle - the miracle blanket style seems to be the best and they can't break free from it since it kind of like a straight and jacket. and of course i can't think of the last one. Basicially some babies only need one thing to work and others may need all 5 strategies. No joke my son when from screaming bloody murder to instantly quite, everyone swore he was hungry,but I just knew he wasn't. I would wrap him so tight, put the static on, jiggle him, give him a passifier and the put him in the boucy seat on vibrate and in seconds when into a deep sleep. This stuff is like magic and saved my sanity.

For the schedule I read the Healthy Sleep Habbits the Happy Child (regular edition has more info than suprisingly the twin edition), great book and you definatley do not have to read it form cover to cover, you can skim it and it is broken up into months and what to expect and do. Alot of people on this board go by this book. From 7 am to 7 pm, I put them on a eat, play and sleep schedule. Every three hours I would wake them up, get the bottle ready, change them, feed them both, play with them for as long as they would tolerate it (made sure they stayed up, but you do not want to get them too overtire or they won't sleep), then I would bounce them both in their bouncy seats with a passifier until they feel asleep and then I would repeat it again. So I was feeeding them at 7 am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm and again at 7pm. From 7pm -7am I put them in their cribs with white noise. I would also wate for them to pee after I fed them their last bottle quickly change their diapers in the dark (I found chaning them one more time really helped getting them to sleep longer) and put them to bed. During the night when they got up to eat I woke them both up, changed them first since that wakes them up with a very dim light, no eye contact, fed them and right back to bed. Some people like to stagger the schedule by 15 mins since they are more comfortable feeding one at a time and depending upon if you have help others like to feed them both at the same time. It is a little catiotic with the crying, but I always found getting the bottle together and everything ready before I woke them was less stressful. I would give them a passifier while i was changing them and sing to them to stop them from crying. Eventually they become more paitent and you have more time to get things together. It is definatly possible to put them on a eat, play and sleep schedule at this age and may of us on this board wake them every 3 hours during the day and follow this routine. If you are nusing you could wake them, play and nuse then sleep since they usually fall asleep nursing. Mine were sleeping 8 hours by 6 weeks and 12 hours by 8 weeks after i started following this routine mentioned by the ladies on this board, but every baby is different and we go through regressions all the time but for the most part they are pretty decent, knock on wood. I also have been very consistent with a bed time routine. I begin it about 1/2 before bedtime either by giving them a bath or sponge bathing them with a little soap and water in a container follwed by lotion and changing into their p.js. I always play quite music before every nap and bedtime while I am getting them ready to transition them.

You are in survival mode and it does get easier in different ways. Enjoy each moment as they are so little and tiny even thought you are utterly tired and sleep deprived because it really goes by fast. Here are some recomendation that I have. Hope this is of some help.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/Marc-Weissbluth/e/9780449004029

http://www.thehappiestbaby.com/

http://www.miracleblanket.com/
(you can make your own using a large thin sheet and receinving blanket it if you watch the tutorial)

http://www.arpillow.com/

 

Ok, for those of you waking them every 3 hours, what do you do if they JUST fall asleep around 3 hours? Do you just wake them anyway?

 

Well mine are both girls but I have one in 3-6 months and one in 12 months!!!! No schedule happened until about 12 weeks and then I just wake the sleeper up if they sleep over 1/2 beyond my WIDE AWAKE ONE. Seriously Josie is probably a tad sleep deprived since I wake her up alot but she is a happy easy going baby so it works for me. Good luck.

 

I would keep waking them every three hours at that age they should only be able to tolerate I would say absolute max hour and a half awake time then try to get them to sleep, . Eventually they will learn when to sleep, play and eat and they will automatically wake up at the three hour mark and be tired after they have been up for a little bit, just try to stay consistent or if you find that they fall alseep after they eat you could always switch it around and do play, eat then sleep, I would just stick with a three hour pattern during the day and stay consistent in the order in which you eat, play and sleep and eventually they will know what to expect. Hope that helps. You want to try to get them to distinguish when it is time to eat, play and sleep and get in as much calories and awake time during 7am to 7pm, so they eat less after that time and sleep more.

 

CJ,

I could have written your post almost word for word. I too have a borderline colic boy and a very sweet little girl. I don't have any advice since I'm pretty much at the same point that you are but just wanted to send you a :hug: and let you know that you are not alone.

With Colin we swaddle him at night and it does seem to help a ton, my husband does this amazing double wrap that he can't get out of no matter how hard he tries. he does calm down after being swaddled for a few minutes (well like 20 min). I try not swaddling them all day so he gets use to sleeping without being swaddled but if he gets "difficult" then I do swaddle him.

Good luck!! And just remember to be grateful that both of them aren't like our little boys!

 

Keep it coming you guys! This is great stuff... I am going to try the three hour thing. I'm not gonna get my hopes up about the sleeping 12 hours by 8 weeks and 11-12 hours by 12 weeks, but it gives me hope and I'm gonna get on this ASAP... Starting tomorrow morning at 7am.

Soon2BMom3 - Let's try what they're saying and keep in touch to see how it's going...

So let me get this straight... All day, you wake them, feed them, keep them awake as long as possible, let them dose off... then wake them again at three hours from the last waking to feed them again?

I think I can do this... maybe. No sleep for me!! Not until this starts working anyway. LOL It's like a science experiment!

So are we all agreed on swaddling at night then? I can swaddle like no other, so that part's cake... As a matter of fact, my daughter was just screaming with Daddy in bed... I went in, swaddled her after reading your comments... she cried for about the time it took to write this, and now she's quiet. My son keeps throwing his hands up in the air as I sit here, startling himself... So I think I will go ahead and swaddle him too...

OH! And yeah, about the growth spurt, I really think they did hit one, or ARE hitting one... Cause all of a sudden Xzavier doesn't fit ANYTHING... I had to pull out all the next size up clothing to get sleepers that fit. It felt like that happened all of a sudden, maybe that's just how fast they all grow, I dont know... New mom, ya know? It's all new.

I am so happy... What a difference a little hope makes. I'll post more questions when I have my next breakdown... quite possibly tomorrow, I'll let you know. LOL In the meantime, share, share, share... I am loving this.

P.S. How do you post pictures here?