Help Needed

My 14 y/o is pushing me to my breaking point and I am about to my wits end. I have tried everything to keep the peace around here, but I can't seem to get any where with her.

It started when I had to go on hospital bedrest with the boys (now 3 mo) and she had to go stay at my mothers house. She does not get along with DH and she always lets him know about her dislike for him.

Once she returned she started her verbal attacks on him and now she is getting physical with the younger kids. When I try to talk to her about it I get the "you don't understand and you are on everyone elses side" routine.

I have tried many things. Family and individual counseling, counseling with her and Dh and Mood stabilizers when we found out that she has bipolar disorder. She sees the theripist weekly and the pshchiatrist monthly.

I love my daughter, but I don't know what more I can do.

Any suggestions/ advice?????

 

At 14 DS2 was nearly impossible. Not getting physical with the little kids (that has to stop immediately), but snarky, sassmouth, melodramatic, tantrums--everything.

He'll be 15 next month and he's much better. He grew out of it. Not that I didn't try everything, but I think time was the only thing that really made a difference. She already has a neutral party to talk to about her feelings, her therapist, so she has someone who is "not on everyone else's side." I think most teens go through a phase where "everyone is against [them]."

I know that's not what you wanted to hear. I would, however, impose serious penalties for getting physical with the little ones. Whatever works best with her (take away her phone?).

 

My advice is this.

Respect her likes and dislikes. I'm not good with abbrevations on here but I am assuming that DH is your Darling Husband.

People have a right to Like or to NOT like someone. And apparently she doesnt like your Darling Husband as much as you do. Respect that!

Talk to her about it. Ask her what it is that she does not like about him.

Suggest that she write it down in a journal. Then you all can air your differences.

Don't ask her to do this if you are not going to take to heart her legitimate complaints about your Darling Husband or rather RA. ** Royal A*#%Hole

 

I know you are new to this board, CSH, but it's really uncool for you to christen the OP's (that's Original Poster's) DH as a "Royal A$$hole" based on a brief description stating that a 14 yo gets annoyed by him. Most 14 yr olds are like this with one parent or the other at some time. Bipolar Disorder is a complicating factor as well. Respect goes two ways. Her DD may not be thrilled with her DH at this point, but that does not make her DD "right" about him. I don't think we've heard enough of either side to make any judgment there one way or the other. And there is no reason why her DD cannot behave in a respectful manner toward him. Certainly children sometimes dislike their teachers, but if they are disrespectful to the teachers they get sent to the office and punitive measures are taken. This is a lesson best learned young, because it doesn't fly well with bosses at all, and everyone eventually has a boss they don't like.

I know my son gets very annoyed with DH, and heck, sometimes so do I. But if you jumped on a board and called *my* DH names it would immediately prejudice me against any advice you might offer, because you lacked the courtesy of not calling my husband names to my face.

 

Well, to let you know things are getting a little better (I believe that too much time together might have been part of the problem) School starts back on the 13th and family counceling starts again Tues, (keeping fingers crossed) maybe they can talk things out there.

My dh does have his issues, but he is a man (most of them do, lol) DD has started on a new med combo that seems to be helping. She has also moved into a room with her 12 y/o sister, so that seems to make her happy for now. (I don't think I'd give up having my own room, but whatever works right)


As for the "Troll", MYOB (mind your own business, since you have trouble with the abv).

 

I'm glad to hear things are going better, and I hope it continues.

 

Me too. Keeping my fingers crossed that things continue to get better.