HELP Needed With Nap nightmare

I need help, ideas and thoughts because I just don't know what to do next.

I have 15 month (7 weeks early) boy/girl twins and I have hit a wall with regards to day time naps. We have been very lucky with sleep for the most part with them sleeping 12 to 13 hours a night, day time naps have been bumpy at times but nothing like what we are experiencing at the moment. My bundles of joy wake around 7:30/7:45 am in the morning and by about 10 am they are ready for the first nap which I have been waking them up from after one hour hoping it would help with the afternoon nap. Up until about 6 weeks ago they would then have a 2nd nap about 2 to 3 hours after they woke from the first, but they were ill 6 weeks ago and nothing has been the same since and it just kept getting worse. They share a room and no matter how tired they are when I put them down in the afternoon they start a party.

So what have I done so far? I tried to move them to one nap a day by slowly moving the morning nap further out by 30 minutes every couple of days but they just struggled and would only sleep for maximum an hour if they fell asleep at all. So I scrapped the one nap a day transition and we are back at 10 am morning naps which they sleep well at and if anything hate it when I wake them. The afternoon though is a nightmare, they just wont sleep (they are obviously tired though) and as one starts to fall asleep the other does whatever they can to keep the party going and as you can imagine they are incredibly cranky during dinner. I do go in every 20 minutes or so to make sure no one has a full diaper and this goes on until 4 pm when I give up.

In the past I have tried separating them by putting one in the portable crib in my bedroom but they loose it and scream, and I sit on the stairs with my heart breaking. So I cleaned out the spare room yesterday and put the portable crib in and put a few toys around the room to make it look a bit more like a bedroom and had planned on splitting them today for the afternoon nap but I could not do it. I don't want whoever goes in the spare room to think they have been punished so instead I listened to them party again and tore my hair out.

I figure my options include separating for afternoon naps only (my idea), Making the move to separate rooms permanently (my husbands idea) or do I let them sleep till they wake for the 10am nap and forget about the afternoon even though they are yawning and tired because the morning nap may not have been sufficient?

Sorry for the book, I tend to go on and on when feeling lost.

 

My 16 month olds are having the same problem.. I just go with the flow. They typically wake at 6am and want to nap at 8am!!! I let them sleep as long as they want, because they have been skipping their 2nd nap for the past 4 days. I also tried moving the morning nap later but they won;t let me. Because of their early nap bedtime is now at 6pm (they don't make it longer) I would just let them sleep as long as they want for their am nap, and move their bedtime up.

 

I agree with T&C, for now, let them sleep as long as they want in the AM and move bedtime up. It might just be a phase they are going through right now or they in the process of changing to one nap. I hope nap times get better for you!

 

have you tried a 2-3-4 schedule? basically, you put them down for their first nap two hours after they wake in the morning, then you put them down for their second nap 3 hours after they wake from their first nap & finally you put them to bed 4 hours after they wake from their second nap. what this means is that their bedtime will be a little bit later for a while & they may only get 11 - 12 hours of night time sleep rather than 12 - 13. this may tide you over until they're ready for the one nap transition. GL!

 

Mine did this around 13 months. I just decided to make the break and go for one nap only. I started at 11, then 11:30 and now they are sleeping at noon. It was not an easy transition. I made them stay up a little later every few days. I always fed them lunch and made sure they had some milk before nap time. We met with a sleep specialist who said to leave them in their crib for one hour, even if they never fell asleep. If mine were crying really hard, I couldn't wait that long. I could only hold out for 35 minutes or so. Slowly, their naps began to lengthen to over an hour and moved up to 2 hours.

They were definitely very cranky around 4-5 pm or so (even though they wouldn't sleep). I usually planned our afternoon activities to end around 4 pm. Then they would fall asleep in the car for 20-30 minutes. Or I would go for a walk around that time so they could sleep a bit in the stroller. It made my life easier and helped get us through the rough transition. When they stopped falling asleep in the car at 4, then I realized we were officially on one nap only.

We separated ours for a few months, but it was because we were having a lot of night problems. They are back together now and both do pretty well and night and for naps (except for teething and sickness).

Do you have blackout curtains? It might help (or you can tape cardboard or a trash bag over the window).

 

I agree with the PP who says to let them sleep in the morning. Mine used to have the same routine as yours. They´d be up at around 8am and back down for a nap around 10-10.30 and they´d sleep 1.5-2 hours. They´d then go back down from 3-5pm. You may find by not waking them in the morning helps them relax for the afternoon. Try not waking them in the morning and see what happens. You may find they are ready for just one nap. I moved my LOs from 2 naps to 1 nap at 15 months as they started nursery in the afternoons. I pushed their bedtime to a later time in the morning and now they go down around 11.30am - 12pm and sleep for 2-3 hours (they get up around 9am). They have lunch when they get up. GL!

 

I agree with letting them sleep in the morning. You could then try for a mid to late afternoon catnap. If mine take a long morning nap the afternoon nap is usually an hour or less and it doesn't affect their bedtime much. If they refuse the afternoon nap and you think they need it you could go for walk in the stroller or for a car ride. A little snooze might help them make it to bedtime.

 

Thank you all so much.

We did have the 2-3-4 schedule going and I let them sleep as long as they wanted in the morning up until 12 pm, but about 4 weeks ago they just would not go down for the afternoon nap so I restricted the morning nap to an hour thinking that would help but it didn't. They went through a big change late last year when we moved cross country, so they went from own cribs in their room, to portable cribs at a hotel, to portable cribs in the new house and then a new room with their cribs (the room is blacked out with a really dark sheet because I have not gotten to the window treatments yet), It took a few weeks to get them back on schedule but they did okay. We have had a bad day here and there over the year but overall I have always considered myself pretty lucky because they have been so good but over the last four weeks I felt like I was drowning.

I have been really tired lately and so things have been eating away at me more than normal and I had not organized anyone to come and babysit since we moved so I have had no break (well apart from one week of guests who were great with them). After reading your responses though I realized I just needed to take a step back, relax and stop stressing so yesterday morning I put them down at 10 am and let them sleep until they woke about 1 1/2 hours. I decided I was not going to stress making sure they had a perfectly balanced lunch so they got vegemite on toast (an Australian thing) and some yoghurt and then we packed up and went to the garden center for the afternoon. We got home at 2:30 and by 3 they were lying on the floor next to each other babbling (I love being a twin mom moment) so I put them down. My son passed out and my daughter (the party girl) chatted on and off until I went to get them at 4:30 pm, I normally would have stressed out but I just let it go. My husband came to a happy home and even got a cooked meal.

They are asleep now and hopefully I can stay as calm today. Once again thank you.

 

I'm so glad yesterday went better for you!

I tell you, the more I stress about stuff (naps, meals, etc.) the worse it all seems to be. I feel like I put pressure on my guys to do things a certain way, and then I freak out when they don't do it. If I step back a bit and go with the flow, things go so much better. Sometime I just need to give my guys the right "foundation" (a regular schedule, healthy food offerings, nap opportunities) and let them do what they need to do.

I hope the new attitude helps you get through the day. Being a mama is hard work, for sure! :hug: