help my girls fight non stop

I have twin girls who are 8yrs old and they fight non stop. I don't know what to do any suggestions?

 

What sort of things do they fight about? Do they have phisical fights or is it more teasing/name calling? It's hard to know what to suggest without knowing more about your girls and the situation. I find that generally it helps to try and look for an underlying cause and/or see if there's anything that's making the situation worse. Do they get much opportunity to spend time apart from each other? Do they (each) have a space in the house that's 'theirs' and they can go to for time alone just to relax if they need to? Just those things alone might make a big difference.

I really like the book Siblings Without Rivalry. It covers lots of situations and has lots of ideas and stories from real families.

 

Without knowing more, it's hard to say what to do. First I would say to make sure that each one has their own space. Just somewhere they can go and be alone. When mine start annoying each other, I give them all by themselves time in the their rooms. They get 30 mins of time in their own rooms with the door closed just to decompress. They can play or lay down. It usually helps quite a bit.

I'm also aking them learn how to resolve their differences themselves. Like the other day, they were fighting over who got to play with 2 cardboard tubes that they got from wrapping paper. They wanted me to decide a winner and loser and pick who could play with them. I proposed that if I had to figure that out, I was putting them both in the recycling bin or they could figure it out. They chose to figure it out because my idea was stricter than anything they wanted.

Good luck and hope you get some ideas that will work for you.

Marissa

 

I have to wonder if it isn't just the age because my two girls are doing the same thing. They fight over anything and everything.

 

They just fight and argue over everything. It started this past year they dont share anymore or get along with each other. Don't let anyone else get involved thats the only time they are on the same side. I use to think for girls that were not identical twins they sure were the same but now they still look alike but are completly different.

 

My twins are 6 and my older DD is 9. They all fight all of the time about everything. Don't have any advise but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. :hug:

 

I thought girls were not supposed to fight as bad as boys but my 2 even at just 3 :catfight: . With my boys who are not twins but older - I separate them for long periods of time - if it is really bad I make one go to my room and the other to his (their rooms are right next to each other that is why I make one go to MY room) After a while they want to be together. I also find things for them to do - I tell them that if they have time to fight that they must be bored. I make them do things (separately, one on one job the other on another) like take a toothbrush and a bucket of soapy water and clean the baseboards OR dust the entire house. I have even had them scrub tubs and toilets. wash walls and wash the windows in our sun room (which is one heck of a job!) Normally after a few minutes of such a job they are really not "bored"!

Good Luck! I think only time will have a chance at completely stopping the fighting. Once they are out of the house and on their own will they realize what they have in a sibling??!! I hope they will anyway!!

 

My boys do that, too! They're VERY interested in being right and also in getting their own way, even if it's unfair to someone else. So I do the same sort of thing ("work this one out yourselves, but if you can't here's my solution, which you might not like"). They know how to compromise, but they don't want to give anything up that might mean their brother gets something they they don't have.(KWIM?) It's a struggle to get them to use their manners, and rationality.
Sometimes I just have to sep. them, or give them jobs to do (which cures the "I'm bored" complaint quickly).

 

I have twin boys who fight non-stop! No advice other than to stop the fight/argument if it gets out of hand. I have to separate mine quite frequently. One on one couch and another on the other.

 

Mine fight a lot too. It's usually over nonsense annoying stuff. One is chewing too loud, the other is chomping her food or turning the page too loud. Really, dumb stupid stuff. I hate it. I tell them if they can't be nice to one another, then they will be quiet. Maybe I should separate them more than I do. I think I will give that a shot.

 

My boys go through periods of non-stop fighting too. I once asked a friend of mine, who is an identical twin himself, when I can expect my twins to stop fighting. This guy is a very nice, smart, easy-going, professional, who also happens to be really close to his twin brother, and I could never imagine him fighting with anyone, let alone with his brother who is his best friend. Well, apparently he and his brother used to fight constantly as kids and it got worse and worse as they got older. It was knock-down, drag-out fighting and his brother sent him to the emergency room at least twice! The last time they fought was when they were 17 years old when he ended up with broken bones! Yikes!

Sorry I don't have any advice for you. The bad new is, I guess the fighting doesn't really stop until they leave the house. The good news is, despite all the fighting they could end up with a very close, supportive relationship with each other as adults. Sorry my answer doesn't really help you.