Help! My 3 year old is regressing!

I am 34 weeks preggo and have had an uneventful pregnancy to this point. I have really been counting on my DH lately to help with our 3 yr old son because I am so tired and getting huge and still work full time. He has been doing a great jobh and giving me time to nap and relax when possible.

My problem is that my 3 yr old who has been potty trained for a year has started to pee his pants again (3 times today) and have horrible meltdowns like he has never had before. I am so exhausted mentally and physically that I almost don't know what to do to try to discipline and be consistent like I would if I had the energy. Even picking him up to place him in time out gives me BH.

I am terrified that this is only going to get worse once the twins arrive and am not used to having my son act like a monster child. Has anyone else experienced this regression? Any ideas? I have been trying to pay special attention to him and my DH and he have been spending special daddy/son time together, but I think he is a little jealous of the babies already. He sees us setting up the nursery and hears us talking about the babies and I think he is confused. We had a discussion about the fact that big boys don't pee their pants or wear diapers, only babies do and he told me "but I am a baby Mommy!"

Help! I want to nip this in the bud, but I can barely make it through the day now when he is being amazingly good! :rotflmbo:

 

my 3.5 year old tells me storys about.. "Remember when i grew in your tummy mommy and i was a baby..? I am a baby. I dont want to be big."
Her tantrums have gotten a lot worse.. but i am a SAHM.. There is nothing that i can really do other than take her somewhere to get attention from someone else...

My DD isnt going potty in her pants again.. but i totally understand where you are comming from.. and i do not have any advise because i am going nuts myself!!!

:hug99: 's for you!!

 

First let me say :hug99: to you, and yes, this too shall pass. My 3 year old had a couple days last week where he wet his pants 2 or 3 times a day, and he's been potty trained well over a year as well. I think he was extra tired and didn't feel well. So, could that possibly be playing a hand into this behavior for you? I think the 3 year old thing with my boy is way worse than the 2 year old thing was. The whining and tantrums are worse, anyway. Maybe you're just dealing with that and not regression.

I just say that mostly so you don't feel so bad. Mommy guilt over their negative behavior isn't good for anyone, though it's awfully hard not to get. When you're feeling bad for them because you think there's sad feelings on their part, it's pretty easy to coddle rather than parent. I'm not saying you're doing this, I'm saying that often parents do this (it's pretty hard not to fall into the trap).

I'll tell you that everytime my ds gets whiny or doesn't listen to me, my dh says it's still due to the fact that I let most things go when I was pregnant and during those first 3 or 4 months. Of course I want to blame it on the stage he's in, but it probably is affected by my lapse in parenting. He's still a good kid, but he's more work than the girls are/were.

 

I don't have advice, but can tell you what we have been doing with our son who is almost 3.

We really try and make him apart of the process. If we are putting something together try and have him help, even if it's just throwing out the boxes or putting the plastic in the trash, handing daddy the screws.

When getting the babies clothes or items, we make sure we get him things too, hot wheels, or a new tshirt... so he doesn't feel left out.

Not saying this things will make it better but I know it's been helping us.

As for disipline I've been on limitied activity since the begining and now of strict bedrest so we have family caring for him and doing the disipline.

good luck...

 

I think age 3 has been much worse than the terrible twos. Check out the 1-5 forum to see the many complaints about 3 year olds.

I would honestly prepare for your son to regress with potty training. It will be much less stressful if you plan on it. He's already insisting that he is still a baby. It ma get worse when the siblings show up.

 

Hey,
my boys, albeit being twins and therefore already having a sibling, are regressing as well. Ollie more noticeably, because he was the "faster" twin. He has been fully trained for a long time now and he too has started to wee in again (last week 4 times). He also throws the biggest tantrums, as if he was 2 and he hadn't been doing this for years!
Alex I think is less affected because he is a little dreamer and the notion of "new baby" hasn't reached him yet (although baby should be here by now!). But he has been very much wanting to be carried around although I haven't been doing that for a long time.
I thought to do an approach to accept the baby before it is here, by talking a lot about the changes, we washed the baby clothes together, we have the new pushchair standing in our living room, so that the boys can get used to the kiddie board (thank heavens for slim boys because if they were only an inch wider, they would probably not fit on there in two!), we talk about how a family of 5 will be like, instead of a family of 4, we discuss possible names; but my brother thinks I should have had a shock therapy approach (not much talk about the baby until it is here).
I am overdue now and honestly every minute is hard enough without having to change Oliver 3 times a day or have a crying Alex hanging to my leg, so I am really begging my doctors to induce me, because as bad as it will be, being the heaviest human being since the elephant man is not making this any easier!
Millie

 

No real advice, but just wanted to empathize -- my twins were born 3 weeks ago, and honestly they're *easy* compared to my 3-year-old's behavior right now!! I know she's going through major adjustment, but egad -- the attitude, the tantrums, the hateful behavior -- it's about to send me over the edge. (Thankfully we haven't had potty regression -- yet.)

I bought the book 1-2-3 Magic years ago, but never read it because we never needed it....now we sorely need it, but I don't have time to read, LOL. So, I checked out both DVD's from the library, and we're going to start using this discipline method this week. It makes a lot of sense, so I hope it works for us....

Good luck -- I know exactly how TOUGH the end of twin pregnancy is, when you're also dealing with a 3-year-old....

 

My oldest son is 3 and was doing the same thing for a couple of weeks. I was getting so frusterated with the whole situation. I asked my doctor when I went in for an appt. and she said that he may be getting jealous of the babbies to come. I try to get him more involved and helping (doesn't always work). I have my husband take him on outings, which is kind of difficult at times too. I also tell him that if he is really good and does'nt have any accidents for such a period of time I will buy him something little. He has an occasional time when he doesn't make it on time, but not like before. I'm not as far along as you, but I hope this helps. Potty training is one of my least favorite things to do! You will get through it.

 

Its normal, thats all I can say. My 4 year old started pooping her pants and having scary meltdowns. It got so bad we are seeing a therapist!!! The doctors say it will pass!

Hang in there!!

Rachel


QUOTE(nattyboo @ Jun 30 2007, 10:59 PM) [snapback]313191[/snapback]
I am 34 weeks preggo and have had an uneventful pregnancy to this point. I have really been counting on my DH lately to help with our 3 yr old son because I am so tired and getting huge and still work full time. He has been doing a great jobh and giving me time to nap and relax when possible.

My problem is that my 3 yr old who has been potty trained for a year has started to pee his pants again (3 times today) and have horrible meltdowns like he has never had before. I am so exhausted mentally and physically that I almost don't know what to do to try to discipline and be consistent like I would if I had the energy. Even picking him up to place him in time out gives me BH.

I am terrified that this is only going to get worse once the twins arrive and am not used to having my son act like a monster child. Has anyone else experienced this regression? Any ideas? I have been trying to pay special attention to him and my DH and he have been spending special daddy/son time together, but I think he is a little jealous of the babies already. He sees us setting up the nursery and hears us talking about the babies and I think he is confused. We had a discussion about the fact that big boys don't pee their pants or wear diapers, only babies do and he told me "but I am a baby Mommy!"

Help! I want to nip this in the bud, but I can barely make it through the day now when he is being amazingly good! :rotflmbo:

 

I-2-3 magic is MAGIC!! I learned it when I worked for the YMCA. And I could handle 31 kids (Grades 1-6) all by myself thanks to 1-2-3 magic. LOVED IT! But it doesnt work as well on 3-4 year olds.At least not mine!!! But its still a good tool and helps.





QUOTE(Becca34 @ Jul 2 2007, 10:36 AM) [snapback]314352[/snapback]
No real advice, but just wanted to empathize -- my twins were born 3 weeks ago, and honestly they're *easy* compared to my 3-year-old's behavior right now!! I know she's going through major adjustment, but egad -- the attitude, the tantrums, the hateful behavior -- it's about to send me over the edge. (Thankfully we haven't had potty regression -- yet.)

I bought the book 1-2-3 Magic years ago, but never read it because we never needed it....now we sorely need it, but I don't have time to read, LOL. So, I checked out both DVD's from the library, and we're going to start using this discipline method this week. It makes a lot of sense, so I hope it works for us....

Good luck -- I know exactly how TOUGH the end of twin pregnancy is, when you're also dealing with a 3-year-old....

 

Gregory was 16 months old when the twins were born... so he was not potty trained yet. But he did regress in other ways early on. For example, we had him off the binky. But he started again once the twins were born... still has it... :blink: Do expect regression to come and go like waves.

As for the potty training regression specifically, Gregory also did this (later) in another "wave." I took him back to the babies' room and said, "OK put the diaper on baby Gregory!" (while smiling ) And I pulled out the smallest diaper we had leftover. Of course it was too small for him, and so I was able to convince him that while he WAS still my Baby Gregory and my first baby, he was not a new baby. I will never forget that when he tried to put it on, his shoulders sagged and he said, "oh no Mommy... it is too small..." he was so disappointed. But it helped open his eyes to the reality of growing up just a little bit. If that doesn't work, continue with other baby items like the baby sized bath tub, baby clothes... keep going until he gets it.

Have you seen the Barney show about where they welcome a new baby into the world with one child as a big bro/ sis? I do not remember the name of it. But that helped us out. It also taught Gregory how to be gentle with the babies and other young "big" bro/ sis behaviors that are acceptable. When Gregory tells me he is a baby too, which he still does, I tell him, "yes you are my first baby, and you always will be," and give him big tickles and smooches, and cuddle him like a baby. There are also certain stages children go through that I have read about when they want to please you. When he hits that, take advantage and tell him you need help with things, little things like getting a diaper for you orputting a book back in the shelf. Even now, maybe you can simplify the situation for him and tell him you are tired, and need help. He can bring you little things, read with you, etc. Gregory now really likes to vacuum (with the accessory hose) when we have a spill or something. It makes him feel important, especially when I thank him profusely.

Once the babies arrive, have him teach them to crawl, and how to use certain toys. He gets to act like a baby... which was fun for Gregory sometimes.

It is a scary thing to become a big bro/ sis. You'll get through it. SOunds like you are already on your way with your DH's help. He sounds great. Good luck!! And try to enjoy it rather than stress about it. That is what saves me... seeing the baby in my babies. They are so innocent and beautiful to watch grow up. :wub: