Help me decide which twin to take on a trip

I have plane tickets for me and one child to fly from Denver to Pittsburgh in early October, when the girls are 22 months old. The other child will stay home with DH. The problem is that I can't decide which one to take!

Amy is very verbal, more cooperative, better at following directions, and better at hanging on when I carry her. But she's also a little more shy and easily frightened, more restless, and has more tantrums (though not a ton).

Sarah is more mellow, more accepting of strangers and new situations, and more willing to sit still. But she barely talks at all, only follows directions when she feels like it, and does the "go limp" thing when she doesn't want to do something. She's also whining a lot these days (I think because she's frustrated at not being able to communicate).

They are both good sleepers, although they've never slept away from home, so that's a big unknown.

So, I'm leaning towards taking Amy, because I think she'll be a better traveler. (The plane ticket is actually in Sarah's name, but I assume that doesn't matter, since they don't check ID on toddlers.) But I'm not sure whether Sarah's ability to sit still, versus Amy's fidgety-ness, would outweigh the other factors.

If you've read this far, please share your advice!

 

As far as moving from terminal to terminal or from terminal to car etc, I would say, get an umbrella stroller or a back pack or a chair that straps onto your carry-on rolling luggage.

The most frustrating part of flying IMO is not getting the kids from one place to another, it's the actual air time and how to keep them happily occupied in the seat next to me. for this reason, I would take Sarah because she seems by your description probly more willing to sit and read books or play quietly in her seat for a long period of time... As far as getting her from car to terminal, I would have her ride in/on something. I would also bribe her with cookies or something like that if she starts to go limp on you....

but I understand why you'd want to take Amy. if she can follow directions, couldn't you practice with her learning to sit still for longer periods of time. Like confine her to a blanket with a few toys and train her to stay on the blanket for say 20-30 min at the time. and what if you brought a DVD player for her to use? if you give her a window seat, maybe she would handle the travel better than if you have an aisle seat.

My other question is, if you bought 2 plane tickets, why not have DH come too? Then all could come, b/c don't the airlines allow each person to hold a baby in your lap as long as they are under 2 yr old? you could sit in the same row across the aisle from each other and there would be enough oxygen masks that way, and you could pass kids back and forth across the aisle.

 

I have no clue who I would take if I was in your situation. My girls are similar personalities. Bea is more cooperative, follows directions, more verbal, also more physically able (Ainsley can't really walk longer distances and keep up). But she also tends to get overwhelmed by strangers or lots of commotion and can throw huge tantrums. Ainsley is more laid back and mellow and actually seems to enjoy commotion and meeting people. She also has no problem just sitting there and playing with toys. But she can be super non-cooperative and dawdles and is less verbal.

Is there any way everyone can go? It would be great bonding time with each parent though.

 

I know it seems silly to not have DH come when we paid for two tickets, but it's really not an option. For one thing, I don't feel the lap child thing is really safe. I also can't imagine spending that much time with a squirmy 24-lb toddler on my lap. I'd do it if I had to, and I know many people here have (my hat's off to you!), but if we had intended for all 4 of us to go, we would have bought 4 tickets.

I'm also looking forward to the one-on-one bonding. Being solo with one child seems easier in many ways than having two parents and two kids. I'm really psyched for a whole weekend with just one kid to focus on. (Don't worry, whichever one doesn't get to go this time will get her chance another time.)

This may seem selfish, but I also think I'd enjoy it more with Amy. She's just more fun to experience new things with, because she notices everything and we can talk about things. But OTOH, I'm also aware that I'm sort of partial to Amy right now (at this stage), and then I feel like I should take Sarah to even the scales a bit. :unsure:

ETA: Oh yeah -- as far as logistics, I got one of those gizmos to put wheels on the carseat so you can push it like a stroller. So I guess I'll use a backpack for the luggage, unless it seems workable to push the carseat with one hand and a rolling suitcase with the other -- not crazy about that idea, though.

 

I would take the one that you are not the closest to right now. My twins love to attatch to my hubby or me for a while and then change out and be closer to the other one. It is a constant battle to be close to them both at the same time. It is like his and hers kids. I don't like that and I don't think playing favorites is good for them. I am always amazed when I make the effort to get closer to one of my kids, because they love it and accept it readily. That is the time when I find out new things about my boys and thier personalities.

 

What are you planning to do when you get there? If you are going to be visiting lots of people you might want to take Sarah instead, as it sounds like she would do better with that. Otherwise I would say take Amy.

 

QUOTE(Twin nanny @ Aug 29 2007, 06:08 PM) [snapback]385098[/snapback]
What are you planning to do when you get there? If you are going to be visiting lots of people you might want to take Sarah instead, as it sounds like she would do better with that. Otherwise I would say take Amy.

That's a good point. I have a lot of visiting to pack into 2-3 days, and they've never met any of the people (except my parents) before. Amy would probably spend the entire weekend with her face buried in my leg.

 

Gosh, I can't IMAGINE trying to make this decision, either.

I see your point for taking both girls, better experience, better traveling, needed bonding...

Best of luck to you in your decision. I don't dare weigh in on it. In the end, it sounds as though you'll do this again with the other girl eventually, so maybe it doesn't really matter and you may as well not feel guilty over the whole thing b/c it will even out?

Sounds like fun either way. And hey, you never know, in 6 weeks Sarah may have a language exlplosion!

 

I think it's great that you are even doing this with one child! DH and I have been total travel wimps and every time we think about flying with them, we say forget it. Besides a trip down here when they were 4 months and when we moved, our only trips have been two 4 hr car rides. We're going to go back up to MA this Christmas but will probably drive. I hope everything goes well, like someone else said, if you plan on doing it again with the other child, then I guess it will all even out.

 

As far as luggage, you could always ship the clothes to Pittsburg. It might be easier to have one less thing to think about. I dont know how much it would cost, but it would only be for a weekend!!

 

This may be an opportunity for Amy to become more verbal. She may not lagging behind because Sarah is so verbal that she is intimidated. I would also take the one I was less partial too! May increase the bond. I also hope that Daddy has something planned that is very special for the one staying home. I am sorry, but this sounds like to me like the favourite child may be getting a bonus. I think it is very, very important in these most critical formative years that the playing fields are fair. These kids understand much more that we think and you don't want either of them to think they are second best.

Just food for thought

 

i wouldn't be able to choose.. i feel guilty when i pick one up before the other after their naps.. i would take all four of us.. sorry i'm not much help. i would also want my family to see both kids at the same time.. they are only little once. good luck!