HELP! Is this PPD?

I just dont want to do it anymore.. I feel inadequite(SP?).. It feels like its never going to end.. I feel like why did i ever have kids.. I dont feel like this everyday.. Only after a rough nite.. But sometimes even when it isnt a rough nite i get like this during the day...
Right now i just want to cry.. DH's answer when i tell him that id ont know if i can do it anymore is "why dont we find some one to Adopt them".. I really dont think he means it though...
Let me go and cry for a min.. I think i will feel better after that!

 

I think I am developing some sort of depression, too-- maybe PPD. I just recently started feeling very similarly. I love my babies, but I am just sooo exhausted and I stress about how I am going to get the bare necessities accomplished, let alone anything extra. I feel like I can't please them and they just whine all day. Then I worry that they'll be grown up before I know it and I will wish I spent more time "in the moment"... which only stresses me out more.

Hopefully it makes you feel better to know that you're not alone... I just wish I had something to offer to help you. :hug99:

 

:hug99: Honey I promise things will get better. I remember feeling exactly like that, like I just couldn't do it one more day. If you are feeling really depressed you should call your doctor,PPD is serious and it needs to be addressed. A lot of it is just the stress of having two little babies. You are doing an excellent job, having the ability to care for twins is totally underrated. It is an incredibly hard job. I know you have another little one to care for also and I had a hard time with just the twins. A little bit of really good sleep can do wonders right now, I would try and get DH or somebody to come give you a little relief. I always felt a little bit more ready to face the challenge after a good meal and a little rest. You absolutely have to take care of yourself! I promise things will get better soon, it always seemed like just when I couldn't take it anymore things would get a little better. Hang in there sweetie if things didn't get better none of us would still be here because nobody can do what you are doing right now for long. :hug99:

 

Hi Ashley,

Been there - felt that. My DD and DS are 4.5months now and I still feel that way every once in a while. I remember the first night we had them home, DH and I were standing out on our front porch at all hours of the night because it was the only place they would stop screaming, we looked at eachother and said, "isn't there somewhere we can take them were they will watch them for us until we are ready to handle this?"

You are in the thick of it right now and it does get better. I am still waiting for it to get even easier, but it is much more enjoyable right now at this age. DH and I repeatedly asked eachother..."what have we done???". I am not ashamed to admit that and I think your feelings are completely natural.

I really don't have much advice for you except try not to think too much at this point about either the past or the future. Just take each minute as it comes and know that you are not alone and it will not be the way it is right now forever.

Amy

 

I know the feeling trust me!! My guys were in the NICU for 9 weeks. I ended up feeling this way AFTER they came home, so I do not think that this was PPD. My problem was I was just so very tired!!! I get grumpy and upset when I am tired. DO you think that it could be that? My DH argued a lot during this time too which made things that much worse.

I PROMISE it gets so much better!!!

:hug99:

 

QUOTE(Ericka B @ Oct 15 2007, 03:06 PM) [snapback]450952[/snapback]
:hug99: Honey I promise things will get better. I remember feeling exactly like that, like I just couldn't do it one more day. If you are feeling really depressed you should call your doctor,PPD is serious and it needs to be addressed. A lot of it is just the stress of having two little babies. You are doing an excellent job, having the ability to care for twins is totally underrated. It is an incredibly hard job. I know you have another little one to care for also and I had a hard time with just the twins. A little bit of really good sleep can do wonders right now, I would try and get DH or somebody to come give you a little relief. I always felt a little bit more ready to face the challenge after a good meal and a little rest. You absolutely have to take care of yourself! I promise things will get better soon, it always seemed like just when I couldn't take it anymore things would get a little better. Hang in there sweetie if things didn't get better none of us would still be here because nobody can do what you are doing right now for long. :hug99:


This is a great post. Everything I would like to say done so eloquently. Also I had a lot of feelings of anxiety. Like what could I have done today that will make tomorrow a better day (thinking this in the middle of the night). What kind of feeding schedule, sleeping schedule,etc...It does get better, just it seems like slow motion when you are in the thick of it.

:hug99:

 

Ashley :hug99:

My advice is to call your doctor and let him/her determine if you are depressed. You are in a really tough stage right now, we had lots of fussiness around that time. It was hard! But please, don't discount the way you are feeling simply because you are a momma of twins! Many people develop PPD after giving birth and some of us need help to dig ourselves out of it. Call your doc. :hug99:

ETA...we also have a new mental health forum here at TS. If you would like the password, please PM me.

 

first of all :hug99:

it may be PPD - you should call your dr. - they can treat you for that - you don't have to suffer. I had PPD really bad after my 3rd son was born and felt stupid for calling the dr. so I didn't for several months - it was awful - I cried and cried - after I got some help the sun came out again and things were so much better!

but it may also be stress. As much as I love my babies and would do it all over again, they have been the most challenging thing I have EVER done! I felt the same way you do esp. when
the girls were newborn - I seemed to do better if I got out of the house for at least a few minutes every day - if to do nothing but walk around the block. some days I still feel overwhelmed - my DH is NO help and he would make comments like the adoption one too - that's not what you need to hear. you are a GREAT mother and person
and it shows in each one of your sweet children!

 

Hello,

I felt the same, my babies born at 33 weeks, and I have a two year old to care for and with an awful c-section to recover from, and pumping issues, I was totally overwhelmed. I would cry from sheer exhaustion. I would sit there pumping with two babies screaming and a two year old pouting on the floor because I wouldn't play catch with her and I would break down. I had to lock myself in the bedroom twice just to count to five and take a few breaths and then enter the world of chaos again, but even that little break helped. Try to get breaks whenever you can. But let me tell you that even after surviving 2months hospital bedrest (no sleep), 24 days NICU, reflux issues, sleeping issues, colic, feeding issues, developmental concerns, it has now gotten better! It does get better, you think it won't and just when you think you can't handle it God swoops in and makes it better. Just try to allow the time to pass a little in these first few months and it will get better. My babies born too early took a little longer and at almost 6 months and can finally say that I enjoy them fully. ( I was always delighted to have them, its not the babies that are difficult, it is the situation. Try to remember that the babies are just doing what babies do, they are not trying to make life difficult, it is just the hard times and circumstances that you can vent towards). It does get better though. Good luck!

 

QUOTE(AshleyLD @ Oct 15 2007, 10:15 AM) [snapback]450864[/snapback]
I just dont want to do it anymore.. I feel inadequite(SP?).. It feels like its never going to end.. I feel like why did i ever have kids.. I dont feel like this everyday.. Only after a rough nite.. But sometimes even when it isnt a rough nite i get like this during the day...
Right now i just want to cry.. DH's answer when i tell him that id ont know if i can do it anymore is "why dont we find some one to Adopt them".. I really dont think he means it though...
Let me go and cry for a min.. I think i will feel better after that!



It sounds as if you are going through a very difficult period of adjustment right now. Twins are a lot of work. I am a clinical therapist and I work with a lot of moms with PPD (some of which feel like hurting their babies). I also had to go on medications myself for PPD after my second child was born. I felt inadequate as a mother also and felt like I couldn't handle taking care of my two babies who were born twelve months a part. I thought they would be better off without me. My husband and I are watching me for it right now because my twins are just about to be born. This is what I tell my clients. Find someone who is supportive; who will listen to you unconditionally and not judge you, Set aside me time for twenty minutes a day. It's so important to take care of yourself. You can use the 20 minutes to paint your nails, pick flowers, sit in the sun, take a bath, read. It's a time for you to do what you want to do (not do chores). Plan a date night at least once a month with your DH. Make sure you are taking steps to get adequate sleep at night. Make sure you are eating three healthy meals a day. Try to set a routine (sounds easier than it is with twins, I know). Exercise is also important. Exercise increases the endorphins in you brain which helps combat depression and makes a person feel better. And if you ever feel like hurting your babies or yourself call someone to help right away or 911. You have nothing to be ashamed of. And definitly talk to your doctor. It doesn't sound as if an antidepressant would hurt at this point. Please feel free to email me if you just want to chat [email protected]

 

Oh Ashley, I am so sorry yo are feeling depressed. :love0028: :love0028:
Twins are so hard, especially the first few months when you are so tired, when your hormones are totally out of whack, when your body is not your own, and you can feel so alone. You are not alone. We are all here for you. You may want to call your doctor, even your OB, to discuss how you are feeling.

I am sorry - hang in there. You are doing a heroic thing!

 

:hug99: It could be sleep deprivation. I know there were times with my son that I felt that way. But I don't think it would hurt to talk with someone about it. xooxxo

 

Im sorry you are going through this and I havent been there for you The first couple months are quite an adjustment. You did it before under worse circumstances and I know you can do it again. This time you have your family and a wonderful husband. (even if he makes nasty jokes....dont you adopt those babies out!!) I will try to be better about checkin up on you, it is hard to go at it "almost alone"...but youre strong and you can do it!!!

Kisses

 

Hi,

I just wanted to say simply, yes, it sounds like PPD. Yes, twins are very stressful and maybe even depression inducing in and of themselves! But, you can add PPD to it and it's totally unmanageable. Please call your doc to be evaluated sooner than later.

You are brave, wonderful and totally qualified. Don't worry just take some action.