Help! Is this just a stage they are going through?

We are having trouble at nights......

Let me start out by saying that we have never rocked the twins to sleep or let them sleep with us at night (routinely anyways). From the beginning, we would always lay them down (drowsy), but not fully asleep. We felt like it was important for them to learn to fall asleep on their own and not be dependent on us to help get them back to sleep. For the most part, this goes for nightime as well (if they happen to wake up). However, if they are sick or teething, they always have a hard time going back to sleep at night. During those times, I will usually go in and rock them for a little bit...just comfort them a little until they settle down and then put them back in their cribs. On occassion, if it's a really bad night (they have been up for hours or waking on and off for hours), we would take them in our room, let them fall asleep and then take them back to bed. We only would do this truly on occassion (only a handful of times). I hated doing it because I was afraid that would start a habit of them wanting to sleep with us, but always the next night everything was fine and we were back to our usually routine. It never seemed to become a habit......until recently.

The problem has started this week. Both (DS and DD) are cutting teeth PLUS are sick. Neither one are sleeping really well (waking up often and crying for awhile). The last 2 nights the only way to get DS to calm down is to take him into our room. I mean, he screams and cries and carries on and the minute we walk into our room he stops. Now I know he doesn't feel good, but I also feel like he is playing us. What would you do? At 3 AM, I am not doing much rational thinking rather just trying to get him to go back to sleep the fastest way possible. 4 nights with no sleep is getting to me. If it is just a phase, then I can handle it, but I am so afraid we are creating a bad habit here. So what do you all think? Should we nip this in the bud now (despite the sleepless nights and them not feeling well) or do you think it is just a phase due to the teething and will soon pass?

Do you ever let them sleep with you??????

 

If they consistently sleep without you then I wouldn't worry too much and just do whatever is best for everyone at the time. Had Elliot with me last night as he vomited and wasn't well. But I know he will be fine and won't need me in a couple of nights and things will be back to normal. Its difficult when they are ill but if it means taking them to bed with me I do so. They always return to sleeping through again.

 

I would do what needs to be done (i.e. everyone gets some sleep) now while they are sick and teething, but once that passes go back to the old way of everyone sleeping in their own beds. It may be a rough couple of nights when you transition back to that, but it should be fine.

 

i've never ever let the girls sleep in our bed. it's a rule we decide when they were born. I have slept many a night on their floor though!

I have often thought though whent he girls are sick it woudlnt' be so bad just so we can all get some sleep!! As long as you go back to normal after they are sick, hopefully it won't become a habit!

 

I would do what you need to do. When one of my dds got her molars I had to rock her to sleep for naps and at night. This lasted two weeks, then back to normal.

 

I haven't let mine sleep with me ever :blush: I just can't do it! They have slept by themselves through every tooth and illness (I'm starting to feel guilty!), but I really don't know what the answer is for you! :hug: I might just go with the flow for a day or two more and then it's going to be hardcore for a few days!

I have a friend whose twins sleep in her bed (her Dh has opted to sleep in the other room because of it) and for me, that's just more than I can imagine. We have snuggle time in the a.m. when they get up, but that's about all I can hack!

Good luck! I hope you find the answer! :hug:

 

We generally follow the same rules at our house. Except that if I am going to let one sleep with me I usually go to the spare bedroom so that I don't bother dh and he can still attend to the other one if needed. I would say that after 4 nights if this I would be giving them some tylenol or something for the teething, send them to their own beds and try to start getting back on track.

Good luck, I know this isn't easy.

 

It is rare that we don't have a baby in our bed by 6:00 a.m. Sometimes someone wakes up at 3:30, sometimes it isn't until 5:30 - but I usually just scoop them up and bring in bed to cuddle with us. They love it, we love it, it works for us. You have to do what works for you! It is not easy to have babies (2 of them!!) sick, teething, and up at all hours. If bringing one (or both) to bed with you works and you and your DH are fine with it - don't let it bother you! :hug:

 

Never let them sleep with us, never will. And they know it ... so they'll go back to sleep. Even when being sick, sometimes I give them Tylenol, or something but honestly, it rarely happens. Guess I am lucky too.

 

YEA!!!! We had a good night! I think we might be back on track. They both slept through the night and in their own beds. WOOHOO!!

Thank you all for your comments and encouragement!

 

Hi I just wanted to share my story--to kind of round out the picture.
My twins are 4 year old.
For the first 12 months we exclusively coslept, there wasn't even a crib or a bassinette or even a pack-n-play in our house. At 12 months they got their bed, a twin mattress sized crib, and I moved them in there by laying in it when they went down at night and climbing in if they woke up in the middle of the night. I breast feed throughout the night past the time they moved into their own bed. We did a long slow wean that wound down with night feeds. To this day they still sleep together in that twin bed, now with the crib rails gone. If they wake up early in the morning (we get up at 7) they are more than welcome to come into bed with me during the week and with DH and me on the weekends.
After their evening snack and teeth brushing, they get two stories then get tucked in, kissed and go and go to sleep. They usually fall to sleep within minutes if not instantly, I know because there isn't a door on their room and my clothes are in the closet in there. I never once left them to CIO. I was extremely tired during their second year of life, when I went back to work and was still waking up at least once a night. But now, they have no sleep issues at all. I did not create any bad sleep habits. Now I do feel like they want mommy more than I want them too, but I think that is an issue with me not with them. I have a short fuse and I'm willing to sell them if there are any takers, but again, that's me, I don't think they are abnormal or too dependant for 4 year olds. Those bad habits and nightmare stories people tell you will happen if they are in bed with you are mostly urban ledgends.

 

Our children have always slept with us when they need us. It has never created bad habits, they are all good sleepers and bedtime is a breeze.

When mine were sick or scared, I really felt that if they needed to be with us, then that is where they should be. We are their comfort.

Do what gets you all sleep.