Help! I want to sell my daughter ...

Ok, so Hailey is driving us up the wall. She has decided that she doesn't like sleeping all that much ... but if she does, her favorite place is in her Dad's arms. UGH. This isn't sitting well with Daddy, or Mommy. The only person who doesn't seem to be affected is Jake. And yes, they are in the same room, and the cribs are side by side, and her screaming doesn't wake him.

They both go to bed at 7pm. Jake is silent man until about 7am ... when he wakes up laughing and talking. He is a joy.

Here was Hailey last night. Went to bed at 7pm, feel asleep right away. Woke up at 1030pm. I was asleep. She was SCREAMING. Not whimpering, not whining, not even slightly crying. DH went in and picked her up to calm her down. She immediately fell asleep on his shoulder. He rocked her for a few minutes, then went to put her back in her crib, and she immediately stood up, screaming, take two! He did the same again, but about 15 minutes later he put in her crib and said "Night Night" and she just rolled over and went back to sleep.

Until 130am. Same at 1030pm. DH was back in bed by 2am and she was asleep. At 4am, she does it again. This time I go in, because I felt bad for DH. We get in the recliner, and again, she passes out. I go to put her back in her crib like 10 mins later, and she wakes up and says "Daddy Rock! Daddy Rock me!". I said "No, go back to sleep". Screaming bloody murder. I was about to pass out. DH walks in and sends me back to bed. He rocks her from 430-6am. She sleeps the whole time. He does not.

So, I know that was long. Here is the question. Do I do CIO again? I have no problem with it, and I'm not looking for advice on whether it works or not. I guess I'm just confused about whether it's just a sleep regression ... She had an ear infection about 2 weeks ago ... and finished her antibiotics this weekend ... and she had a check up after that, and her ears are clear, no cold or anything, so I don't think she is sick. No fever, good temperment during the day.

We are considering having JAke sleep in the PNP this weekend in the spare room (the kid will sleep anymore!) and just letting her scream. I'm afraid we are teaching her a bad habit by rocking her back to sleep every time she cries.

But oh god, the crying. I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep through it. And I need my sleep! A pregnant woman who can't sleep is NOT a happy mom.

Advice, please!!!

 

CIO baybee, CIO. Maybe she's having bad dreams? Check on her, make sure she's physically okay and let her cry. Hopefully she'll be back to her usual self soon.

 

We go thru this with Meara occassionnally. Two nights ago poor DH was dealing with it from 12-3, but she is sick so we cut her some slack. However at 3 he couldn't take it anymore so he came back to bed. She cried on and off for 20 minutes and then fell asleep until 7:30. Its so much harder now that they talk- "Mommy mommy out please!" "Daddy- I NEED DADDY!" etc etc. I've found that the more intervention, the more disruptive it is to her sleep. If we check on her and she is fine (when she isn't sick), and we leave her alone she usually sorts it out and falls asleep. But if we go in there and try to 'help' or 'sooth' her it actually wakes her up more.

Is Hailey getting any teeth (2 year molars)? Is this something new since the ear infection or were you dealing with this before? GL and know that you are more certainly not alone. Love DHs who get up at night!

 

Is it possible she's getting some new teeth in? Liam is just getting two in the front corners of his mouth and it seems to be more painful than the others he's gotten. He was sobbing yesterday afternoon and he has been having some sleep issues over the last couple of weeks. (Granted, some of this stems from his newfound talent of climbing out of his crib silently and dropping gently to the ground like a ninja.) Check her teeth, maybe she needs some orajel or just plain tylenol. Then, perhaps some CIO. :hug:

 

QUOTE(moski @ Feb 26 2009, 10:53 AM) [snapback]1206369[/snapback]
(Granted, some of this stems from his newfound talent of climbing out of his crib silently and dropping gently to the ground like a ninja.)


:spy: :rotflmbo:

 

QUOTE(moski @ Feb 26 2009, 10:53 AM) [snapback]1206369[/snapback]
Is it possible she's getting some new teeth in? Liam is just getting two in the front corners of his mouth and it seems to be more painful than the others he's gotten. He was sobbing yesterday afternoon and he has been having some sleep issues over the last couple of weeks. (Granted, some of this stems from his newfound talent of climbing out of his crib silently and dropping gently to the ground like a ninja.) Check her teeth, maybe she needs some orajel or just plain tylenol. Then, perhaps some CIO. :hug:


Oh my! That is too much!

We actually did give her some motrin at the 130am wake up ... and it didn't help. boo.

My reasoning for thinking it's not sick/teeth related is that she IMMEDIATELY falls asleep on one of us. So I can't imagine that pain just goes away ... DH checked her mouth the other day ... and we can't see or feel anything ...

I feel so bad ... especially for DH, because she just doesn't want me ... he's such a trooper taking care of everyone while I'm a crabby pregnant lady ... now add the no sleep to the mix ... Everyday I keep saying "Please don't leave me for a non-pregnant woman with no kids ... I promise it will get better!"

 

Erica, I would totally CIO. If nothing else is wrong with her, it sounds like she is working you all.

 

Oh Erica! You poor thing and poor DH!

I think that little Hailey is testing you guys.

As for teeth, I remember Katherine being miserable and there was no sign of teeth until they popped through. We couldn't feel them at all!

I'm not sure how you feel about CIO. There are so many versions of it. It might be worth a shot.

 

She could also be having dream and is scared? Just thinking out loud (and having terrible flashbacks of when Haydn was that age). It took us a while to figure out she was a little insecure... yes, yes on the INSIDE since there's never a sign of any insecurity on the outside (I'm sure you know what I mean ). So it could be that... and some extra love and attention before bedtime helps. Or then there's CIO if that's what gives you peace. Hang in there.

 

I have no issue with CIO. We did it when they were younger. I guess I'm just scared that there IS something else weird going on that I can't put my finger on ... and then I would feel like a jerk for letting my kid cry when something was wrong with her!

I think we will probably see what happens tonight ... and then CIO tomorrow night ... this way if it goes horribly wrong (meaning the whole house is up all night) then my parents can come relieve us so we can get some sleep during the day ...

Anne- about the dream thing. I guess I didn't think that because as soon as we get her, she is fine and goes back to sleep. But as soon as we try to put her back in her crib, she jumps out and puts her arms up and cries. And it's not even like she dislikes her crib!! At bedtime she tries to climb in and yells Night Night to us ...

Seriously, I think maybe she is trying to kill me and DH ...

 

I don't want Hailey, but can I put in a bid on Jake?

 

QUOTE(Meximeli @ Feb 26 2009, 11:35 AM) [snapback]1206457[/snapback]
I don't want Hailey, but can I put in a bid on Jake?


:lol:

I said to DH this morning "What the heck are we going to do with her??"

and real serious he turned to me and said "Sell her, and buy another Jake."

 

QUOTE(caba @ Feb 26 2009, 04:51 PM) [snapback]1206478[/snapback]
:lol:

I said to DH this morning "What the heck are we going to do with her??"

and real serious he turned to me and said "Sell her, and buy another Jake."



Lol...I laugh because mine are only two months old and we're already ready to sell Caroline to the next passing caravan full of Gypsys.
I keep telling Steffen "She's brooooken. Fiixxxx herrrrrrr!"

FWIW, Owen did the same thing your Hailey is doin'...I just let 'im CIO, but I'm a hardas*, me. GO with your gut instincts. If taking her back to the doctor for one more thorough checkup makes you feel better about letting her cry, I'd do it.

 

My oldest is 6 and still after going through a sickness - she will climb into our bed for a couple of nights. Until finally, we will tell her she will lose a priviledge if she does not stay in her own bed.

I always say it takes a day to make a bad habit and a week to undo it.

Unfortunately, for you, I think it will have to be CIO to get her to sleep again. I know when my kids are sick I pamper them and then once they are better there is a llot of crying since they still think they should be held all the time.

Good luck! I hope it does not take that long to have her sleeping again - I bet you probably 2-3 nights.

 

QUOTE
My reasoning for thinking it's not sick/teeth related is that she IMMEDIATELY falls asleep on one of us.
What position is she when she falls asleep on you/DH? For some reason teeth pain can be really exacerbated when laying down and not be quite so bad when somewhat vertical (and being snuggled by mom/dad).

 

I would absolutely CIO. I don't know how you guys are handling that without pulling your hair out. Hats of to you woman!

 

I'm for crying it out BUT warn her. Tell her at bed time, "You are going to bed and you are going to stay here until good morning time. Mommy and Daddy need to go to sleep too. If mommy and daddy don't go to sleep you will have cranky Mommy and Daddy. We are not getting up tonight." Kisses and cuddles, put her to bed. Cross your fingers and hope for the best. If it makes you feel better, give her a dose of motrin or tylenol a half hour before bed, just in case it's teething pain. Stick to your guns and don't go to her unless it sounds like you really need to. Mommy's growing cousins. That's hard work.

 

QUOTE(ehm @ Feb 26 2009, 01:10 PM) [snapback]1206505[/snapback]
What position is she when she falls asleep on you/DH? For some reason teeth pain can be really exacerbated when laying down and not be quite so bad when somewhat vertical (and being snuggled by mom/dad).

I totally agree with this for my house. About a month ago L would wake up screaming, then holler for mama. After a couple nights of this I noticed the next morning when we were playing that I could see some new teeth starting through. Those darned 2 year molars. L is finally done but now J has started waking and sure enough I found part one new molar poking through. I think "they" say the pressure/pain of new teeth feels greater when laying down and isn't as bad when upright.

 

QUOTE(ehm @ Feb 26 2009, 12:10 PM) [snapback]1206505[/snapback]
What position is she when she falls asleep on you/DH? For some reason teeth pain can be really exacerbated when laying down and not be quite so bad when somewhat vertical (and being snuggled by mom/dad).



QUOTE(snoopytwins @ Feb 26 2009, 12:55 PM) [snapback]1206586[/snapback]
I totally agree with this for my house. About a month ago L would wake up screaming, then holler for mama. After a couple nights of this I noticed the next morning when we were playing that I could see some new teeth starting through. Those darned 2 year molars. L is finally done but now J has started waking and sure enough I found part one new molar poking through. I think "they" say the pressure/pain of new teeth feels greater when laying down and isn't as bad when upright.


Crap. I guess that could be it. I don't really know. When we pick her up she sleeps over our shoulder, so she definitely is in a more upright position. So now I don't know what the heck to do! So far, we haven't seen anything in the mouth ...

 

QUOTE(caba @ Feb 26 2009, 01:01 PM) [snapback]1206596[/snapback]
Crap. I guess that could be it. I don't really know. When we pick her up she sleeps over our shoulder, so she definitely is in a more upright position. So now I don't know what the heck to do! So far, we haven't seen anything in the mouth ...


Maybe motrin 1/2 hour before bed to stay ahead of the pain and keep her from waking up?

 

Based on what I read... about her falling asleep right away and waking when you put her down... I dont think anything is wrong with her. My DD did the same thing and she is still doing it at 2 and a half. Now, I would suggest putting her down and if she wakes and starts crying, try telling her "Mommy/Daddy is here" and just pat/rub her back and see if she will settle, rather than working herself back up. My DD has finally started allowing me to just rub her back instead of holding her... but I instilled this in her b/c I always rocked her to sleep when she was younger. She is not in a crib anymore and now she just wakes up at night and comes into my bed..Im too tired to care, and I let her sleep w/ me when she comes in. (this is going to be a problem when we move back in w/ daddy..we're working on things)

 

CIO for sure..she is going to continue with wanting to be rocked until you break her of it. My kids really did not sleep consistantly through the night until closer to their second bday. I had to do a short time of CIO around 18 months or so because the waking was ridiculous and I wasn't even rocking them. They would scream until I came in which built up to many, many times a night.
Oh, forgot to add, if it is the molars we did Highland's teething tablets and Tylenol or Motrin before bed...worked great. GL!

 

QUOTE(caba @ Feb 26 2009, 02:01 PM) [snapback]1206596[/snapback]
Crap. I guess that could be it. I don't really know. When we pick her up she sleeps over our shoulder, so she definitely is in a more upright position. So now I don't know what the heck to do! So far, we haven't seen anything in the mouth ...



Our DD just went through this. At first we couldn't figure it out.....she would do the same thing. Cry and the minute we went in and picked her up she would be fine (would fall back to sleep while being held). The minute we laid her down....screaming. Several days of this occurred. At first, we thought she was just playing us because she had just gotten over a cold. We eventually started giving her motrin and oragel and bedtime thinking that it might be teething. Not that we really knew, but it made us feel better that we were doing something for pain in case she was in fact having pain. Eventually (about 5 days or so later) we noticed she was in fact getting molars in.

It's a hard call. You just have to go with your gut. Maybe try oragel and motrin for tonight and see how she does. After we give something for pain, then we do controlled crying. That is just what works for us.

 

I haven't read all the posts, so sorry if I repeat. One of my boys did this. It always went in spurts. Sometimes it was 3-5 nights in a row, other times it was just one random night. We could go weeks or months between "episodes". I don't know for certain, but as he got older and was better able to communicate, I think I figured out the problem and it was bad dreams.

He would wake up screaming from the bad dreams and calm down as soon as we came in and held him. However, if we just came in and reassured him without picking him up, he would continue screaming. I think the problem was he remembered his dream, or at least remembered that he had a scary dream, and he was afraid to go back to sleep on his own. That was why he could sleep once we (I) was holding him. He did outgrow this. He just turned three last month. He will still awaken screaming bloody murder, but now my DH can go in, reassure him, and he goes back to sleep on his own. I don't even have to go anymore.

Good luck with the whole situation. It's so frustrating when these things come up and you just don't have a clue about what's going on!

 

Thanks guys ... lots of good suggestions. We have been giving Mortin before bed for a few nights. I hate medicating for no reason, but I feel like I gotta try something! It's a crap-shoot. Sometimes she sleeps through, sometimes not.

I think the most frustrating thing for us is that my kids starting STTN at 4.5 months. And it was 7am-7pm relatively consistently ... Always from him ... usually from her ... but even when she didn't, it was 7pm-6am ... she never woke up mid-night, just woke up earlier in the morning than I would have liked.

So I guess I'm just a crabby mom who is used to getting her sleep and doesn't know what to do with her daughter ... because we both have to go to work tomorrow, we probably won't do CIO tonight ... just motrin and a whole lot of crossed fingers.

 

QUOTE(Neumsy @ Feb 26 2009, 05:00 PM) [snapback]1206488[/snapback]
Lol...I laugh because mine are only two months old and we're already ready to sell Caroline to the next passing caravan full of Gypsys.


Some just left our town last night, maybe they're headed south.Lol.


I'll trade you for my 13yr old dd. I'd rather deal with crying then these teenage hormones

 

We got our 2 year molars early, so it could be that.

But more than likely I would CIO. We have gone through many sleep phases where we have had to retrain and do a modified CIO. My kids were sleeping through the night at like 3 months and did so until they were almost 2. Then we started having these "different" sleep phases. In every case we would do CIO or a modified version. Worked like a charm until the next "sleep phase!"

Good luck.

 

QUOTE(caba @ Feb 26 2009, 02:09 PM) [snapback]1206717[/snapback]
Thanks guys ... lots of good suggestions. We have been giving Mortin before bed for a few nights. I hate medicating for no reason, but I feel like I gotta try something! It's a crap-shoot. Sometimes she sleeps through, sometimes not.

I think the most frustrating thing for us is that my kids starting STTN at 4.5 months. And it was 7am-7pm relatively consistently ... Always from him ... usually from her ... but even when she didn't, it was 7pm-6am ... she never woke up mid-night, just woke up earlier in the morning than I would have liked.

So I guess I'm just a crabby mom who is used to getting her sleep and doesn't know what to do with her daughter ... because we both have to go to work tomorrow, we probably won't do CIO tonight ... just motrin and a whole lot of crossed fingers.


I have always had such great sleepers and I can relate soo much to this. I got soo used to it that a couple nights of even waking once was close to torture for me (just because I wasn't used to it). I used to think it was going to go on forever and I would never get my good sleeper back but for me it was always teeth. My great sleepers have always returned (they are 7 now) once the teeth have cut.

I am sorry if you think I am harping on the teeth thing, it is just that I can see soo much of my experience in your posts. Good luck tonight!

 

one thing i do when they wake up crying and they want to be picked up is i will lean over and hug them tell them i love you and rug there back. they are standing in the crib and i am just leaning over the railing. if they are tired they will not want to stand and with mine it only take like a minute because they know i am not picking them up. so they just lay back down and go back to bed. not sure if that would work for you but worth a shot. Good Luck!!

 

I went through this same thing with Jack and CIO!!!!! After one night he's right back on track. This happens every couple months, I have a bad habbit of going to get him (while I'm half asleep) and bringing him back to bed with us, that starts another five days of him waking up during the night until I let him CIO again.

 

My Taylor does this frequently. She wakes up screaming bloody murder. I go in and pick her up calm her down and lay her back down. But if she goes on and on I tend to just let her cry. I am not sure why she does this but has done it since she was a baby.

 

QUOTE(Neumsy @ Feb 26 2009, 12:00 PM) [snapback]1206488[/snapback]
Lol...I laugh because mine are only two months old and we're already ready to sell Caroline to the next passing caravan full of Gypsys.


Okay, I am so glad I'm not the only one that uses that line. Of course, my two are now 4 and don't want to be sold to the Gypsys (they have no idea what Gypsys are).

Erica, my Meghan used to get more wired if I gaver her Motrin at night rather than Tylenol, could that be happening with Hailey? How did she do last night?

 

Well, last night was not as bad. They went down without a peep at 7pm and we gave her Motrin ... DH and I both fell asleep around 9pm ... and then she woke up screaming at 1045pm. We waited a while ... but it was getting louder .. so DH went in and she immediately got quiet. Then about 10 minutes later he tried to put her back in her crib. More yelling ... then I hear "Water please" like 100 times. So DH takes her downstiars and gets her water ... and then SHE asks to go back to her crib. PSYCHO.

We didn't hear anything else until like 5am ... where she whimpered and whined a few minutes ... then woke up for good at 6am.

PAIN IN THE BUTT.

Tonight we are going to seperate them ... and CIO again ... She was sick last week ... so I'm guessing she picked up the bad habit with all the pampering we did of her when she was sick ... so now it's our job to re-train her. hehe.

Thanks for all your good advice ladies!! I'll keep you posted on my crazy kid ...