HELP! Daycare Nightmare!

I have not been on here in quite awhile! But when I do need help, somone or several someone has always been able to help me! I am counting on that again! Please!!!

I stayed home with the boys until they were 2 1/2 years old, then we had a young girl come to our house for a year, well about three weeks ago all this changed. She is no longer working for us and the boys now go to a daycare for the first time. I work three days a week.

Since they have started going to the daycare my boys, who will be 4 July 25, have started doing things they have never done before! This is a daycare out of a woman's home, and she is DCFS certified, and I checked with her references and everybody loves her.

Elijah has started, as in never before done this, biting. He is putting toys in his mouth, today to the point where he threw-up.

Levi has started hitting and kicking. There are two other boys there at the daycare around their age, but the lady who owns it says that she has not had a biting problem with any of the other kids that are there now. They are also just being plain bad, not listening, acting wild. The whole she-bang.

Does anyone have a similar experience? Any advise on how to STOP them from being so bad? She has them VERY active during the day, an hour of school, crafts, walks to parks, playing in a pool, just a ton of stuff. They do not kick or Elijah does not put stuff in his mouth here, and Elijah has never bit anyone. Both time it was when he was playing, once with his brother and once with another little boy at the daycare.

Please Help a seriously stressed out Mom.

Oh, and they LOVE going there, they are excited whenever it is a "going to Ms. Elizabeth day". They were not excited when the sitter came to the house, and wanted me to stay home!

What can I do!

 

I have no advice, just sending good vibes that you can fix this situation.

 

I would guess that the kids are testing your limits with this new situation. I am sure it is stressfull for them to have this change in their little lives. Consistancy, it seems, would be key. Not to mention lots of reassurance.

DS will sometimes act out on Mondays after having us all weekend, they go 3 days a week. I find that if I take more time with him when we get home to cuddle or read together, that eases the transistion a little bit. He too loves daycare, and has been going since he was 3 months old.

Getting home from daycare can be a stressful time, what can you do to ease that stress. Having stuff ready to snack on right away and pushing a full prepared dinner a little later, that is something I had to do. Sitting with them for some quiet time so they can deal with all the stimulation of daycare with all the kids there (it may be too much for them at times...need to get used to it a little bit).

Anyway, yours are older than mine, so maybe this does not help at all, but they are just a few thoughts.

 

My girls are always hyped after daycare - they go two days a week, but last year it was three days and they were (IMO) quite young to be doing that much time in care. They tend to fight more on daycare afternoons after we get home, and they cry more over little things. I think that although they love the stimulating environment, it exhausts them. Like - I don't know - going to a big work conference where you are learning heaps and trying to put on your best smile all day, wearing uncomfortable best clothes and making lots of polite conversation...you just want to let your hair down when you get home!

I agree with the previous post - you might find it helps to have diluted juice (if that's acceptable to you) and a high-carb snack ready for them the moment you all get home. My girls are often so busy playing at daycare that they forget to eat afternoon tea and they don't drink, so I always have a drink of water in the car for them and as soon as we get home they have some watered-down juice. Then, we sit and read stories right away - no chance to hurt each other if I'm sitting between them! I wait till we've been home for half an hour or so before I try and do anything round the house, including getting dinner. Also, has the daycare provider described any differences in their sleep patterns? The objects in the mouth thing sounds like it could be exhaustion - my kids will often do unusual, self-stimulatory things when they're really tired, and they don't play with objects like they normally would.

Good luck!

Cheers

 

It sounds like all of these things are occurring at daycare, not at home, right? If so, I would say that this is an adjustment period for them. They are probably very comfortable being around each other - they have learned how to negotiate playing, sharing, etc with their brother in their own home. However, now they are in someone else's home with new toys and new people. It's going to take them a little while to figure out the appropriate behaviors for their new situation. It's not so much that they are being bad, as they are testing the waters with their new friends and daycare provider. My best advice is to talk with the daycare provider openly about what she should do when one of these incidents occur. Does she use time-outs? If not, how has she handled the biting situations?

Your boys are probably very good at sharing with one another, but not with a bunch of new kids... which is why the biting may be happening. This is how my ds reacts when we go to new playgroups with kids that he is not familiar with. He gets a little territorial at first, until he is comfortable.

Your kids are older than mine, but does it work to talk with them about those things when they get home? Or in the morning before they go... remind them that biting is not acceptable and that they need to be gentle with their friends.

Transitioning to daycare is a big deal for kids. My kids were in daycare from 4-14 months and then didn't go back until they were 18 months. We still had a couple of rough weeks when they started back up, even though they had experience with daycare.

Oh and one other thought, do these incidents happen near the end of an activity or when they are about to change activities? DS had trouble transitioning between activities. When it was time to clean-up or move to another area, this is when he would get most aggressive. The teachers found that it helped him to let him know well in advance that they would be cleaning up and moving on to something new. I find that I have to do that at home too. Sometimes when they are so busy at school, moving from activity to activity, that can be a bit overwhelming. DS would just get comfortable doing something and then it would be time to switch to something new and he would get upset. So, for awhile, one of the teachers would tell DS specifically (instead of just announcing it to the group), that the activity would be ending soon and would they would be doing next. After a few weeks, they found that they didn't need to do that anymore.

HTH and that this transition period goes quickly for you and your boys!