Help! CIO didn't work!

I really, really need some help

I finally broke down last night and said I would try CIO. My normally good sleepers have not been so good latley. My DD wakes up and sings and talks for about 30 minutes to an hour and then starts to scream. So I have to wait for the screaming and then go in and give her a paci. Sometimes it takes 2 or 3 tries for her to finally fall back to sleep. And my DS will sometimes do the same or he will just wake up crying, I go in and put the paci back in and he falls back to sleep. So there is nothing 'wrong' with them, they just would not go back to sleep on their own. So I thought it would be a good time to start CIO. P.S. they have both been know to sleep 10 to 12 hours and there have been no night feeds for about 2 months.

So last night, we had a really nice evening together. Normally there is fussing and crying at bedtime, but last night they were happy. I fed them and put them to bed awake. Both of them fell asleep on their own without any fussing or crying. So I thought great, maybe they will just sleep through. WRONG! 1:30 the concert started. I waited for the fussing. It started around 2. I figured I would go in once, give them a pat and make sure theh had paci's and lovies. My DS went right to sleep. My DD spit out her paci and flung her lovie across the crib and kept fussing. So I left. She then went on to cry for an hour. There were times when they crying would start to fade and then stop for a minute or two...and then it would start again. Oh, and I did not go in the room. I thought my going in would make it worse. My DH came home at 3am (he works shifts) and asked how long she had been crying. (Keep in mind that he was the one who wanted to do CIO). I said an hour. By this time she sounded almost hysterical. So we decided to give up. I went in and gave her the paci and she went back to sleep. The craziest part of this is my DS slept through the whole thing, but woke up when the cyring stopped! I think the quite woke him. He went back to sleep on his own (thank goodness). But my DD woke up again screaming so I took her to bed with me where she finally slept.

So after this very long post, I don't know if I did something wrong or if she just wasn't ready for CIO or if I should have let her cry longer. And suggestions or advice would really be appricated. P.S. Their napping is also really erratic. One day they had 2 1.5 hour naps and 1 45 minte nap and then yesterday they only had 3 45 minute naps.

 

:hug: Sometimes it takes more than one night for CIO to work. My girls tend to get hysterical too but if I just leave them alone they work it out. It sounds like you really tried and no one likes to hear their baby cry. I would just try again, this sounds pretty normal. :hug:

 

The first night, Jake cried for 2 hours. The next night just one. It took us about a week to finally get to a good sleep.

 

It sounds to me like you aren't sure you want to do CIO. CIO is something you have to commit to 100% or it doesn't work. Really think about it and how you want to do it. I couldn't handle just leaving them to cry indefinitely so I would wait 15 min. If they were still awake I'd go in (in the dark) feel around to make sure they weren't stuck, make sure they had their loveys (we didn't do pacis but this would be the time to give it back), rub their head or back for a second, whisper night night and leave. Then wait 15 min again. Repeat over and over until they go back to sleep. Honestly, only a handful of times did any of them go past that second 15 min mark. Your babies don't know how CIO is supposed to work. You set the standard. So, if you want to go in every five minutes at first, that's fine just be consistent with what you do. If you don't go for an hour but then all of a sudden go in, it just reinforces that they have to cry that long to get what they want. Good luck!

 

At 6 months, I wasn't ready to do CIO. I waited until they were a little older and it worked beautifully. You have to be prepared to listen to the crying, because it can last a long time. I think it was 1.5 hours the first night and an hour the 2nd night. I couldn't handle listening to that at 6 months. I still felt too guilty and would cave in. I knew as they got older, they needed to learn how to sleep on their own. I was done with the binky game. You'll know when you are ready. You do have to be 100% into it, or you'll cave in and it won't work. At that age, I would go give binkies, but didn't pick them up. Good luck!

 

We just did CIO for nightwaking last week. DD cried for over an hour the first 2 nights. The 1st night she was hysterical and it was so awful. DS cried for about 15 min. both nights. The 3rd night and every night since then they haven't woken until at least 5 a.m. They go to bed at 6 pm or so, so that's a pretty good night, I think. If they wake between 5 and 6 am, I will feed them and put them back down, because I figure they might be hungry.

I went in initially when the crying started, gave pacis, patted them, etc. and left. We did go in one more time and did the same thing after about 20 min. but I don't know if it helped or not. I just wanted them to know that we were there.

We did do CIO for one night only, a few weeks ago, and it did NOT work when we just did the one night. I think if you stick with CIO, it will work! GL!

 

Hey Leppette, big :hugs: coming your way, it' SO hard to hear your babies scream and not go in! I agree with PP'S, make your decision to do it (or not) and stick with it.. be prepared for it to take a couple of weeks to click. I don't mean that it will be hysterical crying for a fortnight, it took us a couple of days for the hysterical crying to stop and then a wk or so for the crying to all but dssappear.. they still fuss if overtired now. I'm sure you have heard before but i will stress also "consistency is key" Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

It does often take more than one night & they do sometimes cry for more than an hour. Which is, of course, miserable for us as parents! CIO was one of the hardest things I ever had to do with the kids, I absolutely hate to hear them crying & know that they would stop if I just went in there. But for CIO to work, it does take 100% commitment. :hug: because I know how hard it can be!

 

I agree that it definitely takes more than one night. However, I never did the true "cio" where you don't go back in at all, I couldn't handle that. I did modified, where I go in either after 15 mins or when the crying goes from sobbing to hysterical. I waited until 10 months with my oldest ds, 8 months with my oldest dd, and I've done a very soft modified cio already with my girl twin (she's the fussier one). When I put her down if she cries I let her cry for a few mins before going back in. Sometimes she goes right to sleep, sometimes it takes going back in 4-5 times to get her calmed down.

:hug: CIO is hard but as others have said, you have to commit to doing it for several days to a week for it to work!! :hug:

 

I have to agree with others, however, looking through your old posts, were you due around March-ish? Making your twinkies not quite 6 months adjusted?

Most babies go through growth spurts at 1 week, 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months. When you adjust for prematurity - it really looks like your kiddos may be just going through a growth spurt and really may just need an extra feeding at night.

I know my girls started waking up, after sleeping through the night around 4 months, and between growth spurting, and teething, it took a little while and some nursing at night to get them sleeping through the night again, but they managed to get themselves back to it!!! Hang in there, it'll get better.