Help! Biting

My son is a biter. He gets frustrated and angry and bites his sister. She's got bruises and welts from this. I put him in time out, I make him apologize, I tell him it's wrong, but it still happens!! Any advice??

 

i would love to hear these because my son's do the same thing & i want to stop it now , they are only 18months...

 

This was one phase I thought would kill us or poor Kristina. Lauren was our biter. Not anymore thankfully. We tried every.....spanking, timeouts, many methods from supernanny to nanny 911. She laughed us off. Took about 2 years for her to outgrow. Kristina made it out with many bruises and I'm sure a fear of her sisters teeth.

Its a hard thing to stop.

 

We are going through this right now with Isabelle. They just turned 2. We have tried everything and can't seem to get it stopped! I would like to hear some ideas also. Thanks!

 

At that age, my boys bit each other too. We gave time-outs (a minute for every year of age), and repeated over and over, "No biting. Use your words." or "I understand you are frustrated, but it's not ok to bite. Ever."

In fact, we gave (and still give) time-outs for biting, hitting, pushing, kicking. At that age, they have a hard time with the impulse control. In retrospect, they know what they did was wrong, but in the moment, our son's still a bit young to stop himself. Never-the-less, it's your job to keep the rules consistent. With a year or two, he'll aquire the self-control, and then the rules you've taught him will become habit.

Feeling like a broken record is hard, but he is hearing you. Hang in there, and try to praise him when he's gentle, caring and sweet! Or when he gets mad/frustrated but doesn't bite -- praise to the rooftops for that!!

Luckily, my boys never bit anyone else. And by about 3 - 3 1/2 they grew out of it. Boy, was I glad to move past that phase!!

 

OK, you are all going to think Im awful but this is what worked with my son. All of the older folk in my family told me to bite him back...only thing that would break him. I thought that sounded hideous. then one day, he bit me really hard and I took his arm and bit him back. Guess what? he never bit again. he is 21 now and still doesnt bite (didnt cause any lasting scars either) All Im saying is, it worked for me. Now my grandtwins are biting, but if anyone bites them back...it will be their momma.........I couldnt do that to my sweet little angels :angel:

 

Oh my gosh! Brady does this to Aidan and poor Aidan has bruises all over himself from it too. I don't know how to stop it. I have put him in time out, I have tried white vinegar etc....nothing is working. HELP, HELP, HELP US SOMEONE!!! :blush:

 

QUOTE(grandmasherry @ Jun 29 2007, 10:43 PM) [snapback]312593[/snapback]
OK, you are all going to think Im awful but this is what worked with my son. All of the older folk in my family told me to bite him back...only thing that would break him. I thought that sounded hideous. then one day, he bit me really hard and I took his arm and bit him back. Guess what? he never bit again. he is 21 now and still doesnt bite (didnt cause any lasting scars either) All Im saying is, it worked for me. Now my grandtwins are biting, but if anyone bites them back...it will be their momma.........I couldnt do that to my sweet little angels :angel:


I have heard that, too. I am just reluctant to do that myself.

 

QUOTE(grandmasherry @ Jun 29 2007, 10:43 PM) [snapback]312593[/snapback]
OK, you are all going to think Im awful but this is what worked with my son. All of the older folk in my family told me to bite him back...only thing that would break him. I thought that sounded hideous. then one day, he bit me really hard and I took his arm and bit him back. Guess what? he never bit again. he is 21 now and still doesnt bite (didnt cause any lasting scars either) All Im saying is, it worked for me. Now my grandtwins are biting, but if anyone bites them back...it will be their momma.........I couldnt do that to my sweet little angels :angel:


I did it and it worked.

 

Maureen, I would look at 2 things, one, is he getting his 2 year molars, and 2 his speech development. Most kids are past the biting stage boy 2 1/2, the fact that you are saying it is due to frustration makes me think that he has trouble with his speech. Jon was the same way. Also, molars will always make a child who is likely to bite worse for the time that the molars are bothering them.

Up until we figured out what was wrong with Jonathan--he had/has an expressive speech delay (along with a Superior IQ), he would bite, kick, choke, hit--you name it. Once we found out the problem, and got him speech therapy, and preschool, the behaviors changed dramatically. Basically Jon was acting out because he couldn't find the words to tell someone when they were bothering him, or in his space.

I don't believe in biting them. Up until we figured out what was going on, we just had to be extra vigillant and distract him before he could bite. Good luck!

 

I didn't see this post before I wrote one about the same thing! I have a biter and my husband wants to do the bite them back thing, but I'm not sure. We're working on it!!

 

I cannot imagine biting my kids to "teach them a lesson" but particularly not a 13 month old. They don't know that they're doing something wrong, and even if they have a vague idea that it's undesireable, they do not have reliable self-control, so it's probably worthless anyway. Not to mention really mean.

When my kids bite, we redirect them. We tell them "we don't bite people, if you want to bite something, bite this..." and hand them a toy or something else they can bite on. It stops the biting without tantrums and helps them understand that it's not biting that is the problem - it's biting people that is the problem.

 

One of my twins started to bite a few weeks ago. I started putting her in time out in her crib for one minute (I heard one minute for each year of their age is ideal). I would also gently tap her mouth and say no biting. She hasn't been biting as much anymore.

Hope that helps!

 

My DD, Bit me 2 times.. once she bit me and i poped her in the mouth(one of the few times i smacked her) the second time... I bit her back (not hard) and asked her how she liked it... She never bit me again!

 

QUOTE(betseeee @ Jul 1 2007, 01:25 AM) [snapback]313305[/snapback]
I cannot imagine biting my kids to "teach them a lesson" but particularly not a 13 month old. They don't know that they're doing something wrong, and even if they have a vague idea that it's undesireable, they do not have reliable self-control, so it's probably worthless anyway. Not to mention really mean.

When my kids bite, we redirect them. We tell them "we don't bite people, if you want to bite something, bite this..." and hand them a toy or something else they can bite on. It stops the biting without tantrums and helps them understand that it's not biting that is the problem - it's biting people that is the problem.



I have never been mean to a child in my life. And I have never had my suggestions addressed in such a way in a twinstuff forum. I will not be returning. Of course I teach my children, when we dont agree with someone it is good to present our side, but we should respect their values and points of view.

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Jun 30 2007, 07:21 AM) [snapback]312755[/snapback]
Maureen, I would look at 2 things, one, is he getting his 2 year molars, and 2 his speech development. Most kids are past the biting stage boy 2 1/2, the fact that you are saying it is due to frustration makes me think that he has trouble with his speech. Jon was the same way. Also, molars will always make a child who is likely to bite worse for the time that the molars are bothering them.

Up until we figured out what was wrong with Jonathan--he had/has an expressive speech delay (along with a Superior IQ), he would bite, kick, choke, hit--you name it. Once we found out the problem, and got him speech therapy, and preschool, the behaviors changed dramatically. Basically Jon was acting out because he couldn't find the words to tell someone when they were bothering him, or in his space.

I don't believe in biting them. Up until we figured out what was going on, we just had to be extra vigillant and distract him before he could bite. Good luck!



Sharon, it is possible that he is getting his molars. He is actually doing well with his speech, a little bit behind Meghan, but not far. He has become better lately, so maybe that will change? I appreciate the advice, I will keep an eye on that to be sure.

 

We faced a BIG time biting problem when the boys were around 2.5yrs. They already had their 2yr molars and they were talking well. In our case, biting was used only to inflict pain and be mean to their brother.

After repeated time outs, discussions, you name it, I was fed up. I took advice from my MIL...and it worked for us. (Sorry in advance if it offends some of you). But we used soap in the mouth as punishment for biting. It put a swift end to the biting. I just put a bit of liquid soap on their lips. They hate it the taste and quickly picked up what the consequence was for the negative behavior. It worked for a 2.5yr old...not sure if it would for a younger child. They certainly aren't harmed by a little soap.

 

First of all I dont think anyone should leave. Just ignore them. This is new feature and I use it often! Secondly, we are all adults and what works for some doesnt always work for others but we DO NOT belittle or begrudge others on this board. It doesnt happen often but when it doesnt usually the offending party is one to apologize or leave. I have seen this myself.

Now to the biting.

Sara was a biter. I say was because she did it everyday, 5 times a day at least. Poor Owen was so bit up! Well she was 17 months old when I started doing time outs. She would go in the corner for 1 1/2 minutes. EVERYTIME. We were so consitent with it that it broke her. It was great because I felt like I actually accomplished something very profound. I did bite my oldest son back when he bit me and he NEVER bit me again. I felt horrible but it stopped. I never had to do it again. I would say to do timeouts. Kids of any age understand punishment. The one thing they need, I think, is consistency. Find what works for you and do it, just be consistent.

 

QUOTE(grandmasherry @ Jul 2 2007, 02:51 AM) [snapback]314199[/snapback]
I have never been mean to a child in my life. And I have never had my suggestions addressed in such a way in a twinstuff forum. I will not be returning. Of course I teach my children, when we dont agree with someone it is good to present our side, but we should respect their values and points of view.


You expressed your opinion, I expressed mine. I think hurting a child for any reason - including to teach them a lesson - is wrong. You disagree. You don't have to raise my children, and I don't have to raise yours. I'm sorry my opinion offended you so much and I'll see if I can find a more constructive way to express myself in the future.