Help - Advice Needed!

Every day between 5PM - 11PM our twin girls begin melting down.

There is near-non-stop crying, voracious hunger, and plain old general discontent.

They are pretty good during the day, napping a lot and being sweet, but at 5PM, they transform into baby werewolves.

Can any parents give us some advice? It is stressing us out - we start to get nervous as 5PM nears.

The worst part is this: they are awake from about 4-5PM to 10-11PM. They are suffering, they want to sleep, we try to sooth
them, but they are so incredibly keyed up they can't calm themselves or sit still long enough to be soothed. And they eat so
much then, most likely because it's the only thing that soothes them -- but they will take a bottle like every 30 minutes or less.
I know we're feeding them way too much, but what else can we do? The pacifier doesn't pacify and the screaming is out of this
world.

Please - we feel like bad parents because they are awake so long and obviously suffering, but we don't know what to do.

Some things you should know:

* they both hate the swings and bouncy seats
* we own both HSHHC and HBOTB
* one, if not both, our twins appears to be claustrophobic and hates swaddling
* they are bottle-fed breastmilk
* they don't sleep through the night (but you could've guessed that, right?)

Thanks in advance for any advice or information - we are starting to lose our minds.

 

We had this same problem until about 3 1/2 months. Nothing worked for us unfortunately except for time.

I did have an excercise ball that I woudl sit on and bounce them both and that seemed to work for maybe 45 minutes or so?? But not consistently.

Hang in htere!! Sorry I coudlnt' be more help.

 

This is what happens around 6 weeks (adjusted). If you have HSHHC Weissbluth writes about how their little nervous systems aren't developed and this is a really fussy time for babies. I know that doesn't help your current situation, but at least you should know that you are not alone and that it does get better. Are they gassy or reluxy? If so, talk to your pedi. If not, it might just be the witching hour(s)....

Things to try- not sure where you live, but if its not too cold you could take them for a walk (either in a carrier- if there are two people) or a stroller. My girls love being outside and they quiet down and get sleepy in their stroller. Or maybe put them in the bath as a change of scenary (at 6-7 weeks my girls didn't like the bath, but I've seen other people suggest it here so maybe it'll work for you). The other thing I did (which worked and I still don't know why), was baby dance party! I turned on some good music and danced with the girls. If I was alone I'd put one in the boppy pillow and carried the other and then switched. My hated swings and bouncers at this age too, but grew to love them. If someone else was with me (usually my sister at the time), we each took a baby and danced around! For some reason this quieted them down and they got sleepy and then took a nap.

GL and hang in there. -Leighann

ETA: Check out Happiest Baby on the Block DVD! We used a lot of those techniques too- not just swaddling, but also shushing.

 

My DS was like that. It seems the babies that fight the swaddle are the ones that need it the most, so I would stick with it!
The only things that helped my DS was swaddling and walking outside. TIme with make it better - I know that sounds hollow when every evening is really trying!!
Hang in there
Nancy

 

Totally agree with the pps. Weeks 6-8, at least for us, were incredibly difficult due to gas and all out crying. I found that a bath really helped James settle down. I also would sit with them in the glider, with their back to my stomach and hold one hand rather firmly on their tummies and rock. I had them wrapped up and used a pacifier, but since yours don't like those, that part may not work. The rocking calmed them down and my hand on their stomachs warmed up their bellies and made them relax (this helps for gas, too). It's a tough time, but you'll get through it (I promise). Good luck!!!

 

QUOTE(mandyfish3 @ Feb 18 2008, 09:44 AM) [snapback]626820[/snapback]
We had this same problem until about 3 1/2 months. Nothing worked for us unfortunately except for time.


Ditto. This was around Christmastime for us and we would walk the halls bouncy babies singing Christmas carols as loud as we could. The one thing that helped a little (I think it's from HBOtB) was the shushing and patting. The key for us though is the louder they cried the louder we shushed and firmer we patted, as they calmed down we would quiet our shushing and soften our patting to match.

Hang in there, you in the worst of it right now, it WILL get better.

 

Oh man do I feel for you! I so remember what those days were like for us--we went through the same thing from about 1-4 months. My DS loved big rocking movements (we would lay him belly down over an arm and swing him back and forth). My DD loved walking in circles and shushing. Unfortunately, it just takes time for them to grow out of this stage. We also tried getting them to go down for the night (well, for the first time) earlier in the evening...bed time for us moved from 9pm, to 8 to 7:30, to 7, to 6:30...and that really helped. ALSO...if you have this option, I highly recommend it. We had family members and/or friends come one night each week (DH's parents came every Tuesday, mine every Wed., and friends every Thursday). They brought a meal and just helped try to sooth babies for a few hours. Sometimes, you just need to walk away and take a breath when you have two screaming babies. DH and I used to run and grab groceries, go wash the car, take a little walk, etc. ANYTHING to just get out of the house sometime. If you have family/friends in the area, that was a life saver for us. Hang in there, it really does get better!

 

Have you tried white noise?

 

QUOTE(Mel G @ Feb 18 2008, 10:19 AM) [snapback]626921[/snapback]
Have you tried white noise?


Ditto on the white noise. It was the only thing that really worked for my Ben. We bought a white noise machine which worked wonders. We used the vent over the kitchen stove at first though. Once he got settled down, we would put him in the bouncy seat in the kitchen with the vent on high. It worked great! Once he was good and asleep, we'd transfer him out of the kitchen.

Good luck! It does eventually end. Ben was colicky til about 2 1/2 months adjusted age.

Cary

 

Hang in there- it will get better! I remember also dreading the 5:00pm time- the witchy hour! It only lasted for a few weeks, though, thankfully! It seems so long ago, but man, it was tough! Good luck and just keep doing what you're doing- it won't last forever (even though it feels like it!)...

 

An alternative to white noise is music. I have a baby einstien music CD my two love. I wouldplay it while they were going to sleep or fussy or sometimes all night. This seemed to help them. I also found Gripe Water. It really helped them when they wouldn't settle down. IT is worth a try. I had to walk with my DD. As long as I kept moving that helped. Or I would lay her on my stomach, with her on her stomach. I thinkthe pressure felt good to her and she would sleep there on top of my or my DH. GOod luck, it will get better.

 

Two words........................ VACUUM CLEANER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mine wouldn't swaddle or take a pacifier-- still won't. Had the EXACT same problem but mercifully- mine did go to bed at six but it was BAD and I am alone 3 nites per week!! OH BOY!

It will get better at 13 weeks ADJUSTED. Trust me.

Until then, when it's bed time-- in the cribs--- VACUUM ON IN ROOM until asleep.

I feel for you!!!!

 

:hug99: Oh, that is the worst age! It's not your fault. It's not you, it's them. It's just the witching hour, and it will get better as they get older.

Don't worry about overfeeding them. What you're describing is actually really normal. A lot of babies cluster feed at that time of day. And it's really hard to overfeed a baby - they're geniuses at eating when hungry and stopping when full. And if they get too much, it will come right back up at you!

Ditto pp - have you seen the HBOTB DVD? It's a really good demo of soothing techniques.

Sorry, I wish I had a magic bullet for you! Pps have lots of good ideas of things to try. You're dong great, hang in there, this too shall pass. :hug99:

 

Sorry you are all suffering so much. I can only ditto what pp's have said; I, too, used to dread that time of day. They definitely were cluster feeding; felt like i was CONSTANTLY nursing/bottle feeding ebm!

It WILL get better, and, mostly there is NOTHING you are doing wrong as parents. They just need to mature. Are they big spitters? All the previous suggestions are great - you mentioned they don't like swaddles; are you sure you're swaddling them tightly enough? And the shusshing DEFNITELY helped ours. I would also put on music and do dips and squats with them; for some reason that helped.

Most of all - try to get some help in; to be able to walk away even for half an hour is a huge sanity saver. I know it does't help to hear this but it really will get better. And, know what? the time will truly fly by (i know, big help,huh?) Hang in there, you are doing a great job, this is the toughest job in the world and a tough, tough age.

 

There is nothing you are doing wrong as parents, it sounds to me that you are trying everything possible! Our babies go through the same thing most nights. Usually one of them will "fight" bedtime between 8-11pm. We bathe, feed, change, swaddle, soothe, walk around and sometimes some of those things work and other times it doesn't. Then we have some nights where they are out like a light. One thing that I am finding that does work with my son when he has his "witching hour" night is to put him in the bouncer, that seems to calm him down. My daughter, some nights we just spend a couple of hours walking around with her and soothing her.
What cracks me up is that when we do the before bedtime feeding, they seem to be sound asleep afterwards and by the time we get them to their cribs, either one of them is awake or they both are.

I hope it gets better for you!