Help! 5 mo twins grumpy, or stranger anxiety?

My 5 mo twin girls tend to fuss a bit throughout the day when they are with me, but when visitors come over they always completely lose it. Even with my mother, who stayed with me for the first 12 weeks to help out, they cry whenever she picks them up or tries to play with them now. I feel so bad for her, because she loves them so much! My mother claims they are "making strange" and suggests that I need to expose them to more people, more often - but I think it is too early for that. I suspect the girls are just touchy/sensitive, and prefer the way that I interact with and hold them. Also, when visitors come over it seems like they are always waving noisy toys in their faces or bouncing them around or singing/laughing loudly at/with them - which I think just annoys and overstimulates the girls.

Oh, and there is NO WAY I can feed them when visitors are in the room, or ask a visitor to help feed them (they are completely distracted and have meltdowns)(I do both BF and bottles).

Did anyone else have this problem? It makes me wary of inviting people over or taking the girls out to meet people, which is horrible!! Will it pass?? Is there anything I can do to stop it? Thanks in advance!

 

Do you get out during the day? A trip to the grocery store, the mall, or Target. If they are used to being at home with only you all day long, then I might take your Mothers advice and try and socialize them with the world a little bit. It might pay off and help ease the overstimulation with visitors.

 

The key is to remember that the point of holding a baby is to make the baby happy--not to make the visitor happy. I would insist that visitors hold the kids the same way that you hold them--if they aren't used to rocking, buncing or whatever, then they won't like it when someone else starts off doing that. So if they like to be cuddled over your shoulder, that's what a visitor should do, while you sit next to them saying "I love you" or whatever you typically tell them. And maybe the visitor can sing the songs you sing to them in the same tone of voice you use, or whatever it is that you do with them. In the meantime, you keep telling baby "isn't it fun to have Auntie Sue visit? Auntie soon loves you just like mommy does. Is it OK if Auntie Sue cuddles you for a little longer? Do you want to play with your rattle while Auntie Sue holds you." If they are really fussy, then you hold them while encouraging them to "look at Auntie Sue, isn't it fun to see her brown hair which is so different from mommy's blonde hair? do you like Auntie Sue's purse? it's a lot bigger than mommy's, isn't it." and just keep slowly exposing them to new people who are willing to adapt to the babies' routine, rather than doing what they think is fun.

And a visitor can watch tv while you go in the other room to feed them.

 

I agree with Rachel. If you are home most of the time, getting them out & about more and exposed to more people might help socialize them a bit and make them less wary of other people.

 

Thanks everyone. I have been out for a walk with them everyday since December - even in snowstorms, as long as it's above -15 degrees Celsius - or else I'll go insane in the house! Also, I have a doula who comes 3 days a week for 4 hours to help out, and sometimes I leave them alone with her to run errands. And my own twin sister (yippee for twins - she ROCKS!!) comes over about 3 times a week for a few hours. And my MIL and stepmother have each come for about 2-3 weeks total each to help out in the early months. So they do have frequent interaction with others, and to people with different styles.

I'm just so embarrassed that they scream so much when other people hold or play with them!

Will try the suggestion of asking others to interact with them in the same way I do.

Did anyone else's babies "make strange" at 5 months?

 

One of my twins started acting like this at around the same age. She gets very upset when she is held by her someone else other than me or her father. We get out regularly too - taking stroller walks almost every day so it's not like they are never out of the house. I don't know whether exposing her to more people would help or not. However I don't think that should stop you from getting out and having other people around.

 

No advice here above and beyond the others, but wanted to say I have one twin who is definitely like that too. They'll be 6 months old next week. We're working on getting them out more now....

 

Making strange usually happens at the 9 month mark, but thats not to say it van't happen sooner. Everyone has given you excellent advice, good luck!