Heartbroken!

When we found out that we were pg, I asked my DH if we had a boy, if he would mind naming our son after my grandfather. His middle name was Julian. I want to use it as a middle name for my son, too. Well, he had agreed or so I thought. We have been over lots of names. He likes the name Brandon, because of an actor that he really liked. (Brandon Lee) I have no problem with that. I like that name. I think Brandon Julian Lenox is a really cute name. Well, the other night he asked me if we could name our daughter (b/g twins) Julie Ann instead after my grandfather. We are both inspiring writers and he is using the name Julian in his book that he is writing. I haven't read his book in a while, as he has come to a stop with it for a while, and I forgot about the characters name. (Lots of other stuff going on with buying a new house and all) I feel my reasons for using the name outweigh the reasons not to. Namely the book. I'm not crazy about the name Julie and my oldest DD's middle name is Anne. I like the name Molly Rayne Lenox (as posted in another post).

Here is my reason for wanting my grandfather's name: My grandfather had a stroke before my parents met. As far back as I can remember, he was in a nursing home, unable to say anything except "I", and in a wheel chair. He died in 1992, before any of my children were born. In fact he never met any of his grandchildren. He now has 7 with my 2 new ones on the way. No one else has named their child after him. I remember visiting him and I cherish the memories I have of that time. I use to push his chair through the gardens during the spring and summer, played board games with him, and he use to have treats for us when we would visit. I remember the joy in his eyes when he would watch us play as little children, and how special those visits were. **sniff** He is the only real grandfather I ever had, and it was too short a time. I want a part of him to live on with my son. I think it would have made him so proud to know that he has a grandson named after him.

I don't know if DH will understand and I haven't had a real chance to discuss it with him. I don't think he realizes just how much it means to me. I figured he picked a first name for our son, so I get the middle. He picked the middle name for our daughter, so I want to pick the first name. Seems fair to me. Some words of comfort would be appreciated. It makes me cry everytime I think about it. It just means so much.

Thanks for listening.

 

What beautiful memories you have of your Grandfather.

Before you get anymore upset over your DH not wanting to use the name you should definitely explain to him what you just posted. I could not imagine someone not being touched by what you have stated.

 

i really think you should sit down and talk with him (at the right moment; not just any moment)....i feel naming your kids after a family member means a lot, there is meaning behind their name! my mom passed away in 04 and ever since i have wanted to use her name some way whether i had a girl or boy! well, we have 2 boys on the way and each will be named after their grandmothers maiden name...Brantley and Clark! my dh knows how much my mom meant to me so sit down with him and share with him what you shared with us! can he not change the name in his book??? or the book be in honor of your twins and he add in your girls name into the storyline!

 

I agree, tell you DH exactly what you posted here.
The book has not yet been published, he can change the character's name. Or someday when it is published and your son is grown, DH can tell his son that he named the character after him because he was so preoccupied with his comming arrival durning the writing!

 

First of all, I agree that you should share this with your DH. Choose a time when you can sit and discuss the importance of the names in depth and not just a passing conversation. I hope he'll see your point of view.

However, with that said ... do you feel differently about the name Julia than you do about Julie? Julia is beautiful and is certainly honoring your GF Julian. You don't have to use Ann(e), many beautiful names work well with the first name Julia, Julia Rayne perhaps? Julia and Brandon make a great twin set IMO, and both names fit in nicely with your other childrens' names. Or maybe Julia would work as a middle name for another first name you like ... although I will admit that Molly Julia isn't a great flow.

Best of luck to you. And remember that you BOTH should love your childrens' names!

 

I would sit down and tell him just what you have told us. The name is important to you and he may not realize just how important it is. I think he should be able to change his character's name....

And the other thing I thought of.....for the girl.....Julianne Rayne

 

I'm sorry,I hope it works out....

 

Juliana is also a name you could use.

 

Keep working on him. It is so important to you, and that should mean something! My husband let me give my daughter the middle name Doty. (Her name is Raegan Doty.) It is my mother's maiden name, and almost all of my childhood memories involve my grandparents, aunts, and cousins from that side of the family. There was nobody to carry on the name, so I really wanted to do it.

 

Thanks for understanding. I am hoping to have a chance to sit down a really talk to him about it. We haven't had a chance yet. I guess I am waiting for the right moment. I will let you know when we have talked about it and what has been decided. I have to say though... I am not giving up without a fight. It means so much to me, and he is just going to have to respect that and be understanding.

 

I think your DH would understand if you explain it to him the way you explained it here. Him using the name in a book is no reason not to use it for your sons middle name. Don't be too upset, it sounds like this is your decision and he will understand. Stay strong.

 

Ohhh, I really like the sound of Juliana Rayne. Very pretty. I like Molly too, but after your story about your Grandfather, I'd rather have a first name after him. What was his middle name? Maybe you could use it somehow instead of Julian, although I love the name Julian too. Good luck with your talk. I'm sure he's not aware of how deeply you feel.