heartbroken

I'm so devestated...Since I've gone back to work one of my sons seems to want nothing to do with me.

I may get the occasional smile, but nothing like I used too. no more coos or laughs...

On friday when I got home, I went over to greet him and he started screaming...(he didn't recognize me)!

My dh has been staying home with them for the last month or so, and he has done such a great job. The way Christopher responds to him melts my heart, I'm thrilled for them. Please don't get me wrong, I am truly thrilled he has bonded with them., adn he really tries to understand what I'm going through...but I'm heartbroken...

I've decided to take Wednesdays off to help with this, but it doesn't seem like enough. We can't afford for me to leave my job...I spend all my free time with them, i read, sing, take baths, hold-cuddle...how can this not be enough?! i don't get upset in front of Christopher or my dh, I really don't want dh to feel bad, and I want Christopher to respond to dh...jsut want him to love me too!

I feel like my heart has been ripped open...

What do I do? Am I crazy, has this happened to anyone else...please help!

 

Rebecca,

I'm so sorry! :hug: Your little guy knows who you are!! :hug: Maybe he is just going through a daddy phase. Some babies seem to go in cycles where they prefer one parent over the other at different times. I think it is wonderful that you are going to start taking Wednesdays off - I'm sure that will make you feel better. That's 3 full days with your babies! And one day when they are crawling around and you walk in that door from work, they'll ditch your DH and come crawling super fast to you b/c they'll be so excited you are home! I know my babies (and my older DS) always go right to my DH when he gets home from work.

Hang in there. :hug:

 

Oh honey...:hug: I don't have any advice, but I do have some :hug: :hug: for you. It is normal for the child to be attached to the primary care giver more than the other parent. And since that is your husband right now, unfortunately that means he gets all the "needs". He will come around again, I promise. They go through such hard stages sometimes, and I'm so sorry this one is so incredibly difficult. My heart hurts for you! :hug:

 

I am sorry your feelings are hurt :hug:
Maybe sleep with a baby blanket, so the blanket has your scent on it. Then wrap Christopher in the blanket.

I think it is just a phase, he really loves his mom!

 

:hug: I am sorry that you are feeling so down.I bet it's just a phase and soon he will be back to hanging on you. It is only natural for babies to look to their primary caregiver for the majority of their needs. It's great that you can take an extra day off to spend with the family.

 

That does sound hard! Im sorry. Im sure going back to work is hard enough with out this too. If it helps, When Jim is in the room none of my kids wanted any thing to do with me. Jim is the favorite around here for sure. When Milo was a baby Jim was the only one that could calm him down and if Jim was in the room and I was holding Milo, Milo would fight me tell Jim picked him back up. I hope Wen. helps you.

 

When I worked I also took wednesdays off. Now I only work 2 days but Wednesdays are still my favorite day of the week!
As PP have stated its only natural for them to be attached to the primary caregiver, however with that said, its also normal for babies to be cranky, tired, frustrated etc by the end of the day.
Have you tried spending some time with the boys early in the am before you head off to work? In my experience they are always happy at the days start and go down hill from there!
Im sure he didnt forget who you are! you've already spent 9 months more with him than anyone else in his whole life has by carrying him in the womb! While you cant be there all the time, your doing a great thing for your family by making the money and filling the babies, clohting them etc.

Get your extra cuddles in when you can!!! -- Do you co-sleep or pump or babywear?? Those are all things that help moms feel closer when they have to spend time away.
Hope you feel better soon!

ETA: spelling

 

You've gotten some great suggestions so far! I wanted to add to all the hugs and tell you that my DH went through that too. He was deployed when the boys were 3-5 months and when he came home it took several days for them to give all the smiles. While he was in the desert, he videotaped himself reading books and talking to the boys. Maybe you could do this too! We watched it every day (even though they weren't always paying attention, they at least heard his voice). My DH would come home from work and say "I can't wait till they run to me when I come home". Well, by the time they could crawl, his dreams came true. It will get better and taking Wed off will be so wonderful for you!