Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child

Here's my deal...this book is a bit confusing. I am reading the section for my babies age and I feel like it says contradictory things. It's clear that CIO is not recommended at their age but then it says if they are crying in protest to a nap (rather than sadness) it's ok to leave them. Which is it?

I currently have to work extra hard to get my girls to sleep. They don't nap well unless they are being held or in their swing. Same at night, they are either in their swing or our bed. It sucks! I really want them to be able to go in their crib and nap and at night, in their co-sleeper.

I've heard that you can't spoil a baby this age or form habits but it seems we do have some habits here. How can I sleep train them if I am supposed to carry them or put them in a swing for their entire nap. That doesn't seem right.

Can they learn to sleep in their crib/co-sleeper before 6 months of age? If not, I'm basically screwed on having any sort of life because between feeding and holding for naps...I can't even find time to eat.

Help??? Anyone???

 

I'm interested in what everyone will tell you, we are in the same boat...

 

I thought that book was/is super confusing as well. When ours were that age (1-2 months) we had no semblance of any kind of schedule, just a lot of eating around the clock and little naps. I tried to "cherry-pick" stuff from the book that we actually COULD implement, such as:

1) motionless sleep. If they fell asleep in their swing, I would turn it off as soon as they were asleep. And then sometimes they would wake up so I'd turn it back on until they fell asleep again. And So On!

2) No more than 2 hours of wakefulness. I tried (and still do) to watch the clock, note the time they got up from their last nap, and make sure that I am working on getting them to sleep two hours from that time. And actually what I realized with mine is that in the early morning it is less than 2 hours, it is more like 1 hour. Which sucks because we basically have time to get up, eat, get dressed, and read one book and then its naptime already!

3) (If they are sleeping in a crib) don't rush in the second they wake up. Wait a full minute if you can.

Other things from the book we didn't implement until they were that magical three months old. Like, the super early bedtime. They were never sleeping long enough stretches until 12 weeks that we could even really think about bedtime. But the very week that they started sleeping 5-7 hour stretches (around 12 weeks), coincidentally was also the week I went back to work, and we decided to start putting them down for the night at 7 p.m.

At first, I was like "this is a stupid idea! before they were sleeping 9-4 and we were getting a decent night of sleep and now they are getting up at 3 a.m. again!"

BUT I AM HERE TO TELL YOU! Within one month they were sleeping from 6:30-7 p.m. until 6 a.m. or so. That is where we are at right now. And it is HEAVEN.

We haven't done any crying it out yet... not really anyway. Sometimes one has to cry a little while I (or my husband when he's on duty) tend to the other one.

This stuff is hard, and although there were definitely useful tips in that book, I didn't really find it to be a "step by step guide"... I remember feeling very frustrated at the stage you are at, but even just trying some of the things really made a difference.

Oh, and the other thing that helped was my babies sort of naturally on their own started "cluster feeding" in the evening... eating 4-5 oz every hour or even every half hour for a couple hours before they went down for the night. I think they started doing that when they were just under 3 months old, right around the time we started getting a LITTLE bit of a break at night. But they still do that. Every night before bed they have a good 8-10oz each over the course of about an hour. We bottlefeed (both EBM and formula), which I think also makes a difference. I don't know how my poor boobs would keep up in the evenings otherwise!

GOOD LUCK and it DOES get easier.

 

I have not read the book (probably should) so I can't be too much help there, but my girls weren't good nappers at that age either. Not in their crib anyway. I would put them BOTH in a bassinet and leave it in the living room. They seemed to like being in the middle of things, and the comfort of each other. I did this until it was apparent they couldn't fit in there together anymore. At night, I did rock to sleep and they slept in the crib together until about 2 mos. of age. I have read that trying to put the babes down drowzy, but awake will help them in the long run to "self soothe". I would let my babes fuss for awhile - not scream - before I went in to pick up. ALSO - my Mom being "old school" talked me into trying to lay them on their stomachs for naps to see how they would do. (after they wouldn't fit in the bassinet together, naps were VERY hard for me) I tried, and it worked. I was nervous at first and checked on them all of the time, but I didn't put anything in the crib that would get in their faces etc. and they had pretty good neck control early on. They started napping alot better on their stomachs. I finally tried it at night too. I'm not sure if you are comfortable with this, but maybe try it for daytime naps so you can see how they do (and you too). please note that I did NOT swaddle and put them on their stomachs. I think some babies are more comfortable on their stomachs and mine were. I did do a little CIO before 6 mos. Mostly because I had no choice as I was by myself alot and had to let them cry to attend to the other. I had a radio in the room and played soothing music. I also had this really neat thing that was given to me that had different sounds on it - water, rain, white noise etc. and I would play this too at that age to help soothe. sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't. I also believe that at such a young age, they need to cry alittle as this is how they release stress etc. from just coming into the world and being stimulated etc. I wouldn't let them scream for 1/2 hour, but I wouldn't run to them everytime they cried. I hope some of this helps. Congratulations on your babes. your in for the ride of your life!!!

 

I implemented HSHHC at 4 mos. up till then they went to sleep in the swing, the zoomer or wherever they were. I then would go potty and lie down immediately myself.

They don't have habits yet. Try burping them very well after feedings and swings are your friend!! (I put mine in there and would take showers or eat) I used my swings till 9 mos. to get them sleepy, then I would carry them upstairs (they would sorta wake) and put them in their cribs. They fussed for 5-10 min (at 9 mos) and then they slept.

I hope you find the magic thing that helps them sleep!! :hug99: You are really in the hardest part! Hang in there because it will keep changing and something's will be easier and other stuff will get hard. :hug99:

 

At that age they will sleep wherever and whenever they want. Mine slept chest to chest with me and my husband. That was the only way we could get some sleep in about a 2 hour stretch. I would not fret if they sleep in their swing, bouncy, whatever. Mine were in a crib around 3 months. So all is not lost on habits early on.

 

I just remembered some other things we did from that book: Swaddling until they were probably 2.5-3 months (basically when they started kicking it off), and making sure their circadian clock got set by always keeping the room bright during the day and dark at night. Oh, and laying them down drowsy but not asleep (and picking them back up only if they really cry, not just fuss).

My sister put her kids on their stomachs, too when all else failed. They turned out fine. I think I am just lucky and got some good sleepers.

 

QUOTE
I've heard that you can't spoil a baby this age or form habits but it seems we do have some habits here. How can I sleep train them if I am supposed to carry them or put them in a swing for their entire nap. That doesn't seem right.


They really don't have habits yet, just preferences - which they WILL grow out of in a few months. And don't worry, you're not supposed to sleep train them yet! All the HSHHC stuff only applies once you've gotten to at least 12-16 weeks from their due date (not birth date). The only thing from the book to apply right now is keeping intervals of wakefulness short and watching for sleepy signs, so they don't get overtired.

Your babies are just acting like normal newborns. They're used to being bundled snug and bounced around - the more you can recreate womb conditions out in the world, the better off you'll be. Swaddle them tight (Happiest Baby on the Block has excellent demos), use the swings, get a sling and/or Baby Bjorn, and just let them sleep wherever they'll sleep. You aren't getting them addicted to anything - think of all these measures as methadone, not heroin. (They were used to comfy womb conditions 24/7 - and now they only get imitation womb conditions some of the time.)

It won't be like this forever, I promise. As they mature, they will naturally start sleeping better with less help from you. These early weeks will make you crazy, but you can do it! :hug99: