Heading towards a nervous breakdown!

Hi Mommies,

Ever since my boys turned 2 early this month, they completely changed. Sure, there's this bright picture of them growing but they seem to be unmanageable now:

- their nap is a nightmare, with them screaming because they want me to hold them with the understanding that they would smoothly nap before.

- they became jealous from one another even though they're the best friends. Yet, we love them both dearly and show it to them equally.

- Initially, I was against taking them to kindergarden but now I feel that at times they are bored during the days and don't get entertained easily as before, so I am thinking about taking them 2-3 times per week to a day care where they play with kids of their age and change the routine. I am not sure about that, we don't go out often everyday but mainly in the afternoon when my husband get back from work. they seem very excited and happy when they go out so I am not sure if taking them out for a short trip would be helpful.

I look forward for any advice or hint from other moms who experienced such issues. How did you manage? what worked and what didn't?

Thank you so much for your help.

 

1. At two, I would tell them that nap time is time for sleeping and that they will sleep better without you holding them. Reassure them that you will be there when they wake up. You could also try a sticker chart for each day that they nap or have a good period of quiet time. I would also ask, are they on one nap? If they are not, maybe they are ready to transition?
2. Jealousy is very normal. My two go through it from time to time. One wants what the other one has, even though a minute prior they had no interest in the toy/book in question. I just reaffirm sharing and taking turns.
3. Socializing with other children their age or close to it is not a bad idea. If there was an affordable program in our area to do that when our twins were 2, I would have done it. However, those programs started at 3 and are very affordable. My kids go two times a week for 2.5 hours and in that short time, they do get a lot out of it.
Hang in there! 2 can be a tough age but a fun age!

 

I don't have a lot of advice because this last year has been discipline HELL. I think the day they turned 2 years old the crazy competitive twin gene kicked in. There is not a day that goes by where I don't say "What are you doing????" to at least one of them.

Anytime my back is turned they are kicking, hitting, or biting each other. Time outs have helped greatly with making them sit facing the wall during the time out, then acknowledging what the wrong doing was, and giving "love" to the person the aggression was directed at which is a hug or kiss and an "I'm sorry". Unfortunately, within a couple days they forget that what they did is wrong and we start all over again.

The one thing that has helped with the craziness that is taking them outside or to the local park that is a 10 minute drive and let them run around like crazy for 1 to 2 hours. They look forward to this time and we have been taking them when it cold bundled up or muddy with rubber boots on. They don't necessarily like the mud, but they like playing on the play-scape. The only bad days are when it is raining too heavily to go outside because they don't do well in a mall type play area due to DD severe stranger anxiety being triggered by the older people that go to the mall during the day.

Ours are still napping 2-3 hours a day, so I am not fighting that :silly: . They still go to bed at night between 7:30 or 8pm and sleep through the night, so I am not weening the nap yet.

I think taking them to day care or a school program is great if it is possible. I know my kids do great when there are other kids to interact with. Our problem is there is not a school program for their age right now and DS has food allergies that I don't trust others to watch for. He is just starting to understand that milk, cheese or butter will give him "spots", hives really, and make him sick enough to go to the doctor.

The only other thing I can say is patience because it seems as we approach the 3rd birthday the twins are getting crazier. There are nights where DH and I joke that we did this on purpose right, trying to have kids, and getting twins through IVF? I don't know how families do it with more than two because I think I would really lose my mind :wacko: :FIFblush: . Hang in there because I believe it has to get better, right? :ibiggrin:

 

Thank you sooooo much itsnancycozzy and ckreh for your replies. Every word that you say seems to be similar to what I am living right now.

My kids started on nap per day when they turned 18 months or so I guess, and their nap now is about 2 hours max.
Ckreh, I started applying your words as soon as I read them:

"Time outs have helped greatly with making them sit facing the wall during the time out, then acknowledging what the wrong doing was, and giving "love" to the person the aggression was directed at which is a hug or kiss and an "I'm sorry". Unfortunately, within a couple days they forget that what they did is wrong and we start all over again."

It seemed to work like magic. these are healthier techniques I guess. I am sure now I need to read a book about raising kids, if you read any book you really liked and found helpful that deals with how to raise children, I'd appreciate you let me know the title. I want to raise my kids the best way I can seem to be losing my mind I need to have a better psychological understanding of kids at age of my children and the best way to deal with any specific issue.

For instance, one of my twins can't stand being separated from me for a second. If I enter the toilet, he begins screaming loudly when I close the door until I reopen it. Ok, that's separation anxiety. but how to deal with it? because it seems to be recurring every time I am away from sight everywhere, at home, the mall, etc.

Thank you sooo much again for any tip that will help me better manage and be in control of how to better raise my kids.

 

This one helped us a lot My link, especially with the vague requests or negative attention.

 

Here is a book I can recommend. I think it has some really good points!

 

Thank you soooo much for the books reference I will order them both today.

 

I don't know how great my advice will be but I'll try!! I have an 8 year old a 6 year old and 2 year old twins (all girls) so I feel like I should be more experienced with this but today I was sure I was about to go off the deep end!!! At one point I sort of "tossed" (for lack of better word) one of my twins onto the couch without thinking to get her away from her sister....she ended up sort of bouncing off and falling on the floor and I felt so bad. I was thinking I hope this isn't on video somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!!! So anyway, just know that what you are experiencing is normal (if we can call it that!)

As for the napping issues, all of my kids have hit that stage where they freak out at naps (when they had usually been so good for them) but I think the best thing to do is to keep the routine as normal as possible. Do what you always did when they napped well and they will come back around..it may take a few days or a week or maybe a little more, but mine have always come back around...I think when you start changing this and that and jumping through hoops it just makes it worse and makes it continue on (I learned this the hard way, by the way.)

As they are getting more independent mine are starting to get a little more jealous and get into arguments too especially when we've been in the house too long (they have been so cooped up this winter because we live in NH and it's been really hard to get outside with the snow/cold.) But now that it's spring I try to get them outside every day and their behavior is so much better!!! Plus we go to a play group every other week and gymnastics class and that helps too.

Hope that helps at least a little bit. Hang in there! People say it does get easier....I'm waiting for that too!

Shannon