Head Butting - and Banging for that matter

My LO's are almost 14 months old and my DS has a little bit of a temper. LOL Ok - maybe more than a little. He's always banged his head on the ground when he gets really upset or frustrated which I know can be normal. We used to try to run over and stop him and try to comfort him but he would continue to freak out. Finally I just try to ignore him when he gets really crazy like this and he actually stops himself a lot quicker than when I try to intervene. Do other people have kids that do this??? What do you do?

My other problem - perhaps the bigger one - is when he gets mad at anyone he head butts them! In particular, his sister! She'll take a toy or Paci or whatever and he'll run after her and try to headbutt her. One day he was throwing a fit and she went over to try and comfort him by taking him his Paci and he was in such a fit that he grabbed her by her shoulders and headbutted her straight on! It was horrible! He's so much bigger than she is and I swear he's got the hardest head ever that I worry he's going to really hurt her. Of course I try to stop him but I can't always get there in time. Anyone have any experience with this? I just don't even know what to do. We'll be moving within a month and FINALLY will have our own house (we live at my in-laws till my DH graduates Army training). At that point I'm planning on putting up a pack and play somewhere for a time out of sorts. Does this sound like a good idea? And any ideas on what I should do until then? Thanks in advance!!!

ETA: He's a total sweetheart and cuddle bear when he's not throwing these fits. LOL I don't want anyone to think he's this mean little boy. Just has trouble controlling his temper. Terrible two's are scaring me. LOL But otherwise he just wants to cuddle and hug and kiss. He gives sissy hugs and kisses and gives my tummy hugs and kisses. I don't know why he feels the need to headbutt!

 

:rotflmbo: Sorry, my son does the head banging too. I just laughed when I pictured the head butting. I also find that ignoring works better than me running over and soothing. I do think it is a primal form of attention seeking. My son had a bruise in the center of his head for quite some time. It has been diminishing since I have ignored (although I did put out my hand under his head to block the blow) Good luck. I think we have a future of holes in the walls to look forward to! :gah:

 

My son was a headbanger in the earlier part of the SY. I found that just making sure he was safe (he never banged it hard enough to hurt himself) and ignoring the behavior helped it to stop quicker. As for the headbutting, I would try TO's in the pack and play for now. I did not use the PNP for TO's because our house is too small and I did not have room for it in the living room, so I did TO's in my lap, I went to the another room with the offending child and had them sit in my lap for a minute. I did not interact with them during that minute...I found that helped in reducing undesirable behavior (hitting, biting).
I also did find that once my son could communicate better his wants and frustrations those kind of behaviors reduced as well.

 

Nate went through a phase of banging his head on the floor during tantrums. I hate to say that I find it kind of funny; he doesn't hurt himself, but he's just manic! It almost looks like a cartoon. I either would put a pillow under his head if he was on a hard floor, or I'd move him to the carpet and just let him go. It was always worse if I tried to console him, so I'd just try to make sure he wasn't going to hurt himself and let him work it out.

My guys go :catfight: instead of head butting, so I have no experience there, but I think Nancy's suggestion of a TO sounds good.

 

We were JUST talking about tantrums etc in our toddler group, and our teacher suggested modeling a different, but still physical, behavior to use when he's upset. She suggested clenching fists and growling, but I'm sure there's other things to try. She said that intense feelings in this age group have to be released through something physical, you just have to try and make it something a little less destructive! Maybe a big pillow or stuffed animal?

eta: my two are so weird, and rub heads to show affection so I'm constantly warning other parents about that! I try to stay on them so they don't rub heads with other kids or animals.

 

Same problem here too

Gavin has for the longest time banged his head on the floor or wall in a tantrum and as hard as it can be to just ignore that is what we try and do. Also making sure he is not able to hurt himself. On a funny side note - W will see him do this and want to copy him - but he knows it is going to hurt so he gets his head really close to the floor and then hits it but then looks at me like why did I just do that? :unknw: Anyhow from others I have talked to and information I have read that seems to be the best approach.
For the head butting Gavin does that too - so far mostly just to me, when that happens he gets firm NO and then I try and move on and not make a really big deal of it mostly because I think he also does this for attention. If it gets to the point where he does it to others then yes we will have to do some sort of TO. Gavin also has a temper but is also super giggly and just a little ham.

 

I am sorry to hear this, although my babies do not bang their heads on the floor really hard, i have seen them just lay their heads on the floor in frustration. Sometimes when i hold them they have tried to bang their heads against mine, must be a baby thing....but on a serious note, not trying to scare anyone, we have a friend whose son would constantly bang his head on the floor pretty hard from what i understand when he was a baby out of anger, and now he has issues...i would keep an eye on him and make sure he does not do any damage to himself and make sure he is not slamming his head on the floor. as for the pack N play that is a great idea, i still keep both my pack N plays up so i can put the boys in them when i need to. good luck!

 

Thanks so much everyone! I feel so much less alone in this!! I keep a close eye on him and he's doing it a little less than he used to (the head banging). He doesn't bang it super hard. Just hard enough to try and get attention I think. I have noticed both of them being able to understand me more and try to talk more. Maybe the more they are able to communicate through words the better it will get. Thanks for all the other suggestions too!!

 

Funny how all of you seem to have boys that do this! I have ID girls who like to do this...one especially. Alana will do it lightly to be silly but then other times she tries to do it to her sister when she gets close to her (trying to take a toy). Giana, in retaliation, will then try to bite her sister. Both of them bite, scratch, hit, and head butt each other daily...not to mention the temper tantrums when they're tired! They will be 1yr in 2wks but already act like they're in their terrible twos stage! I'm hoping they will grow out of it when the words come. I will keep the TO pnp tip in mind for the future!

 

My son was a head banger. As it turned out, he has Asperger's syndrome. We didn't find that out until he was 9, and it wasn't until then that we were able to put together all of his idosyncracies that we noticed all the years. I'm not posting this to be a downer. Its not likely that your son has the same issues as my son, but I wish I would have known when he was younger. It would have changed so much in how I handled his oddities. I still feel bad for scolding him for things that he had no control over.