He made it look so easy (vent)

I am so frusturated with my DH, and the D can be used differently right now. Yesterday, my babysitter was sick, so DH stayed with the girls for the 1st time ever all by himself. I was VERY nervous about it. He is great with them, but he has never had to keep them alone for more than 30 minutes, so I was concerned about a 7-4 time frame. Anyway, I didn't want to call him too much b/c I didn't want him to think I didn't trust him. He called me about 4 times all day, just giving me a head's up. I think he knew I was a little nervous.
I get home last night and he had washed 3 loads of clothes, dried, & put them away, vaccuumed, cleaned off our bar (another story, it has become the collecting spot for junk and mail) & prepared the bottles for today!
Now don't get me wrong, I was truly amazed, I even called him Mr. Mom, but then he messed it up by saying, "Why can't I do this when I am at home with them, it isn't that hard"
Well it is b/c when they are with me, they never nap and when I walk away from them they cry, so I have to constantly entertain them. Did I mention that they took 2-2 hour naps yesterday. They never sleep a total of 2 hrs for me all day!!

Sorry for the vent, I just feel like a failure and everybody else is better at this parenting thing than I am.
Thanks for listening

 

I am so frusturated with my DH, and the D can be used differently right now. Yesterday, my babysitter was sick, so DH stayed with the girls for the 1st time ever all by himself. I was VERY nervous about it. He is great with them, but he has never had to keep them alone for more than 30 minutes, so I was concerned about a 7-4 time frame. Anyway, I didn't want to call him too much b/c I didn't want him to think I didn't trust him. He called me about 4 times all day, just giving me a head's up. I think he knew I was a little nervous.
I get home last night and he had washed 3 loads of clothes, dried, & put them away, vaccuumed, cleaned off our bar (another story, it has become the collecting spot for junk and mail) & prepared the bottles for today!
Now don't get me wrong, I was truly amazed, I even called him Mr. Mom, but then he messed it up by saying, "Why can't I do this when I am at home with them, it isn't that hard"
Well it is b/c when they are with me, they never nap and when I walk away from them they cry, so I have to constantly entertain them. Did I mention that they took 2-2 hour naps yesterday. They never sleep a total of 2 hrs for me all day!!

Sorry for the vent, I just feel like a failure and everybody else is better at this parenting thing than I am.
Thanks for listening

 

The kids have their good days and bad days. He happened to be with them on a good day. They do act different for different people. They are more used to you, so they know what they can get away with. Don't lay a guilt trip on yourself. One good day with Daddy doesn't mean that you're a bad Mommy. He was out of line, though, saying how easy it was. Give him a week or so and see what he says then. Awesome that he got so much done.

 

My husband spends time with all 5 of our kids every sunday for about 3 hours and it's the very same thing. I come home and the dishes are done, he has vacuumed, they napped, etc. My saving grace is he sees how demanding they are of me. So, he KNOWS why it's not like that with me. Besides, it was the first time your babies stayed home with daddy, they were not sure what to make of it. Now that it's so easy for him you should tell him it can be a regular thing .. he can stay with them while you go shopping, or get your hair done, or get a massage!

 

Your DH could sure teach my DH something. I come home and the house is a pit because the kids have been happy playing with everything everywhere and don't need to pick up anything (no wonder they love when he's in charge).

I think you should chalk it up to the girls having a growth spurt, because we all know they have that one day of good naps when they've grown. Tell him he's so lucky to have gotten them on that one particular day, and if he'd like to try again while you have a day to yourself, he's welcome to (then try to make sure it's a day when they're teething or have a cold or something, when you really do need a break).

 

One thing I have found is my children behave alot better for people they dont know as well as me...that included dh too. Drives me nuts and makes me feel like crap because I cant get it all done but ya know, if dh did this all the time, I can promise you he wouldnt be able to get so much done after the kids get more used to him

 

I work out for 45 minutes to an hour three days a week (in between nursing sessions!) and by the time I come home, my eldest has been showered, dinner is done, laundry is running and the babies are sitting in bumbos while he does some work from home! I can barely get lunch some days... I tell him its because they love me more and want to spend every waking moment with me. A complete joke!

 

I so understand your frustration and I feel the same way. One thing I think I've figured out with my DH is that he just doesn't hear as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, he's great with all 4 kids and does a great job, but when he's home alone, his agenda is his first priority. He can put the boys in their jumpers, turn on the TV, get some stuff done and never hear that the boys were fussing the whole time. Only if they get really mad and CRY does he really attend to it. As moms, I think we're more programmed to entertain and stimulate the babies during the day when they are up. It frustrates me so much since I am always behind on laundry (at least 5-6 days behind) the house is always in a state of "almost picked up" and I am seriously sleep deprived (btw...he always wonders why I don't get a nap in during the day after being up all night with the boys, but then asks if he has any clean underwear! )
Anyway...not a lot of suggestions here, just a definite

He did have them for an overnight once, however, and said to me "I don't see how you get anything accomplished when they're awake!" AHA!! Now if he'd just remember that!!
Nicole