He hates me and may never forgive me

My son (not a twin but I need to post for the support anyway!) was invited to go out of state for a vacation with his friend. His friend's 20 year old brother and Grandma will be in the car. The friend's parents are not going. They are all going to visit a relative but the parents can't get off work to go. It is a 6 hour drive. I don't know the family too well but I really do like the kid who invited my son. He is at our house a lot and he is a great kid. I told my son he could not go, though. At 14 I am not comfortable with him being driven 6 hours away by a 20 year old. He is FURIOUS at me. Maybe I am robbing him of a great opportunity because we don't take vacations or do much because of money but I am just not ready for this kind of stuff. Am I overprotective? He has tons of friends and he goes to the movies, the mall, bowling, etc all the time with just his friends and no adults. It is the long drive that scares me. He hates me but at least I feel like he is safer home with us then with a 19 year old for 6 hours driving. Thanks so much for any thoughts you have!

 

Hi Tara,

Im not a mum I am a teenager whos older then your son, I have heaps overpretective parents who dont let me do things like travel 6hrs in a car with friends I just want to tell you he wont hate you, he will realise that you do it for a reason, he may be angry but will get over it soon!

Good Luck

 

I am not a parent but I am a teenager as well and I think you made the right decision. My parents are pretty lax. I get to do what I want most of the time. Hes only 14 years old and I would say you are letting him do what every other 14 year old does. My parents would never have let me travel out of the state at 14 without my friends parents. He won't hate he will relize you were looking out for him and that its only because you love him that you told him no. So no I do not believe you are over protective and he will forgive you.

 

Um, wow. I think it's best to ignore that previous post, Tara.
(She's referring to a post a troll made that was here when she posted and later removed. No worries stinkyhobo. Her Royal Jennyness.)

Anyhow-I don't think he'll hate you at all. He might be mad for awhile, but I certainly don't think he'll "never forgive you". You're being a good Mom. I would do exactly the same thing in your postition. For me the issue would be the age difference between him and the kid driving, and the fact that he's only 14. As far as him being mad at you, my Aunt used to have a saying with us kids when we got mad:

"You can BYGOD get GLAD in the same britches you got MAD in!"

In other words, he will get over it. Honest. Hugs to ya. Keep us posted on how he's taking it!

 

You are totally right! You have to be very careful.

Your son may be mad at you right now, but you are his mother and you
have to protect him.

 

Thanks Jenny!

 

QUOTE(Neumsy @ Jun 22 2009, 02:02 AM) [snapback]1363470[/snapback]
Thanks Jenny!

No problem. ^_^

 

I can tell you there is no way my parents would have let me go on that trip in HS. :hug: Hug Momma!! He will get over it before you think he will.

 

One day he will have a 14yr old son or daughter and completely understand. Right now there is no way for him to He is too young to see that the trip could be anything but fun he doesn't care that you don't know the relative they are going to see or that it is 6 hours away -that is the joy of being a kid he doesn't have to worry - that is your job! He doesn't hate you he is just upset because he has a hard time understanding why you won't let him go - you can tell a kid why 1,000 times but until they have kids of their own there is no way for them to truly understand. He will get over it - I am learning that with teenagers - one days tragedy is replaced by another the next and then that one is forgotten it is a vicious cycle.

 

Pretty sure my parents would have never let that fly either. You're not being overprotective.