Having a hard day!

ok it is almost 2 pm and I am sitting here in the recliner crying and still in my pj's with no shower yet. My 3 mo. old girls aren't sleeping the best and I have an 1 1/2 yr. old son who I feel I am neglecting. He isn't speaking well and I seriously don't know what I should even do. Everyone says are you talking to him and telling him what you are doing. Well, I don't even freakin' know because I am so darn busy and go from one thing to the next to the next and my head is spinning. I am stuck in the god for sacking house because how in the heck am I supposed to leave with 3 kids under 18 mo. o.k back to my DS: we get up in the morning and I say good morning, how are you today. I tell him we are going to change his diaper, change his clothes. I tell him we are going to put his shirt, socks etc. on. I need some examples of things I should be saying plain and simple. I know I sound like a retard. I guess I am just so hard on myself because I feel he is behind in things. i compare him to my best friends 20 mo. old who looks atleast 2 and he is quite advanced imo. I just feel like it is my fault that he doesn't speak, and has an attention span of 5 sec. I know he hears me because he understands things I say like : lets go brush your teeth or got get your shoes etc. I know I am rambling but I feel lost. On the other had my girls slept from 9-5 in their cribs on sun night. then last night they woke up at 11:30, 1-2-3-and 4 what in the heck for. We had to re-swaddle, move to bouncer, attempt to give paci which they usually won't take. WHY won't they stay asleep? We use white noise and swaddle, what more do they want.

What should I do about my DS, and why won't my girls stay asleep?

Yesterday my one dd was on nap strike and today I guess is a little better.

Please any advice would be great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

:hug99: Momma, please don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing a great job. :hug99: I'm sorry the girls aren't sleeping/napping well. My two went through similar things at that age. It wasn't until 4-5 months that they really got into a sleeping pattern.
As for your son, I know this is so much easier said then done, but try to not compare him to other children. Everyone grows and advances at different rates. At 18 months, my son wasn't much of a talker and within a couple of months he had a vocabulary explosion. I'm sure you are talking to him and doing everything right, but it's hard when you have so much on your plate right now. If you are really concerned, maybe you could give your pediatrician a call and he can set you guys up for an Early Intervention/Speech Therapist evaluation. It's worth it if it will give you some peace of mind.
Again, you are doing a terrific job with 3 young ones. :bow2:

 

I am sorry you are having a crappy day! Hang in there : ) I have written out a list for myself of stories, songs and activities to do with the twins, that way when my brain is dead, I can just read off the list for ideas. I also talk about what has happened during the day with the kids, it's pretty montonous I know - got up, smiled, played with toys, ate, slept etc. When I don't know what to do I sing songs, and yes it is the same 5-10 songs, but at least it is something, and I don't think they mind.

As for the sleeping - we use white noise, but we stopped swaddling our babies a few weeks ago, as they are really into their hands lately and like to use them as toys, so we stopped swaddling them and now they are happier. Maybe you could try swaddling with an arm or two out? They may just be hitting their 3mnth growth spurt, which is why they are more unsettled right now?

I know I expected everything to get better at 3mnths, well it didn't, but I can say now at 3.5mnths there are more smiles then cries and things are gradually getting better and easier.

Hang in there

 

First off, sorry things are so crazy for you right now. :hug99:

It is so hard not to compare kids, but every child is different. My twins are really different, even. As far as talking to your 18 month old, I just talk all the time. I label everything I can. At first, I felt pretty strange, but after a bit, that wore off. Especially when my kids started repeating things back to me. "There's a ball. There is a book. This is your foot. " Those kind of things.

I'm not much help on your girls STTN yet, but it will happen. I felt like mine never would STTN, but they are the best sleepers now. You have a lot going on right now - hang in there. You can make it! :hug99:

 

Bless you heart!!! :hug99: Having three little ones is so rough! My DS was only a few months older then your little boy is when our twins were born. I know how crazy it is to go anywhere or do anything with three small children. I felt many of the same emotions you expressed when my twins were younger and even now.

On the part about your little sons speech maybe he isn't a talker. Maybe he prefers to view his world and that is how he learns. Also, maybe he just hasn't hit his point were his language will all the sudden take off. I know it is around 18 months were the language will start to take off. My son's did. Maybe give him a couple more months and if you are still having concerns, bring it up with his doctor. Also, you can contact an early intervention program in your area to come and evaluate him and see if he is where he should be at. Also, if he doesn't or does qualify they should be able to give suggestions to help him with his speech.

My DS1 had a problem with speech, he ended up being apart of an early intervention program and he made amazing progress. It really helped him. One thing that my ped suggested for him was to give him sippy cups with straws. The straws help the child use more muscles in their mouth to drink then the regular sippy cup. Also, reading to him might help. Another thing which maybe pretty easy is getting a children's song cd and play it while he is playing with his toys.

The little girls sleeping. one thing that might help them is to set up a routine for them. For example, bottle, bath, books, bed. When you get them up at night make it really boring little light, don't talk or play with them.

It also sounds like you need a little time to yourself. However I know how hard it is to find time for yourself. My time was when I showered. I would put both babies somewhere where they can't get hurt or DS can't hurt them. I would lock the doors, put on a movie for DS and shower. That was my time for myself. I know some mom's would never do that, but for me it worked and kept me sane.

:hug99: You are being a great mom! It sounds like you are doing the best you can to help your little boy with his speech. With the sleep process with babies it is trial and error. Best of luck to you and know that you are doing your best!

 

You know what? MOST 18 month olds don't speak much; in fact, I have a friend with a two & a half year old who hardly speaks. She's been in speech therapy with him for 3 or 4 months and no one's worried. Why? Because he can communicate his needs. Some kids just develop differently. DON'T COMPARE yourself with your friend.

From my experience, all of my kids (who are all very bright, verbal, brilliant kids) were late talkers. My 19 month old doesn't say any words right now but "kitty" and I'm not a bit worried. She'll talk when she gets around to it. My current 1st grader has been reading since before kindergarten. His teacher constantly raves about how smart he is and how many words he knows, yet he didn't speak much, if at all, until WELL after he was 2 years old.

As to your babies and sleeping, I feel for you. They are only 3 months old and so aren't ready for any real sleep training, but I do recommend you buy the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," and be thinking and planning ahead for the next few months.

And cut yourself some slack; you're doing the best you can in a difficult situation.

 

oh my, you have your hands full and I should know b/c I have kids about the same ages! Just take a deep breath and take it day by day. You are doing fine. Now that my boys are almost a year old things are so much easier. I still have a hard time getting out of the house but now I can get a shower every day and it's easier to leave the kids with a babysitter so I can get out now and then. Just remember it's the journey, not the destination. The kids will be okay, you will be okay. You have a lot of moms supporting you here on this forum!!! xoxoxox

 

Oh sweetheart you are doing fantastic! I was considered when my boys weren't speaking at 18 months but now at 3 1/2 they are awesome. It was at 2 that they started putting words together, not many, but they were communicating. 3 months is a tricky month for sleep, I like the idea of the white noise machine but if you don't want to spend the money you can use a fan. The simple hum of the fan is very soothing, we all use one in our house and it really helps to drown out noises. When you put them down for a sleep, do you have a routine? Are their tummies full? I would agree with pp, you need some YOU time. Go get some coffee with a friend, a pedicure, walk the mall or sit in the park with a book.

I don't want to overstep my bounds, PPD can peak through in many ways. If you think you may be suffering even a bit please talk to your doc, he/she will be able to help you. PPD doesn't only happen right away, it can manifest later on. It just sounds to me that you may be in a bit of a depression, maybe you are not and if that is the case I do apologize for saying anything. Please feel free to PM me, I did suffer PPD with my twins and my daughter, my daughter started around 2-3 months.

 

First off, I'm the Dad, I hope that doesn't make my comments any less valuable...

I know the Momma's rule the joint here

Anyway, I/we feel your pain. We are almost in the very same boat. Our twins are working on 8 weeks and we have an 18 month old toddler in the mix. My wife worries a lot about him (our toddler) since we must devote so much time and effort to the little ones right now. He does spend WAYYY too much time in front of the TV and is missing out on some 'quality' time with us, but at this point we don't have other options. It just is what it is for a few more months or a year max. We're just trying to survive right now. He'll be 19 months at the end of May and, in my opinion, has a vocabulary of zero. He's a smart little guy, knows and understands a lot, just doesn't verbalize yet. Now we have less time and energy to work with reading books, etc. So I'm sure his development will be delayed a bit more. These are the cards we've been dealt (multiples, timing, etc.) so we all have to make the best of it. And I really think that none of us will be worse for it a year or so down the road.

As for the twins, we are in the thick of it right now. The evening fussiness has started. Still feeding round the clock every 3-4 hours. Now they're getting harder to get settled down for any kind of sleep (daytime or nighttime). They have an average (not too terrible) case of reflux. They throw up at least once a day. They don't like the swing, play-yard, etc. All three of the boys got hand/foot/mouth disease last week (one of the twins was in the ER for bloodwork and spinal tap - he actually contracted viral meningitis). The have seborreah (sp?) on their faces. Our is a complete disaster. My business is being ignored to some degree and faltering a bit. Etc. etc.

Nevertheless, we are actually doing pretty well... relatively. We were so spoiled by our first. By four weeks he was only feeding once per night. By 8 weeks, he was sleeping 8+ hours and never looked back. So we keep hoping these little ones will start to show some signs of 'development' (sleeping, being happier, etc.) We know it will come, the sooner the better, but we know there's little we can do to improve things right now. Just have to ride it out. I can hardly remember all the sleepless night and difficulties with our first (and there were some). I figure it'll be the same with these guys. This time right now is one of the most difficult and challenging times in our lives, but 9 months or so from now things will really change for the better and soon thereafter all these tough episodes will be a thing of the past and hopefully long forgotten.

Good luck to you with your little ones. I know everyone here says to hang in there and that it will get better. It may be overused advice, but it is the case, we all know it. It doesn't really help at 3am with 2 or 3 screaming children and no sleep... but try to keep your head up and try to find something positive about each day, gather yourself together for the next one and just survive.