Has anyone successfully fought their school to keep their twins together?

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by MyTwinGirlsNY, May 20, 2007.

  1. MyTwinGirlsNY

    MyTwinGirlsNY Member

    I am in the middle of a battle royale with the school and was hoping someone here or on any of the twins message boards would have some experience they could share.

    My dd's are registered for K in the Fall. Our school system has a non policy of sorts and allows decisions on placement to be considered at the school level. Overall the general consensus appears to be that they automatically separate regardless of parental request or any other circumstances that may make it better for the children to be together the first year. I was told that as a parent I have no say, their policy is to automatically separate and that no exceptions are made. My pediatrician agreed that my girls would be better together the first year, but her letter of recommendation was disregarded because it only spoke about their emotional well being not a specific medical condition. The school district leaves it to principal discretion so they say their hands are somewhat tied. I have appealed further up the chain but it is a long process.

    I have strong personal feelings that my twins would be better together in K. This decision is based on our circumstances not something that is right for all twins. They are in pre-k together now and are doing great so I see no reason why they would not do just as great in K. It would definitely make them less anxious as they transition to full day school. I read the recent research that seems to support that many twins benefit from being together in the earlier years. Every expert advocates parental input in the decision at least.

    So has anyone fought a completely reluctant school administration on this and won? If you were successful do you mind sharing your experience? I have made it clear I am just asking for this for K and am open to separate classes later if it is agreed to be best. The principal won't even meet with us to discuss it.

    I am now starting to get involved in the movement at www.twinslaw.com. There is tons of info there and they are trying to get legislation passed that will give parents some say in the matter. It is not about whether together or apart is better it is about having a voice. Anyone in NY State who wants a voice should consider getting involved. They are trying to get legislation passed before the session ends. I feel short of legal action it is my only hope at this point and I don't want any other parent to have to go through this! Thanks!
     
  2. MyTwinGirlsNY

    MyTwinGirlsNY Member

    This is actually cross post from the 6-12 board since it affects both age groups.

    (we'll merge the two posts together for you)
     
  3. twinstuff-old

    twinstuff-old Well-Known Member

    Why is is stalled in New York? It seems like the bill sponsors introduced the legislation several months ago and I would hope it is still in the chain of command to be passed into law soon in your state?

    As for your decision, my wife and I have gone back and forth on this issue before. I'm very much in favor of passing state laws allowing parents a decision in this process (and Texas now is the 2nd state to have this type of legislation written into law following Minnesota's lead), but also differ slightly from some other parents here in that I personally feel that separation in Kindergarten was the best decision for my twins. They were great together in Pre-K too, but as they are about to enter the last week of Kindergarten, I really feel they have developed much better individually this past year in separate classrooms.

    You know what's best for your twins, but I guess I'm just trying to say that if they are in separate classrooms, it's not the end of the world. I'm not sure if my twins would have made it past that first grading period as I see them fighting a lot more now than they ever did at the pre-K age and I feel they would have been disruptive to their class if together. Having said that, I'm not sure if that will be the same situation in later years (let's say 1st grade or 2nd grade), and now that we have a law in Texas, if the numbers allow it at our boys school, I guess requesting them in the same room is an option for us in future years.

    QUOTE(MyTwinGirlsNY @ May 20 2007, 06:50 AM) [snapback]262015[/snapback]
    I am in the middle of a battle royale with the school and was hoping someone here or on any of the twins message boards would have some experience they could share.

    My dd's are registered for K in the Fall. Our school system has a non policy of sorts and allows decisions on placement to be considered at the school level. Overall the general consensus appears to be that they automatically separate regardless of parental request or any other circumstances that may make it better for the children to be together the first year. I was told that as a parent I have no say, their policy is to automatically separate and that no exceptions are made. My pediatrician agreed that my girls would be better together the first year, but her letter of recommendation was disregarded because it only spoke about their emotional well being not a specific medical condition. The school district leaves it to principal discretion so they say their hands are somewhat tied. I have appealed further up the chain but it is a long process.

    I have strong personal feelings that my twins would be better together in K. This decision is based on our circumstances not something that is right for all twins. They are in pre-k together now and are doing great so I see no reason why they would not do just as great in K. It would definitely make them less anxious as they transition to full day school. I read the recent research that seems to support that many twins benefit from being together in the earlier years. Every expert advocates parental input in the decision at least.

    So has anyone fought a completely reluctant school administration on this and won? If you were successful do you mind sharing your experience? I have made it clear I am just asking for this for K and am open to separate classes later if it is agreed to be best. The principal won't even meet with us to discuss it.

    I am now starting to get involved in the movement at www.twinslaw.com. There is tons of info there and they are trying to get legislation passed that will give parents some say in the matter. It is not about whether together or apart is better it is about having a voice. Anyone in NY State who wants a voice should consider getting involved. They are trying to get legislation passed before the session ends. I feel short of legal action it is my only hope at this point and I don't want any other parent to have to go through this! Thanks!
     
  4. Shadyfeline

    Shadyfeline Well-Known Member

    I am doing the same thing, I live in Philadelphia and I have written to the House of Rep. and the Senator so far. Thankfully my boys are only one but I fiqure by the time they are ready for school it will be a law. I don't know if you subscribe to Twins magazine but their was an article in the July/August 2006 issue called "Breaking the Barriers: The Secret to Controlling Your Twins Placement" this is what caught my eye, never even knew it was an issue. Sorry this is so long but I save all of my twin mags and here are some key points directly from the article:


    -Parents who disagree with the decisions of a school system regarding their children need only know the path to take with the school to get what they want.

    -In the absence of legislative help, all is not lost. While you may not have control, there is always room for negotioation. And if you level the playing field by knowing what the educators know, you may well succeed.

    -Educators are expected to follow certain guidelines when taking care of your loved ones. Guidelines for educators are created by a federal government task force (the Educational Research and Improvement Council- ERIC). These guidelines are published on the Internet at www.ericdigests.org and are available to educators across the country.

    -And what do you know? ERIC even has a guideline for placement of multiple birth children (find it at http://www.ericdigests.org/1999-2/twins.htm) Many educators seem to have forgotten the ERIC Digests-or never knew they existed-because these men and women are often arguing a position to you that is in direct opposition to their own guidelines, which say- wait for the shocker here- that parents often know what is best for their children, and that placement of twins together should be allowed unless certain circumstances exist!

    -If you have children nearing school age, you would benefit by going to the site above and print out these guidelines. Be prepared to 'share' them with you local school principal when enrolling your children.

    -Be prepared to argue from a position of increased strength by asking the educators to agree to follow their own guidelines when teaching your children.

    In brief the guidelines say that parents and teachers should ask themselves a few questions when considering the appropriate placement of multiples, namely:

    -Are the twins, by the age of five, able to make and sustain friendships independently of one another? I so, they can be placed together if the parens wish. If not separation should be considered on an experimental basis.
    -Do classmates or teachers constantly compare the twins? If so, separation could be considered.
    -Are the twins consistenly disruptive when together? If so, separation may be important.
    -Does a female twin "over-mother" her male sibling? If so, separation may help the boy develop independant behaviors.
    -How will separation affect twins who are used to leaning on each other? A balance must be found between twins being overly dependent upon each other and twins being searated before they are able to cope adequately.
    -Is there social or health concerns that would compound the stress od separation on the twins?
    -Finally, if the twins are school-aged what do they want? The guidelines recognize that children have a right to their opinion and should be taken into account.
    -And most interestingly, ERIC recognizes the importance of gaining the agreement of the parents. Placement should also take into account the views of the parents...If parents disagree teachers may want to listen carefully to each, make suggestions for them to consider, invite them to observe their children in the classroom and suggest a short-term experiment of separating or keeping the twins together.


    So don't sell yourself short when it comes to directiong the education of your children-your opinion matters most, and you have always known it. Advocate for your twins, ask the tough questions, demand answerws from the professionals, and be willing to participate with them to improve your children's educational experience. Keep the ERIC guidelines in mind to help you find answers when talking to the other members of the team.


    Hope this helps, I would also google and see what other parents did to get their twins placed together in the classroom. It is possible without legislation.
     
  5. MyTwinGirlsNY

    MyTwinGirlsNY Member

    QUOTE(MyTwinGirlsNY @ May 20 2007, 07:56 AM) [snapback]262019[/snapback]
    This is actually cross post from the 6-12 board since it affects both age groups.

    (we'll merge the two posts together for you)


    Thanks! First of all this is my first time here and the boards are great. I belong to a smaller on line parenting community and haven't had much time to venture out to twin specific boards until lately.

    As for the NY legislation, my understanding is that it is stalled in the education committee for some reason and if we don't push it along it will not get voted on this session. There is a letter writing campaign now which seems to be gathering some momentum but we are racing the clock. I am aware that Texas recently passed unanimously which is great.

    Thanks for the support and for sharing your experience. I just don't think they are ready for a multitude of reasons and as a parent I should have a voice. Will they be a year from now, maybe, and I am open to it, but that should be a collaborative decision. At this point the most troubling is the fact that as a parent I have absolutely NO say and that an administrator who has never met my children could make such a decision arbitrarily without regard to personal circumstances and my pediatrician's recommendation. I wish there wasn't even a need for this legislation but this is exactly why we do need it. This same scenario is repeated over and over again in other schools nationwide.

    To the mom in Philly, good for you getting involved now! Isn't it amazing that schools are allowed to ignore all the recommended guidelines? That is why we need people to get involved and contact their legislators. In NY right now it can make the difference. I am still amazed by how many twin parents are unaware that they will even face this issue until it comes time to register for school. I will keep you posted. In the meantime anyone interested in this situation should go to WWW.TWINSLAW.COM to get more info.
     
  6. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    As an educator who has had twins in school, and now the parent of children about to attend Kindergarten, I don't see the need for legislation. I have taught in many districts, and whenever a parent has spoken to the principal, their wishes have been taken into account. Our school has a general policy to separate, but if the parent requests, they will keep multiples together. Mine will be separated, for many of the reasons Craig separated his boys. What I find interesting is that while no one has told me to separate them, as soon as I say that I am, I am told that I am making the "correct" choice.
     
  7. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(twinstuff @ May 20 2007, 08:25 AM) [snapback]262043[/snapback]
    You know what's best for your twins, but I guess I'm just trying to say that if they are in separate classrooms, it's not the end of the world. I'm not sure if my twins would have made it past that first grading period as I see them fighting a lot more now than they ever did at the pre-K age and I feel they would have been disruptive to their class if together.
    This was our situation also. I have posted many times before that I felt grateful to our administration and staff at our elementary school for understanding our needs as a family. We did end up choosing to separate our boys in K, mainly on the input of the staff and administration after screening, and were quite hesitant initially but, in the end, were quite pleased with the decision to separate. Our school was more than willing to work with us over the years to ensure that they felt safe and secure in their placement, and were allowed quite a bit of interaction throughout the day. Separate classrooms actually turned out to be a blessing for us. Our boys were extremely competitive (and still are) and we decided that we did not want any "sibling issues" to spill over into the classroom. As they grew and entered the higher grades, and tested out together in advanced reading and math groups, they ended up having classes together in 4th and 5th grade. Now as middle schoolers, we have chosen to place them on the same team, so they have more classes together than not, and they are on the same team as their friends, most of whom they share.

    Anyway, I post all this to say that unless I had a very strong reason for wanting them to be together (recent move, divorce, death in family, or some other such "trauma"), I personally would not fight the school system to keep them together. I felt at the time we made this decision, and still do, that I did not want to give the school any reason to "target" my boys as behavior problems, because of a decision that we made to keep them together against the advice of the school. Then again, we were already very familiar with the staff and administration at our school since we had an older son there, and trusted them implicitly.

    My feeling on this whole issue is that we as parents tend to put too much emphasis on this issue. I think we don't give our kids enough credit. I truly believe most sets of twins will be fine either together or separate and that no lasting damage will be done either way.

    Good luck with your struggle. For what it's worth, I believe the school should also listen to the input of the parents as they live with their children every day. It should be a mutual decision based on input from both parties, the school and the family.
     
  8. Cristina

    Cristina Well-Known Member

    I have been there. I fought, and won.

    My situation came up when the twins were accepted into the preschool program run by our school district. It is for at risk kids. Due to their very early birth and the fact that they had previously been in speech, made them eligible. It is a great program, so I was thrilled. When it came time to enroll them, I was told they would be separated. School policy. They "always" separated twins. That was just the way it went.

    I was livid. They were three and not at all ready for separation. Aaron would fall to pieces if Connor went to Sunday School without him, there was no way I was ready to separate them. I agree with everyone that said you know what your twins can or can't handle. I actually received a lot of advice from other Mom's here on TS, including Kim :) who did separate her boys. Many told me that if in my heart I felt that it was wrong to separate them, than I needed to try to keep them together. I knew for my boys separation was going to be terrible... I decided to fight.

    I called a child adovocate and she gave me some pointers. I sent out an email to the superintendent, the principal and EVERY school board member. I used to teach, for many years. So I knew that if I got the board involved, things would get done. (The administration does not normally want the board involved in these matter) I explained why I felt an arbitrary separation policy was not taking into account the twins well being, and that the decision whether to separate or not should involve input from the parents. I gave numerous resouces, including links to some studies done. I explained it as best I could. As per advice of the advocate, I included in the letter a copy of the district's mission statement, and how separating the twins was actually going against their own mission statement.

    After I sent the email and did even more research and found out that a few months prior, Illinois passed a resolution regarding placement of multiples in the schools. It is not a bill, so it is not enforceable, but it is HIGHLY recommended by our governing body, and pretty much states that parents have the final say in the placement of their twins. I decided to send one more email which included the link to the resolution passed by our government.

    After a few meeting and A LOT of back peddling from some people, I was reassured that Aaron and Connor would be placed together. I kept my local twins club in the loop and many have been able to use my story to make sure their twins were placed in the same room. I felt like I fought the fight not just for my twins, but for any other parents in my district that felt that their twins needed to be together.

    At the parent teacher conference, the teacher admitted to me that the twins have done great and she sees now that they really did need eachother. They are independent in the classroom, but every once in a while will just walk by eachother, touch hands, and then go back to their business. They needed to have that reassurance. They have never been a problem and have never fought or had issues at school. They are extremely close and are the best of friends. I am glad that they have been able to have this time together.

    I know other parents in the same district that felt that separation was best, and they were right. They knew what their kids needed, and separating them was a wonderful idea and worked great for them. Aaron and Connor will most likely go to the private school our oldest son attends, and there they will have to be together, since there is only one class per grade. However, if we feel there reaches a point where they need to be separated, we will do it. I am not opposed to it at all.

    Best of luck in your endevour. Just listen to your heart and you will know what to do!
     
  9. Caleb2Cody

    Caleb2Cody Well-Known Member

    I am fighting right now. Friday was the boys' screening for K, and I took a 1 inch binder of information, IEP's, eval's, and other information neatly placed in an appropriate order for the Principle to look at. He informed me that they don't put together unless we have a dr. note. There is no policy in Ohio mandating that twins be separated, and my mom is the guidance councelor there, so..... I went in fighting and told him that Caleb has an attachement disorder with anxiety that he has been diagnosed with, and they, not myself or DH want them to be together. So, since they want to stay together, then I will fight with everything that I have to make sure that happens. If they do not, I know that I am not required to have a Dr.'s note to keep them together. I will push the Superintendent, and then go to the Local newspaper and TV.... They are trying to still pass a levy, one that they have been trying to pass for the last year and a half. After the Principle reads through all of my information, I asked him to call and set up an appointment to discuss this. If they can't be in the same room, then I will not send them to this School! I will find another, or home school them! I will not let them win this, I will win! I have enought documentation to support them staying together, that it is not funny. I have been researching this for the past 6 months, and feel that the support information that I have is enough to change the Principle's mind without going beyond his authority. Good Luck. PM me if you need information.
     
  10. MyTwinGirlsNY

    MyTwinGirlsNY Member

    QUOTE(Caleb2Cody @ May 20 2007, 09:48 PM) [snapback]262594[/snapback]
    I am fighting right now. Friday was the boys' screening for K, and I took a 1 inch binder of information, IEP's, eval's, and other information neatly placed in an appropriate order for the Principle to look at. He informed me that they don't put together unless we have a dr. note. There is no policy in Ohio mandating that twins be separated, and my mom is the guidance councelor there, so..... I went in fighting and told him that Caleb has an attachement disorder with anxiety that he has been diagnosed with, and they, not myself or DH want them to be together. So, since they want to stay together, then I will fight with everything that I have to make sure that happens. If they do not, I know that I am not required to have a Dr.'s note to keep them together. I will push the Superintendent, and then go to the Local newspaper and TV.... They are trying to still pass a levy, one that they have been trying to pass for the last year and a half. After the Principle reads through all of my information, I asked him to call and set up an appointment to discuss this. If they can't be in the same room, then I will not send them to this School! I will find another, or home school them! I will not let them win this, I will win! I have enought documentation to support them staying together, that it is not funny. I have been researching this for the past 6 months, and feel that the support information that I have is enough to change the Principle's mind without going beyond his authority. Good Luck. PM me if you need information.


    Good for you! I truly hope you have a reasonable principal and you win him/her over, but I went in with some research, expert letters and also a peds note and it was still denied because her policy is to separate, no exceptions! I think her rationale is that if she does it for us, she might have to consider it for someone else later on. Not sure why it is such a big deal anyway. Maybe I have a principal who is worse than others, I just don't know. You would think they would want what is best for the children, but apparently administrative decisions are more important. I do know I am sick over this and I intend to continue to fight and hope that this legislation passes here. We should not need it but I am a prime example of why we do!

    I'll PM you to see if you have anything I don't. I am gathering stuff for my appeal to the head of the schools here. My district seems unable to help me so I am going to the top. Thanks!
     
  11. Cristina

    Cristina Well-Known Member

    Some advice if you want... go to the school board. Go to the next meeting with all your stuff. It is a public forum, you can talk about whatever you want. Be honest. You can also send them each an email or letter. They are almost always listed on the school website. If not, call the school and get the info. It is public knoweledge. Usually school boards and administration do not see eye to eye, and your school board should be representing YOU as the tax payer. They can put A LOT of pressure on the administration. As soon as I went to the school board, things got moving. Quickly. Just thought I would mention it..
     
  12. MyTwinGirlsNY

    MyTwinGirlsNY Member

    QUOTE(Cristina @ May 23 2007, 09:17 AM) [snapback]265646[/snapback]
    Some advice if you want... go to the school board. Go to the next meeting with all your stuff. It is a public forum, you can talk about whatever you want. Be honest. You can also send them each an email or letter. They are almost always listed on the school website. If not, call the school and get the info. It is public knoweledge. Usually school boards and administration do not see eye to eye, and your school board should be representing YOU as the tax payer. They can put A LOT of pressure on the administration. As soon as I went to the school board, things got moving. Quickly. Just thought I would mention it..



    Thanks, I am open to all advice. I have already written to and spoken with the superintendant of my district and my telephone conversation got me nowhere. It is a big school system so I am sure they deal with complaints daily. I don't understand how a principal is not accountable to anyone above her. I have requested a meeting and will go to the head of the schools if necessary. I am on a mission.

    If anyone else is dealing with this issue, please go to www.twinslaw.com. They have been so helpful and supportive. I am totally on board to help them now. In NY we have just a few short weeks to get the legislation passed so the more people behind it the better. There should not be a need for it but sadly I can personally tell you there is.
     
  13. MyTwinGirlsNY

    MyTwinGirlsNY Member

    Mods I hope it is okay, Kathy Dolan from twinslaw.com asked me to post this for her since she is having trouble with her log in.

    Hello all New York Parent of Multiples!

    Urgent help is need to get New York's Twins Bill onto the Educational Committee Agenda for its last meeting day, June 12, 2007!!!! Please Please, if you live in New York and want to have a voice in the together or separate placement of your multiples make four phone calls today!!!!!

    I just spoke with Assemblywoman Cathy Nolan's office and they said that they are now making our Bill a priority and are trying to get it on the agenda for June 12, 2007. This because of the amount of calls etc that they have been receiving.

    PLEASE, PLEASE CALL the following legislators !!!!! ASK your FAMILY, FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS to do the same. It is absolutely imperative that NY gets passed like it recently did in Texas.

    Thank you all so much!!!!

    Kathy Dolan


    IN ORDER TO GET THE TWINS BILL PASSED IN NYS WE NEED EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO MAKE PHONE CALLS IN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS

    We need you and your family and friends to make 4 phone calls. They will take 5 minutes of your time and can make a difference.

    Below are sample scripts.

    1. Call Assemblywoman Catherine Nolan - 518-455-4851
    (Primary Sponsor of the Bill, Chair of the Assembly's Education Committee)
    Call her office, give your name, and tell them "I am calling about Assembly Bill number 3523. It is critical that Assemblywoman Nolan get this Bill out of committee and to a full vote in the Assembly before it is too late. I urge her to put this Bill on the Committee's agenda this week."

    2. Call Senator Stephen Saland - 518-455-2411
    (Chair of the Senate's Education Committee)
    Call his office, give your name and tell them "I am calling about Senate Bill Number 2074. We are counting on Senator Saland, as Chair of the Education Committee, to do everything in his power to get this bill passed this session."

    3. Call Senator Joe Bruno - 518-455-3191
    (Senate Majority Leader, Chair of the Rules Committee)
    Give your name and tell them, "I am calling about Senate Bill Number 2074. I urge Senator Bruno, as Senate Majority Leader, to get the Bill passed this session, so thousands of twins will be placed in appropriate classrooms this September."

    4. Call Assemblyman Sheldon Silver - 518-455-3791
    (Speaker of the Assembly)
    Give your name and tell them, "I am calling about Assembly Bill Number 3523. I urge Assemblyman Silver, as Speaker of the Assembly, to get this Bill passed this session, so thousands of twins will be placed in appropriate classrooms this September."

    THANK YOU!
    Feel free to alter the script, put it in your words, and share your personal circumstances and why this bill is so important to you. It is also OK to just say the script and tell them thank you. THE MORE CALLS THEY GET THE GREATER THE CHANCE THE BILL WILL PASS!

    If you have any questions please contact us at: [email protected] or visit our website: http://www.twinslaw.com/.

    Kathy Dolan and Rhea Mallett
    Campaign Directors for New York's Twins Law
     
  14. twinstuff-old

    twinstuff-old Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(MyTwinGirlsNY @ May 26 2007, 08:56 AM) [snapback]269393[/snapback]
    Mods I hope it is okay, Kathy Dolan from twinslaw.com asked me to post this for her since she is having trouble with her log in.

    Hello all New York Parent of Multiples!

    Urgent help is need to get New York's Twins Bill onto the Educational Committee Agenda for its last meeting day, June 12, 2007!!!! Please Please, if you live in New York and want to have a voice in the together or separate placement of your multiples make four phone calls today!!!!!

    I just spoke with Assemblywoman Cathy Nolan's office and they said that they are now making our Bill a priority and are trying to get it on the agenda for June 12, 2007. This because of the amount of calls etc that they have been receiving.

    PLEASE, PLEASE CALL the following legislators !!!!! ASK your FAMILY, FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS to do the same. It is absolutely imperative that NY gets passed like it recently did in Texas.

    Thank you all so much!!!!

    Kathy Dolan
    IN ORDER TO GET THE TWINS BILL PASSED IN NYS WE NEED EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO MAKE PHONE CALLS IN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS

    We need you and your family and friends to make 4 phone calls. They will take 5 minutes of your time and can make a difference.

    Below are sample scripts.

    1. Call Assemblywoman Catherine Nolan - 518-455-4851
    (Primary Sponsor of the Bill, Chair of the Assembly's Education Committee)
    Call her office, give your name, and tell them "I am calling about Assembly Bill number 3523. It is critical that Assemblywoman Nolan get this Bill out of committee and to a full vote in the Assembly before it is too late. I urge her to put this Bill on the Committee's agenda this week."

    2. Call Senator Stephen Saland - 518-455-2411
    (Chair of the Senate's Education Committee)
    Call his office, give your name and tell them "I am calling about Senate Bill Number 2074. We are counting on Senator Saland, as Chair of the Education Committee, to do everything in his power to get this bill passed this session."

    3. Call Senator Joe Bruno - 518-455-3191
    (Senate Majority Leader, Chair of the Rules Committee)
    Give your name and tell them, "I am calling about Senate Bill Number 2074. I urge Senator Bruno, as Senate Majority Leader, to get the Bill passed this session, so thousands of twins will be placed in appropriate classrooms this September."

    4. Call Assemblyman Sheldon Silver - 518-455-3791
    (Speaker of the Assembly)
    Give your name and tell them, "I am calling about Assembly Bill Number 3523. I urge Assemblyman Silver, as Speaker of the Assembly, to get this Bill passed this session, so thousands of twins will be placed in appropriate classrooms this September."

    THANK YOU!
    Feel free to alter the script, put it in your words, and share your personal circumstances and why this bill is so important to you. It is also OK to just say the script and tell them thank you. THE MORE CALLS THEY GET THE GREATER THE CHANCE THE BILL WILL PASS!

    If you have any questions please contact us at: [email protected] or visit our website: http://www.twinslaw.com/.

    Kathy Dolan and Rhea Mallett
    Campaign Directors for New York's Twins Law


    You might want to tell Kathy to use the lost password tool here to retrieve a new password. Not sure if she's logged onto these boards since we made the software switch. Also, she can use our Twin Wiki on this subject (or you can) to promote further actions:

    http://www.twinstuff.invisionzone.com/wiki...s_in_Classrooms
     
  15. MyTwinGirlsNY

    MyTwinGirlsNY Member

    Just as an update on my situation, my initial appeal to the district for same class placement was not successful. They are deferring to the principal because there is no set guideline in our school system about this :angry:! I am appealing higher up but it has been stressful and frustrating to deal with educators who will not listen to a word we have to say as parents. I am really hoping for this legislation or I don't know what we will do.

    The local NBC news here in NY tri state area is doing a story on the pending legislation and the national movement started by www.twinslaw.com in case anyone is intersted in watching. It should air between 5 and 6 PM tonight.

    Mods can you please cross-post this in 1-5 also? This issue affects those who have children who are about to start school a great deal also, maybe even a little more so than those with older mutiples.

    Thank you!
     
  16. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(MyTwinGirlsNY @ Jun 7 2007, 03:28 PM) [snapback]283428[/snapback]
    Just as an update on my situation, my initial appeal to the district for same class placement was not successful. They are deferring to the principal because there is no set guideline in our school system about this :angry:! I am appealing higher up but it has been stressful and frustrating to deal with educators who will not listen to a word we have to say as parents. I am really hoping for this legislation or I don't know what we will do.
    I don't want to pry but am wondering why such opposition to separating them in Kindergarten? I don't need details, but are there extenuating circumstances? I was just never willing to make such a huge issue with the school about keeping them together (even though initially I thought that was what we wanted) because my boys are quite competitive and I was truly afraid I'd make a big stink about keeping them together and cause a huge ruckus only to find out they were bringing their "sibling issues" into the classroom or something. I just never wanted them to be caught up in the middle like that. So rather than fighting to keep them together, I began to examine reasons why they might do well, and even like, being in their own separate classrooms. In the long run, now I am so happy they were separated and so are they. Our school was so wonderful about ensuring they see each other throughout the day that it was never a real problem for them. Yes, they had a slight adjustment period, but overall it was not that bad. Of course, if there are circumstances which may make this transition more difficult (divorce, recent move, illness, etc.), then I can completely understand why you would be so adamant about keeping them together.

    Truly, I believe that most children will do fine either way, together or separate. Even if initially there is some resistance to being separate, I don't think we're scarring them for life or anything by doing so, and if together is your only choice due to school size, I think the kids will adapt to that too. Speaking for myself only, it was much harder on me to see them separated for the first time, than it was on them to actually be separated. And while I do support a parents' right to choose whether they keep their multiples together or separate in school, I am a bit wary of legislating such a choice. I believe the school and the parents need to work together for optimal placement. Our school would have let the boys be together had I fought the issue but my DH and I sat down with the administration and really listened to what they had to say about why they felt our boys in particular would benefit from and enjoy being separated. I never would have given it any consideration had we not had the input we did from our principal and the K teachers at their school, all of whom we trusted. (And believe it or not, these educators are not the enemy -- they also want the optimal placement for the children.) Ultimately, we opted to try separation and were pleasantly surprised at how much the boys enjoyed having their own teacher and class to enjoy.

    Good luck with your venture. I hope it works out for you whichever way is best for your girls.
     
  17. MyTwinGirlsNY

    MyTwinGirlsNY Member

    QUOTE(MamaKim @ Jun 12 2007, 08:08 AM) [snapback]288803[/snapback]
    I don't want to pry but am wondering why such opposition to separating them in Kindergarten?


    Thank you for taking the time to reply. I am interested in hearing all sides because we are not sure how it will end up. We do have personal family circumstances (illness of immediate family member) that has a great inpact on our family the last few years. Also one of my daughters has a health issue we are just starting to learn more about. My pediatrician wrote a letter to the school indicating that she agreed that it would not be in their best interest to be separated right now because of these factors, particularly my daughter with the health issue. The principal refused to consider this recommendation or factor any of our personal circumstances into her decision which is why I am so upset. She separates automatically no matter what. Mind you she has never even met my children, she is basing her decision solely on a decision she has made for all multiples. I think an arbitrary policy like that is very unfair.

    If anyone had told me even a few months ago that legislation was even necessary I would not have thought so. However after our experience with this school administration, I think it is the only way to get some of them to understand that automatic separation is not always best for all children. My case may sound extreme, but I am learning of other families who have faced the same kind of unreasonable opposition in the same and other school systems.
     
  18. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(MyTwinGirlsNY @ Jun 12 2007, 08:47 AM) [snapback]288838[/snapback]
    Thank you for taking the time to reply. I am interested in hearing all sides because we are not sure how it will end up. We do have personal family circumstances (illness of immediate family member) that has a great inpact on our family the last few years. Also one of my daughters has a health issue we are just starting to learn more about. My pediatrician wrote a letter to the school indicating that she agreed that it would not be in their best interest to be separated right now because of these factors, particularly my daughter with the health issue. The principal refused to consider this recommendation or factor any of our personal circumstances into her decision which is why I am so upset. She separates automatically no matter what. Mind you she has never even met my children, she is basing her decision solely on a decision she has made for all multiples. I think an arbitrary policy like that is very unfair.

    If anyone had told me even a few months ago that legislation was even necessary I would not have thought so. However after our experience with this school administration, I think it is the only way to get some of them to understand that automatic separation is not always best for all children. My case may sound extreme, but I am learning of other families who have faced the same kind of unreasonable opposition in the same and other school systems.

    Wow, the principal has never even MET them? How can an appropriate decision be made regarding their placement if she has not even met them? Unbelievable! I question her ability to be a principal, or even an educator. Well, I can truly understand why this would be an issue as well as any health conditions your daughter may have. We had one set of identical twins in our school who were placed together all the way through 5th grade because they were both severely diabetic. I cannot believe that any responsible educator would dismiss any doctor's recommendation about placement and on top of that, not make any attempt to actually meet with the children in question. I am so sorry. I kind of thought from the tone of your posts that there may be more than just simple placement in question. You are correct in stating this is unreasonable opposition. A blanket policy just doesn't work in a situation like this.

    I knew the staff and administration of our elementary school was exceptionally wonderful, but am seeing just how wonderful they really are through the eyes of your experience. We were truly blessed.
     
  19. Cristina

    Cristina Well-Known Member

    You are a perfect example as to why mandatory arbitrary separation policies are ridiculous. It should always be done on a case by case basis. As a former educator, I can give you my two cents as to why there are some educators are so unwilling to change. (please note I said some, not all) 1. They thrive on being top dog and being able to make decisions. They do not want anyone to tell them that there is a better way. They don't want to change and have to admit what they consider "defeat." (which is isn't. It is saying that they decided to do what was best for the child...) 2. An arbitrary policy is easier. They begin to invision all these parents of multiples requesting their kids be together and want to be considered on a case by case basis. That adds a lot of work. Keeping a policy in place is much easier for them...

    I fought, and thankfully was able to reason with the superintendent. I do know since my fight there have been three other twins placed together, and they used us as an example. Bringing the issue to the school board was the biggest help. Even the superintendent has to answer to the board.... They are parents and if they had a child with a medical issue and with Dr. recommendations that were being ignored, they would not be happy either. I would find out when the next school board meeting is and go in with all your stuff and present your case.... Just an idea.

    I have said before, I am not against separating twins. Not at all. I just think it needs to be done on a case by case basis. Some twins thrive on their own, which is great, and others thrive together... Making an arbitrary policy for twins is like saying that all twins are the same... They all have the same relationship. Just like we talked about in the other thread about whether to hold a child back based on his birthday, and many of us agreed it all has to do with the child. Each child is different. The same is true to twins, as we all know, and therefore the decision should be the parents. just like it is when deciding to hold back or not.... Just my humble opinion
     
  20. MyTwinGirlsNY

    MyTwinGirlsNY Member

    Did not know if I could start a new thread but wanted to update everyone on the NY legislation and Kathy from twinslaw.com asked if I would post the details for her. She has a news crew at her house today doing interviews so her hands are full. The NY legislation was on the verge of getting passed but we just learned it has been dramatically amended on the assembly side. Instead of adding language to accomodate the smaller schools like Texas did, the amendment completely changed the bill. The way it reads now it actually forces schools to make policies in writing, but does not provide guidelines for such policies and it puts final say in the school administrators/principals hands which is part of the problem now. Huge issue for me personally since I am currently having problems with a principal who is not open to discussion on this issue at all.

    Here is the direct email from twinslaw.com. Thanks!

    Hello Everyone!

    While the Senate is on the verge of passing twins legislation (S2074) that will give parents a voice in whether their twins are placed in the same or separate classrooms when they enter school, the Assembly is not supporting a similar bill (A3523).  Instead, members of the Assembly have amended the legislation to requires that school districts "develop and publish a written policy about the placement of twins...in school classes" without recognizing the research that twins should not be separated into separate into separate classrooms before they are ready.
    The new language in the Assembly has the potential of legally protecting school districts who automatically separate twins - - giving parents NO VOICE in placement and NO RECOURSE!
     
    WE NEED YOU - - AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW - - TO MAKE 2 PHONE CALLS IMMEDIATELY!
     
    1.  Call Assemblywoman Catherine Nolan - 518-455-4851
          (Primary Sponsor of the Bill, Chair of the Assembly's Education Committee)
    2. Call Assemblyman Sheldon Silver - 518-455-3791
         (Speaker of the Assembly)
    Call and tell them you oppose the recent amendments to Assembly Bill Number 3523, that they:
    are a disgrace; ignores current research; disregards the advice of experts; does not address the concerns of parents of twins who wish their children to be placed in the same classrooms; and can insulate and protect school districts who refuse to follow scientifically based research and fail to consider the individual circumstances of each set of twins. Further - you implore her/him to support the original bill, Assembly Bill 3523, and get it passed this week before the legislators go home.

    Also please call the following supporters of the original bill to explain that there is a new amendment NOTHING like the old bill and it is contrary to the one they originally co-sponored. It is not supported by families with twins and we want them to support the original bill only.

    Co-sponsors
    Latimer (518) 455-4897
    Millman (518) 455-5426
    Pheffer (518) 455-4292
    Weisenberg (518) 455-3028

    2. Tell him not to support anymore.
    Said would vote for it:
    Miller (518) 455-5725 (member of the education committee)

    3. Tell her not to support anymore.
    Said "it makes sense" without promising anything.:
    Sayward (518) 455-3662 (member of education committee)
     
    Please send this email to everyone you know - - IMMEDIATELY!
     
    THANK YOU!
    If you have any questions please contact us at: [email protected] or visit our website: http://www.twinslaw.com/.
     
    Kathy Dolan and Rhea Mallett
    Campaign Directors for New York's Twins Law
     
  21. Bestian

    Bestian Well-Known Member

    Creating a content is a complicated topic, especially if you are trying to upload it regulartly. If you don't have a big company besides you then it would be hard for you to keep up the schedule without quality suffering. In this case, you can reuse your older content. This will help you to put out content more regularly. Here is a link for you with a topic about it. You can read it if it's a big problem for you.
     
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