Happiest Toddler on The Block

Anyone read this and try this with success??? For one, I feel REALLY dumb talking that way to my kids when they are thhrowing tantrums. I feel like I am mocking them if that makes sense? Another thing is, it doesn't work. It's actually like it gets them more angry and they scream louder. What am I doing wrong?

 

I was hoping this was a post about how great the book is. :blush: I started reading it a year ago and never finished. I found I didn't have the courage to talk to my kids like that unless I was completely alone. At this stage I'm like you and I wonder if it just wouldn't encourage them continue with the screaming and thrashing. Hopefully someone else on here has had a positive experience with the book.

 

I found that this book half helped and half didn't. When my two were throwing a lot of tantrums before they turned two, sometimes using the toddlerese did help them to calm down but my husband and I figured that a lot of the tantrums at that age were due to their frustration over not being able to communicate as well they wanted to. At age 2, using toddler-ese doesn't work as well, they want what they want when they want it. So once I figure out the problem behind the tantrum (i.e. one wants the other's toy) then I might employ distraction or say to them both, "you play with it for 5 more minutes and then share with your brother/sister" and usually it's either forgotten by the end of 5 minutes or the toy is given to the other child.
I think with the book it just takes practice and consistency, I don't think you are doing anything wrong at all...toddlers are hard to figure out!!!

 

I did try using the toddlerese, but I could never bring myself to growl at them. We had better luck with 123 Magic.

 

I've read so many books and wow not sure if I found any holy grail in the book department for the 2 yr old age. I found this book odd and hard to get through -- eventhough I loved the baby one. I do still try to "mirror ?" back to my child what she is trying to say or get upset about. "you want to go outside and you are sad you cant' go out". " you are upset because you wanted THAT toy and you are mad the baby has it" blah blah blah. Can't say it works miracles or anything.

I think I've come down to TO or ignoring them. Anything else seems to make it go on and on.

 

I am so glad someone brought this up. I read the book after loving the 1st year book. It wss odd to use toddler ease with my 2.75 yo son but it really worked. The "lets tell Ms M that you s=don't really want to go to school today REALLY SAVED MANY MORNINGS. It not that i am telling the
teacher that he is not going to school but that he feeelllssss strongly about not going. My son really stops whining and yelling when I give him back his words asnd try to match his intensity level. I even tried it in the supermarket and it worked so fast that the wierdness was gone wuickly. I think the method worked better around three years and older. My tins are 3.3 now. I have not had a real reason to use it with DD. I am so glad to have had the practice with DS. Definitely worth reading in general too.

 

I ordered the DVD so DH would watch too after reading good reviews on the techniques. We tried it for awhile and didn't see any differences other than we both felt like idiots acting like two year olds. Sometimes it did stop them, but I'm still pretty sure they just quit screaming to see what mom or dad was doing. I'm having much more luck with counting to 3, Time Outs, and ignoring certain behaviors. I did take from it to parrot back what the problem might be. So with a fit about putting shoes on I'll now tell them "I know you don't want to wear your shoes, I'm sorry you have to put shoes on, but you have to have them on to go to school." I have no idea if it actually helps. Counting to three and time out in thier room are the only things that stop the whining right now.

 

I saw part of the DVD, and it seemed kind of goofy and unrealistic.

I count, I use TOs when necessary, I ignore some tantrums. Like elara said, I do acknowledge their frustration when it makes sense ("I know, you're mad that there's no more strawberry yogurt. That is so frustrating! I don't like running out of yummy things either"), but not in that "toddlerese" way.