Happiest Toddler on the Block

I just bought the book last week. I vaguely remember people here mentioning it was a good book...I think. Anyways...I've just started reading it and it seems really good. I think I need help in the areas of discipline(I take that back... I KNOW I need help)! I am hoping this book will help me deal with tantrums and not giving into them(I'm a sucker).

So-did you like it? Did it work for you?

I know for me-I tend to give in-so they can stop whatever behavior. I am not good at being consistent and following through with something I say I am going to do. They are 16 months old...and dh thinks they already are wrapped around my fingers! Not to mention...they will be big brothers in a short 3 months, so I want to spend this time now working with them and behavior issues that we may have now, or that may come up later...

But gosh-why do they have to be so cute? Does he deal with this also?!!? :lol:

 

I'm probably going to offend some folks with my comparison, but this is how my brain works (I've had more pets than children)! And I know nothing of Happiest Toddler on the Block, but has to do with giving in to the cuteness, bear with me, I do have a point!

I take the same tack with the girls that I did when working with my dogs. I have an 80 lb golden and a 65 lb lab, when we first got them they were soo little and cute and no one cared if they jumped up on them, licked them, sat in their lap, etc (okay, so they still sit in our lap, whatever!). I always had to explain to people that while it may be cute now when the dogs were full grown, it wasn't going to be so cute and it wasn't fair to the dog to change expectations and rules midway through the game. So I try to resist the girls cuteness factor (because of course I'm tempted!) and try to imagine them older and not knowing better because I didn't teach them. Which is not to say that I don't indulge for random occasions and just to make them smile, but if they're screaming at me for another cracker...they aren't going to it until I get a please! It may be a tear streaked sniffley please, but usually that breaks the yelling cycle.

So, sorry for the pet comparison, I know that bothers some, but my boys are family to me and I try to instill manners in them too!

 

THat is actually not a bad analogy Angela! I will have to picture a slobbery mastif next time Ben pulls that garbage!

We rented the DVD on Netflix. I personally found it a little...odd. His tactics are a bit over the top. BUT, I have to say that I learned some helpful hints. Most importantly, I learned to reaffirm, reaffirm, reaffirm what their wants are, without giving in. (Like, I would say in a whiny toddler voice, "You want ice cream. You want it. You really want ice cream. You want the ice cream.) The whole premise is that you need to make it clear that your child has been heard. That doesn't mean you then give them what they want.

So an interesting read, but not a profound lifesaver like his Happiest Baby on the Block book was for me.

 

i have read the book and also liked the reaffirming their feelings (never thought of that before..). This whole strategy works really well on DS, all I have to do is affirm his feelings once maybe twice and he settles right now, now DD on the other hand is different, i can reaffirm her feelings 20 times and she is still screaming, so I result to ignoring to some degree (depending on what the issue is, as mine are still fairly young - 13.5months)

Good luck!

 

We purchased the book, too. We did read it and based our child rearing "loosely" on his philosophy, but not "to the letter." We also found that "Happiest Baby on the Block" was a lot more helpful. That book was a lifesaver!

 

Loved it! and it worked!
I felt really silly when using the affirming talk-but it really did work. We were dealing with major tantrums with Sophie and if you made it clear that you understood her-the crying would stop immediately. It is so weird how well it works!

I would suggest it to anyone!

 

At 16 months, it was sort of helpful. I never did the affirming talk as dramatically as he says to (and when I tried, they just looked at me like I'd gone insane), but using the toddler-speak did seem to get through to them.

I have a tendency to talk to children like they're adults, which is sometimes a good thing (they learn vocabulary, feel like you're taking them seriously, etc.), but sometimes it's not the best approach. Tantruming toddlers can't process an explanation like "You can't have that toy because your sister was already playing with it and it will be your turn in one minute but it really isn't nice to hit your sister because it hurts her." Something like "Sarah play now -- your turn soon -- no hitting, hitting hurts" gets through much more quickly.

 

i think it's a great book and full of tons of excellent advice and info (and i have mentioned it here a few times!). mine are only going on 15 months (12 adjusted) so not a lot applies, but what we've tried has already worked! the fast food talk (reaffirming) does make an impact. being consistant is not a new suggestion, but anywhere we hear it, it's helpful.

i think the pet analogy is a great one and it's been studied quite a bit, actually! (pet training and people training!).

QUOTE(Minette @ Mar 11 2009, 07:35 AM) [snapback]1223390[/snapback]
I have a tendency to talk to children like they're adults,


that's a really great thing a lot of the time, but sometimes it will go right over a child's head. as for toddlers, i think it's really important to talk in ways that they understand when you're trying to make a point. the adult talk, however, is great for teaching, exposing them to language, etc. we had a teacher at our school (i elem taught school for 17 years before the babes) who always did this when she was punishing her students, and i swear she confused the heck out of them! however, they had great vocabs and could speak really well... so, a time and a place for everything!

just my two cents.