handling uncomfortable comments

So the girls have started to notice people have wheelchairs, canes, and other mobility devices. Today, they saw a little girl rolling around in her wheelchair and Nicole said very loudly right as the girl was next to us: "Look! She has a wheelchair!" The only think I could think of was "Yes, and it's a very pretty purple one." *facepalm* Later when asked why she had one, I just mentioned that not all people work the same way, and sometimes they need a little extra help to move around. What should I have said/done differently? It was just weird and uncomfortable, and I'm worried my daughter hurt the other girl's feelings. How can I explain all that? Should I even try at this age? Bleargh.

 

We have talked about people being different with different skin color, and disabilities. I don't think they are too young. Kids are curious and just want to know why/how people are different. I don't think you handled it bad, but if it was easy to do, I would have tried to talk to the girl and say how neat you think her wheel chair was and how it would be fun to do certain things with it. I have found people are very nice when they see you are trying to teach your children young how people are different. I think the more open you are the easier it is.

 

She didn't say anything wrong. The girl was in a wheelchair, and you answered right, it (probably) was a pretty purple one. Where I would have done something different is I would have taken that moment to go up to the girl in the wheelchair and have my kids tell her how cool the chair is/that they like purple/whatever the kids think up.

People have used tools since the beginning of time to accomplish things that they are not physically able to do. Axes cut down trees, hammers drive in nails, a crowbar is used to pull off the tire rim, a car is used for traveling long distances, and a wheelchair or a cane is used for people who are unable to walk from one place to another for whatever reason. You can go online and look up dogs in wheelchairs/carts too.

 

When my girls make comments like that (and they are always SOOOO loud!), I just simply say "Yup. She uses a wheelchair because she has trouble walking. Just like daddy and I use glasses because we have trouble seeing."

 

Actually I think you handled it well in the moment (although I would have felt a bit weird too). I think it's worth keeping in mind that, to your daughter, there's no difference between what she said and saying something like "Look! She has a bike!" it's just something she's noticed and wants to point out to you.
As far as explaining about hurt feelings I think they are probably old enough for you to introduce the idea. Obviously you will need to keep it fairly simple but you could explain that it's not polite to shout out things about how other people look. The person might think they're being mean or teasing and feel sad or cross. If you don't think it's too confusing you could say that it's OK to say nice things or talk to the person, eg she could have spoken to the girl and said "Hello, I like your wheelchair." or said to you "Look! Her wheelchair's really pretty!" You could also look for some books around the subject to read with them.

Edited for spelling

 

I actually think you did really well.

My friend's daughter used a wheelchair for low muscle tone which was purple also. She often comments that she'd like people to teach their kids to do exactly what you did- feel free to make a positive comment and even coming over to say something to the person in a wheelchair like Bex mentioned would be great. What she hates is when people point, stare or ask "What's wrong with her?"

 

my nephew is deaf and non verbal autistic...he has a cochlear implant but due to the mental issues he just kind of makes a hooting noise when he's wearing his processor...Abby asked me one day why Colby just made noise all the time and I had to explain that his ears and brain don't work the same way hers do...and she accepted that (she didn't ask me in front of my SIL)...

Ian was the one that embarrassed me one day - we were leaving SIL's house and I told Ian to wave to Colby to say good-bye (Colby understands some sign language and waving hi/good-bye) so Ian says "good bye" and when I said to him "just wave - he can't hear you" (Colby wasn't wearing his processor) Ian just waived harder and yelled "GOOD-BYE"!!! I was mortified, my SIL nearly peed her pants laughing!

I think you handled it just fine!