Hand Swatting

Hi Everyone!

Well, my toddlers are in full force terrribel twos. Time outs don't work. They just don't. DS sits happily during it and it is obvious to me that he does not make the connection between what he did wrong and the consequnce. I did it Super Nanny style, and I think we did it well. We have tried it consistantly for a long time.

DS has been throwing his plate off the table for some time. After some convincing from my sister-in-law, I tried her method: swatting the hand or spanking. I firmly hit his hand and said, "No! You do not throw your plate! That is naughty!"

I fianlly got a reaction from him..and an apology.

I am on the fence on this whole spanking thing. I thought I would never do it, but nothing was getting his attention. I am not an advocate of a planned "spanking", bare butts, using objects to do it etc., but I think that ONE swat on the hand or butt, might just work for us when it needs to be done.

Anyway, I don't want to start a debate, and I realize not everyone agrees with this, but I wnat to know how many of you do this, or am I alone in this? Any other ideas for disicipline?

 

QUOTE(hanknbeans @ Aug 6 2007, 03:21 PM) [snapback]359911[/snapback]
I am not an advocate of a planned "spanking", bare butts, using objects to do it etc., but I think that ONE swat on the hand or butt, might just work for us when it needs to be done.

I agree with this 100%.
My DD started the throwing food thing and I did everything and nothing worked. So I started swatting her hand when she did it and telling her "no, we don't throw food." It was amazing how fast she quit. I can say at 14 month my children no longer throw feed on a daily bases. Every once in a while they get in a mood and do it but all I have to do now is give the look and say"no!" and thats it.

Good luck, I hope you continue to have a good response.

 

I am for the whole "spare the rod, spoil the child" thing. I obviously don't spank my children with a rod, or any other object, but I do spank. I am also a "planned" spanker in some occasions... Like if one of my older children (over 2) do something that makes me angry, I don't spank them right away because I do not want to spank them in anger... I spank them to show them that when you do something wrong, you get a consequence.

Anyway, I understand how you feel, I don't just jump to spanking every time they do something that is unacceptable, but it is most definely an option in our household.

 

oh i agree with u a little swat on their hand or their butt.

that did work 4 awhile, now my boys, well colin more, for example, we have a 61in sony tv , dh pride & joy, colin will run over & bang on the screen, he has been put in time out, his play pen or has to sit with me for a few minutes, that didn't work, so we swatted his hand, and that worked for a bit, now my sweet lil colin will run up and bang the tv then run over to dh or myself with his hand out..so he knows what he is doing .. that's my boy...lol

 

I don't believe in spanking in any way shape or form. I deal with naughty behavior by redirection & removing the offending item. If my girls threw a plate - I would remove the plate & let them eat directly off their highchair try & say "You can't have the Dora plate if you are going to throw it." I would keep taking away the plate until the phase passed. If they hit the TV screen - at your kids' age - I would fence off the TV so they couldn't reach it. I would be afraid they might hurt themselves, ruin the TV or cause it to topple. My girls are pretty obedient - I react to misbehavior as quickly as possible by removing a toy they are fighting over, making them count to 30 then give them the toy to their sister if they both want the same toy, & the naughty mat works well for us. Better for Bella - she seems really upset to be on the naughty mat & her behavior shapes right up after a naughty mat session. Rissa does't seem to be phased by the naughty mat - but removing her from the situation seems to redirect her attention to something else. Bella seems to be a real "mommy pleaser"but Rissa is defiant - so far I am able to manage her defiance with stern looks, the naughty mat & redirecting her. It will be fascinating to see how she develops as she gets older. In any case - I would never swat their hands or butt - I just don't think it is right (neither does the American Aademy of Pediatic, the American Board of hild & Adolescent Psychology or the American Psychiatric Association.)

 

I agree with you...Anthony (the almost 3yo ) gets swatted. Unfortunately, a little more often than I would like. But nothing else gets his attention and he is a wild child.

With the little ones, I have had to swat Gabes hand a few times. He gets one thing in his mind and is SO persistant. IE: turning the wall air conditioner on/off on/off on/off etc etc. No amount of redirection, telling him "no" or anything will get him to stop. Heck, not even a swat on the hand works that often for him. I think I will have my work cut out for me with this one!!

Anyhow -you need to discipline your children the most effective way that you can. I think children today have absolutely no respect for authority, property etc because of the lack of dicipline today (but that is a totally different thread!!!)

 

I totally agree that a swat on the hand is fine and gets your point across. We're not talking about abuse here!

 

QUOTE(hanknbeans @ Aug 6 2007, 07:21 PM) [snapback]359911[/snapback]
DS has been throwing his plate off the table for some time. After some convincing from my sister-in-law, I tried her method: swatting the hand or spanking. I firmly hit his hand and said, "No! You do not throw your plate! That is naughty!"
Any other ideas for disicipline?


Both my boys have gone through the throwing the plate off the table phase. After I few times, I learned the "cues" for when it would happen. Which was generally at the end of the meal. So I got to it first......once I see that they are done, and starting to play with anything, I know it is time to clear everything away.
If that is not the case with your son, I would just remove it, and end the meal. If he was still eating he would learn that throwing the plate off the table results in him getting down from the table. I just think firm, fair and consistent when it comes to disciplining my boys. I personally do not feel comfortable hitting them.

 

I have no problem with swatting. In fact, that's how I started teaching them to avoid dangers around the house like pulling on the plug covers, etc, and it worked... for a short while. Unfortunate side effects occured though, in that I noticed Sarah started to try to hit Hannah when frustrated, and Hannah never seemed to make the connection when she was swatted, so DH and I decided this method is not working well for us and we are now taking a more gentle approach, removing them and sternly telling them "NO" when they are near a trouble situation. I can't wait till they're old enough to understand 123 magic, but till then, I guess swatting just isn't going to work for us.

 

I've always believed if it was good enough for mom my to use while I was a child, then it holds some validity with me. I got swatted and I've turned out alright. I'm not scarred in any way, so I too have swatted little hands at first from household dangers, ie, outlets and plugs mainly. They also know the tv and stereo equipment are off limits. They've also been curbed on throwing their food although they do get away with it alot more than I probably would like them to. I am a softy, but some things I will not let them do. I pretty much now only just give them a look and a stern "No" and they will pay attention.
It's my opinion that swatting hands works and I see nothing wrong with it. When they get older, I do plan on using time outs, but if that doesn't work, I will spank them.