Hair pulling and pushing

My 18-month old girl-girl twins are pulling hair and pushing each other all the time it drives me crazy. I take them and show them gentle or nice with thier hands, and it seems to work on occasion. Then the other one will just go up and push her sister for no reason. I am jsut running out of ideas, we have tried teh naughty chair, a slap to the hand, in the crib and showing nice. I always tell them it is not nice and to give their sister a hug, but it doesn't always work. HELP!!!!

Susie

 

I'm afraid that at that age your best bet is redirection. I think we all go through similar phases and what I did is alway say "We don't pull hair" and then moved the offending child away from the other one and try to get them to focus on something else. I know it's absolutely frustrating to have to repeat it over and over again.

 

So far my biggest challenge with this has been to try and figure out a way to stop them from hitting, pulling, pushing, steamrolling, etc and let them know that it's not nice when....

The the child being hit, pulled, pushed, steamrolled, etc is laughing her little butt off and thinks it's hysterical :huh:

I just keep reinforcing 'gentle', demonstrating on me and try to redirect!

 

Same with me, I just keep saying no & try to redirect their attention to something else. It is so frustrating, though, isn't it? Luke is worse than Lila, he will hit her & she will just cry, I haven't seen her hit him yet. He seems to do it most when he is frustrated by something, so I try to anticipate when it's going to happen, but it doesn't always work.

 

This age was very difficult for us. I was only working a couple days a week and remembered having lots of thought about why exactly I was only working a couple days! LOL. It gets better. Keep talking to them. they do get it. Redirect, remind them we do not hit,bite,push. We still have to remind occasionally, that they have the right to be mad, frustrated or upset but they do not get to be mean or hurt others.

 

I will reply to your post as soon as I have maanaged to stop my two fighting

 

My twins are almost 21 months old, and Anthony is the hair puller/pusher. I have never actually seen her do it to him, but he is pulling her hair and pushing her a lot. If we are around other kids, he never does it....just to Clare. I also have tried the naughty chair (he thinks this is fun), telling him "We don't pull hair", and redirecting. Unfortunately, I think this is a stage and we just have to be consistent. I noticed Anthony likes the attention he gets from doing it. Redirection is a good idea.

 

We've been redirecting and giving time outs. Time outs are most effective for us. This is simply a cruel stage and I can't wait for them to outgrow it!

 

QUOTE(Boni @ Apr 4 2008, 03:31 AM) [snapback]704161[/snapback]
I will reply to your post as soon as I have maanaged to stop my two fighting



:lol: Same here! :rotflmbo:

I have to dislodge Annika's teeth from her sister's ear before I can reply!!

 

We having been going through that for a while now. Twins are over two now. We finally hit a point where something needed to change, since ds was a contributing factor (he is four). We make sure there are consequences. For the twins, they are taken to their crib (whoever is the one who hit, etc) for a few minutes. I read for time outs-- it should be a minute for each year. For ds, we put him in his room for four minutes. We just started doing this and it has worked. We told the kids we will not tolerate hitting, pulling hair or biting anymore.

 

This has been really frustrating for me lately as only one of the boys scratches (drawing blood) and pinches...meanwhile the other bites...unfortunately its not to eachother all the time - I get it alot and so do some of the little kids at daycare!!
My boys aren't talking yet and I sometimes wonder, as I know it is a stage, but if its also frustration that they can't say "no" or "go away" to eachother...

I get frustrated because I know when one does it to the other he's getting a reaction out of me (ie. saying no, moving him, time out etc), I wonder if thats why they do it...to get attention...

I don't think there is necessarily a winning solution...

 

My DS pushes, pulls, and pulls my DD's hair. I obviously stop it and then try redirection. My DD will bite; however, only if she's really frustrated. This is a very overwhelming phase!

 

Keep plowing away at reminding, redirecting, etc... It will get better. They do eventually outgrow this but not before you have a head full of grey hair.

 

QUOTE(Boni @ Apr 4 2008, 03:31 AM) [snapback]704161[/snapback]
I will reply to your post as soon as I have maanaged to stop my two fighting


yeah me too!! nothing is working here! Poor Ava is still getting bit!!