had the worst afternoon...really need discipline help

i lost it today on one of my LOs and feel so awful and guilty.
one of my LOs is CONSTANTLY hitting his brother. he wont get something he wants and he'll smack him across the face...bite him...hit him....whatever it is. the other LO will fight back and i really lost it today. i am at a loss. standing in the corner doesn't work...he just stands there, screams and whales. i cant even get him to come out and hug and say he's sorry...

i screamed my a** off today at him and literally lost it. im at a loss. i dont know what to do.

 

First of all, those days happen! Toddlers are especially good at button pushing.

I remember you posted recently about bedtime issues.. has that been resolved? I have one kid who is an absolute beast if he doesn't get enough sleep. The tantrums, hitting, whining, pushing are all directly correlated with how much sleep he gets. That would be the first thing I would really work on if there's behaviour issues.

Keep up the time outs; don't give any warning at all, hitting or anything is an automatic time out. I find what works with my little fireball is to hold his arms by his side and talk calmly to him directly in his face about what he did wrong and why he's being punished. I ask him to say sorry and hug after, but he's two, he doesn't always get it.. the key is that I am consistent, but it might take him a while to get there.

When the fighting was really bad for a while I staggered naps (when they still took naps!) and spent some one on one time with each of them during the day so that I could work on any behaviour issues one on one and give them a break from each other.

Also, I just ignore the tantrums and give all kinds of attention to the kid who is being calm and happy. It takes a while but they eventually learn that behaving like that doesn't earn them anything.

Good luck! That phase is the worst!

 

When that happens I put the offender in their room, and I close the door (there's nothing in there really). I only let them out when they calm down. Last time it happened with DD I checked on her a few times, and she was only willing to apologize after the 3rd time (which was 30 minutes later). But she eventually did... stick to your guns!

 

I agree with both Fran and Jen!
When there is hitting, pushing, smacking or biting (the last doesn't really happen anymore)...I do the same as Fran. I send the offender up to their room and they cannot come down until they calm down. When they are calm, the offender has to apologize to the injured party and me. I will say, "there is no hitting/pushing/etc. in this house or outside of this house...EVER." After that the matter is dropped and we move on. If it happens again, I do the same thing.
Also want to add, do not feel about about losing your stuff. We have all been there. Kids take you there!

 

I need to add though... I only do it when it's totally unwarranted. Frankly when one pester the other and the other one hits in reply (pretty much DD being really pushy and getting hit), I just tell them that you don't hit, and you don't pester your brother when he says no. I can't say I sympathize much... That's awful I guess, but that's teaching her natural consequences too right?