Grocery shopping

First let me say the twins are almost 3 (in January) and their brother is 16 months. So they are still quite young.

Since the birth of the baby, I've found that the only time I can go grocery shopping is during work. I will actually leave work early to go to the store before I have to pick the kids up from daycare. We try to have everything put away even before we go to get them so we don't have little kids trying to put their hands on/in everything!

lately though that's been a problem. And then it seems it is my sole responsibility to do the shopping. DH won't help. This annoys me becuase I have to take so much time off work, and we both work full time.

I don't like leaving DH with all 3 kids, cuz I feel like I'm shirring on my parental responsibilities, and taking all 3 to the store (even if DH does come and we make it a family event) would just be disasterous from how I see it. The girls had just started wanting to touch/hold/eat everything when we stopped doing that...


What do you do about grocery shopping???

 

Ummm, honestly, your husband needs to watch all of the kids, or 2 of them. It's not fair to you to work full time too and him not pitch in by watching them for one night every week while you get groceries. Or if that doesn't work, send him to get groceries and make sure that he gets you tampons. Weekly. :rofl:

OTOH, I take my two with me. They get in the cart and we talk about the groceries and they snack. I do take the kids out at least daily somewhere so they're used to doing stuff though.

ETA Do you feel that part of your parental duty is providing food for the kids? That might be the mind change that you need to embrace to not feel guilty going grocery shopping.

 

I've done different things:

1) Push the boys in the stroller (i.e., they're locked up) and my 3 yr old walks beside me. This is if I get just a few items.

2) Put the boys in the big "car cart" where they can pretend they're driving a car. My 3 yr old gets to push the kiddy cart that specific store has.

3) Leave them home.

Granted my twins are 17 mo old and it's my singleton who's 3, but she would probably love the car cart, but she's having fun pushing her cart all over the store.

 

I've done a few things

1. take the girls they 'help' load the cart by walking. Always interesting, but this is short trips only- they are pretty good at holding on the side of the cart between items.
2. take the girls and put them in the cart--pull a cart behind me if I need to (I often do this)
3. go after the girls go to bed
4. Have DH pick up some things on his way home while I stay home with girls, do a bigger trip another time

I really think you need to talk to your DH. You may do the shopping, but then he should assist in watching, helping, going, etc to help as well-- even if he watched 2 kids and you took 1. You could really talk, use shopping as an experience with one child much easier. At that age, my girls loved helping me count the apples, find the cereal, etc. You will be suprised at how much they learn, but when you have 2 or more kids it gets crazier!

 

I like the idea of taking one kid on each trip, how do I explain to an almost 3 year old that they have to stay home with Daddy though?? I've tried in the past to just take one girl (start a 'mommy and me' day) and that ended in me taking both girls becuase SOMEONE (whoever I was not intending on taking that day) had a serious meltdown/tantrum becuase she couldn't go...

I might try taking the baby with this weekend. One is definetly manageable. Two even is manageable, just space wise is an issue at their age. I had always brought either snack or bottles even when they were still in carseats...

I used to try to do small, weekly trips so it didn't take so much time, but I just found that it's easier to do one big, monthly shopping trip and just buy produce throughout the month. That saves me $$ from my experience. Even with coupons, I was spending to much money on the weekly trips.

I agree DH should help. I've never been bothered by it till this week when we flat out refused to go. Said, 'No, I'll bring you the car and you can pick me up after your done' (We also carpool to save on gas) THAT ticked me off that he wasn't even WILLING to go. :grr: Maybe I will make him go and buy some tampons, and douche, and... LOL :rotflmbo:

 

I do various things depending on whether my husband is working the weekends. My boys will be 3 in February and baby girl is soon to be one.

If DH is not working, I go in the morning after getting the kiddos up and he watches all three.

If DH is working half a day, I will go during the boys' nap time and take baby girl with me after she wakes (which is usually before the boys) and DH watches the boys.

If DH works all weekend, I take all three and we use the "super buggy" where I can put the boys in the toddler seat things and baby rides in the seat of the buggy. When we get to the back of the store (Wal-mart) and it's not too crowded I let the boys walk beside the buggy, but they know the rules...they have to walk beside it and if I tell them to hold it, they must...if not, then back in the seat. Most of the time, they just like to ride and point stuff out to me.

 

For big trips, most of the time I leave them home with DH. For the smaller during the week trips, I bring them with me.

 

I don't take them. ardon: My DH or I (usually DH) does the grocery shopping on the weekends. And he is home early enough during the week as well that we can run to get something if we need it.


There is nothing wrong with leaving DH with all 3 kids while you go shopping.

 

DH and I both WOH full-time -- I usually do the shopping after the kids are asleep, while DH stays home. Sometimes he will get a few things on the way home from work, or I will get a few nonperishable things before I go pick up the kids. Occasionally I take one child after dinner and the other stays home with DH (though recently they have both been wanting to stay home -- he plays games with them that are more fun than shopping with Mommy).

The shopping is primarily my job, which sort of annoys me, but also makes sense because DH works longer hours than I do, and I do the vast majority of meal planning and cooking.

As to how you tell a 3-year-old that she isn't coming with you -- you just tell her. Yes, she will have a fit, especially the first few times. But they'll both get used to it, especially if you make it clear that they are taking turns. (Sometimes mine still have fits when they don't get to go someplace with me, but so be it -- kids don't always get to decide what works best for the family.)

 

Lots of great advice!! I would always go after the kids go to bed, or on Sunday when DP is home watching football anyway, so the kids could stay with her. :hug: Hope you find a solution that works for you. If I had to go alone and had 3 kids, the older 2 would go in a stroller and I would pull a cart with the baby in its seat behind me. It would be awkward, but the only way I could think of doing it.

 

We have a thing where they get to take turns going with Daddy, and now Caleb has been worked into the rotation too. My DH usually does the grocery shopping. If I were doing it though, we'd probably do this too. I'll take all 3 for a small trip, but for the weekly shopping, no way. They just now that they each have a turn, and the one that stays home with me gets to do something fun, like make a craft or watch a movie.

We got to BJ's usually once every three weeks, and that's a family trip. It's easier to manage the kids with two of us.

How is it shirking your responsibility to leave all three home with DH though? They are his kids too. Is he shirking if he leaves them home with you?

 

Is it possible to have your groceries delivered? Many stores have online services (Peapod for Giant/Stop&Shop and Safeway has one too) where you can get everything dropped on your doorstep for a nominal fee. It might just be easier in the short-term, while you're waiting for all of your kids to be able to handle a trip to the store.

Good luck!

 

now that mine are 3 and potty trained (and I'm on the East Coast) Wegmans has a play center thats staffed with 2 baby sitters, they have a climbing apparatus, blocks, toys, coloring, and sometimes a movie....DH and I drop them off (you get an hour and a half time limit) and shop to our hearts content....

 

I can't really add anything....just want to say that I agree with pp's advice. I don't see anything wrong with leaving all 3 home with DH. ardon: If I can wait until DH gets home, then that is exactly what I do. They stay home with him and then I go. If I need to go while DH is at work, I usually just use one of the "super buggies" if I am getting alot of food.

 

Up until this past summer, I took two carts. I put the girls in one and pulled them while I put my groceries in another. Now they are too big to do that, so I let them walk beside me, but most of the time one wants to sit in the seat while the other stands on the end. My two always go with me because they love to go grocery shopping, so I rarely get to go by myself. I feel like I'm on a mini-vacation when I get to go alone. If I needed to, however, I would leave mine with DH...it's just they throw hellish fits if I do.

I also agree with pp's, you shouldn't feel guilty for leaving them with DH.

 

The grocery store trip is a daunting task without kids so kudos for doing it all.

In my house both kids go as often as possible. To me, it's a good way for them to learn words, colors, what to call people (DD used to call all men daddy until a store trip where we explained she only has one daddy everyone else is a man).

Anyway, I took the kids by myself last weekend and before we went in I told them I need them to be good listners and when we were done they could have cashews and ride Sandy (the mechanical horse). They were great up until the end when they got a little fussy but it was lunch time when we went so that was my fault.

I think the trip to the store is great for kids but you have to do what works for you. I know how you feel about leaving them with DH but you are both in this together so...either you all go, take one, or he stays with them all, or continue to go by yourself...whatever works.

I work full time and DH stays at home so if I go somewhere with out the kids I feel like I am cheating them because that was time that I could be with them. That's why you either need to engage DH in this whole thing or forgive yourself for doing what you need to do for your family.

Good Luck and big hugs!!
Lindia

 

i throw them in teh shopping cart basket and run thru the store as fast as i can to get what i need... seriously, i'm out of breath when i get to the register :laughing:

 

Hmmm...maybe I'm lucky, since I've never had issues with the kids. They drive me nutty sometimes with the endless "I want..." thing, but that seems to be better now that I've told them before we go in that we're only getting what's on our list and nothing else. They know to stay near me and out of the way of other people, but that took a while to teach. For a long time, I just went shopping a little bit every few days until they got better, and now we can go for longer periods of time. They like to help me put things in the cart, and I reward them at the end with pushing them around quickly up and down an empty aisle a few times each before we go pay. I also let them have one ride on the helicopter ride right outside the store (the kind of ride that you pop in a couple quarters and it moves a bit for a few minutes) if they've been really good listeners and followed all the rules (which I remind them of before we go in).

Shopping can still get nutty, but I just allow for lots of time and it works pretty well. I wish I had some good pointers for you! You have my sympathy. *hug*

 

If I grocery shop in the weekend, I usually leave the girls with DH. I don't think that is shirring my parenting responsibilities at all. I sometimes take them, they behave pretty well at the store. But if I had a 16 month old too they'd always stay home (or at least one of them would). In the winter I often go at lunch because the groceries can stay in my car in the cold.

Now lately, we all go to Costco on the weekend.