grabbing mommy's face

both of our boys have started grabbing our faces when we hold them but owen in particular has gotten really committed to the practice. they grab noses and lips and any handful of skin they can get and they grip TIGHT. i try to keep their nails trimmed but i don't think it's possible to trim them so short that they can't scratch. i have a sore spot on my cheek this morning and a little red spot from where owen's fingernail caught me last night. and i'm afraid i'll find a bald spot on my scalp from where owen managed to tug a handful out of my ponytail.

i know they're not trying to hurt, they're just excited to see me and they're always smiling and babbling when they do it. owen has recently learned to kiss so sometimes he's pulling my face to his mouth so he can give me a slobbery "MWAH!"

how, at this age, do i teach them to be gentle? they're only just learning their names, so they definitely don't understand "gentle" or "careful" yet. and although i'm not one of those parents who refuses to say "no," i don't want to be stern about something that they're so happy about if it's just a phase.

i guess what i'm wondering is whether this is a phase they'll outgrow on their own as they gain more control over their actions or do i need to be firm about teaching them "gentle" so it doesn't get worse later? and if so, how on earth do i do that?

 

i would suggest just gently taking the offending hand(s), say "gentle" & place them gently on your face. it probably won't work right away (or even anytime soon), but they will get it eventually - it's amazing how much they can really understand! also, that way, you're avoiding saying "no!" - instead you're telling them what you WOULD like them to do. GL!

 

What I've done with all my babies is go ahead and start teaching them "gentle." If you firmly but gently grasp and press the spot in the palm just above the padded part, it relaxes the muscles of the fingers so that they spread out a bit. (Try it on your own hand to get the idea.) So what I would do whenever they did hair-pulling, face-grabbing, etc., is gently take their hands there, then run my thumb up their hand to spread the fingers all the way, all while saying "gentle," smiling and helping them give me a gentle pat. This doesn't hurt or upset them, so I had no qualms about doing it the instant they started accidentally grabbing or scratching. It may take them a few months to get the idea, but they do.

 

I have also taught mine "gentle"-they are decent with it most of the time and have their moments when they are not gentle. When they would go for the face, we would say "Ow, that hurts Mommy/Daddy, touch Mommy and Daddy's face like this" and have them pat the face in a gentle motion.

 

It's inherent to boys named "Owen" apaprently. I just held his hands away and kept saying "No. That *hurts* Mommy." and it stopped eventually. Until then, try mittens, or the sleepers with the foldover hands. Good luck!

 

QUOTE(miss_bossy18 @ May 13 2009, 07:10 AM) [snapback]1311745[/snapback]
i would suggest just gently taking the offending hand(s), say "gentle" & place them gently on your face. it probably won't work right away (or even anytime soon), but they will get it eventually - it's amazing how much they can really understand! also, that way, you're avoiding saying "no!" - instead you're telling them what you WOULD like them to do. GL!

Ditto this. Mine are doing the exact same thing right now, especially DS. I just take his hand and stroke it to relax it, and then I place it lightly on my cheek and say "gentle." My friend does the same thing but says "soft touches" or "soft."

One tip is to lightly put his hand to your face and slowly stroke your skin with it. If their hand is in one spot they're more tempted to grab, but if you brush it down your cheek, they'll open up their hand to feel with their fingers. :good:

 

I use the terms 'nice' and 'not nice' when they grab others [or each other]. They do like to grab nose, lips and slap at each other's face and eye lids :vava: They also like to grab anything [clothes, skin, limbs, etc] to stand up. They are fast! And when they're both doing it at the same time it makes it kinda difficult :lol:

Also they LOVE playing with hair! DH lets them grab and pull at his hair and they squeal and giggle while doing it. I let my hair down sometimes and let them play with it, but once they are 'not nice' I tell them and then put it back up. They've been pretty good with it lately and when they tug and hurt me [and I say ouch!] they'll cry as if saying 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you.

 

My babies do the same thing but they are starting to grow out of it a bit now.
Hang in there.

 

They do grow out of this. My little girl went through a stage of grabbing everyone by the nostrils. Thankfully that passed within a few weeks, or I would have had to get a nose stud to cover the hole