Good touch/ bad touch

I don't really have any reason to be concerned, but I didn't know when to really start talking about this with the kids. The only people they are left alone with besides DH and I are my parents, and two hrs at preschool. How do you approach it without freaking them out, or scaring them?

 

We haven't started, but then they are only with us or at preschool.

 

We started when they were in the bath trying to touch each other all the time. It wasn't so much "good touch/bad touch" as about privates: what are privates, why they are and who is allowed to touch privates and what to do if someone else tries. But, at first it really was about private parts: mine, theirs, other peoples.

 

Our approach is like Ellen's. This is yours and only you may touch it, or Mommy or Daddy to help you dress, or the doctor if you are sick and Mommy/Daddy is there. I didn't go into a "good/bad" thing because that's really abstract for little kids to understand.

 

I did the same as the PP. When my oldest starting touching and asking about her private parts we would just have a casual conversation about the fact that her vagina is her private area and no-one should touch her there unless they are helping her with her diaper (then) or wiping (now). When we're having our casual chat I also include the fact that doctors may need to look in that area when they are giving her a check-up to make sure she's healthy. We haven't spent a lot of time on the "what to do if" part because I don't know that she's old enough to really understand that...

We never initiated the conversation at a specific age. It was just one we started having when it fit into the conversations she was initiating herself.

I think it's a great conversation to have on a somewhat regular basis, but only in a casual, yet serious, manner.

 

Thank you all, I really didn't know how to approach it.

 

I just started talklng to my oldest DD about it 3-4 months ago. She will be turning 4 next month. I thought it was time since she is starting to go places without me, pre-school, Sunday school and eventually playdates. I was also married to someone who had been molested by a family friend and I know how much it affected his whole life, including the demise of our marriage so this is very important subject to me. I have yet to tell my DD the real names for private areas, but she does call the entire area her butt or her private area. We have discussed that no one except Mommy, Daddy, Grandma or the doctor are allowed to look at her private area. Some of it most have sunk in becase one day when I pat her on the rear, she told me not to touch her private area. It's truly sad that we have to rob our children of some of their innocence to protect them, but the consequences of not talking to them about it are worse in my opinion.

 

We have done it recently. Like Ellen, we had the discussions first in the bathtub. Then we were prepping them for their upcoming doctor appt/well visit.

 

Our local library has a program for kids ages 3-5. It's set up like a story hour with puppets. I've brought the boys a couple times about 5-6 months apart. Check around to see if you have something available in your area. They tell the kids that the only people who can touch them there are people who are trying to keep them clean or healthy.