Going to the mall/groceries with 2 yr old twins!

Hi there,

Ok, there was a time when I was able to take the girls out alone & do my chores but now even with my dh it's becoming a nightmare! The girls are 23 months now & they are pretty good & no longer get the tantrums at home now. But going to the mall/supermarket all they want to do is run around & touch & have everything from the shelves! I prefere them to stay in the cart & not let them walk around. If they dont get what they want bang come the tantrum/screaming etc. I take so many things to keep them occupied but it's not helping.

How do you all do it?? The thought of me going alone scares me! lol! Oh & getting back into the car is even worse nightmare! lol!

Please shed some lite to this and tell me it gets better! Thanks in advance.

 

If they like going shopping, give them one warning and then be prepared to leave the store. It will be a pain because you won't get your shopping done (you can have a backup plan for you or DH to do it later), but they will learn that if they don't behave, they don't get to go shopping.

Also, I do not let kids out of the cart. Period. The only exception is if I'm with just one child and she wants to get out while I'm checking out -- she can do that as long as she stays right next to me and doesn't take anything off the shelves. Well, now that they're 3, I will sometimes (if I'm shopping with just one) let her walk next to me through the store. But again, if she touches anything, it's back in the cart. And I didn't even do that when they were 2.

If they don't like going shopping anyway, it might be worth it to rearrange your schedule so you don't have to take them -- go after they're in bed, or have DH go on his way home (if he works and you are home with them), etc. There are some ages at which it's better just to stay out of situations that are really challenging. They will get better.

 

I agree with the previous post. Mine never leave the cart. When I have to take my three kids to something like grocery shopping, I keep it to a minimum. I allow myself 20-30 minutes in the store, what can I get done in this time. I go for the important stuff first. I have found that the kids lose steam and start misbehaving the longer we are in the store. I am always checking out before the 30 minute mark and we are out the door. I save big trips for when the kids are sleeping and i can go alone. Suckers are always a bribe prize for them when we get in the car if they have behaved.

 

Same as PP---at age 2 they did not leave the cart. Ever. Even when were were 2 on 2 (2 adults to 2 kids). Just too much trouble and then they ALWAYS wanted out. No way.

Now at 3-- mine are fairly good and HOLD on the cart from the side or ride. THey know if they are naughty they have to ride. We've had a few meltdowns, but overall 80% of the time they are good.

At 2- no way- they did not even know that they COULD not ride.LOL. Same as Mall--we used the stroller until they were almost 3.

 

I try to keep them in the stroller or cart if at all possible. If I have a lot of groceries to get, and there is no double cart, I usually let Emma walk, as she is more likely to stay with me and not touch things. Having them both walk, at this point, is pretty much impossible if I want to get anything accomplished.

 

I think I would plan a trip to the mall with the full intention to only accomplish what some of the pp mentioned. The goal is NOT to get groceries or shop for anything, but to basically teach them. You might feel stronger about dealing with the behaviour instead of the focus on the groceries. After 2 or 3 times out, re-evaluate how they are able to handle things.

good luck !!

 

Mine never leave the trolley as they just run off when they do! I feed them ( a lot!) sing them songs and generally play with them as well as i can. I dont really care if people think im a looney lol if my children arnt throwing tantrums and being obnoxiouis then i dont care what people think! As we dont use our buggy anymore i just hold there hands for dear life and try and keep them occupied lol
x

 

Mine were 3 before they even knew that there was an option of no cart/no stroller in stores. I would make them stay in the cart, and make your trips short like the PP's mentioned.

 

Usually one wants me to hold them and one will stay in the cart. I always bring little cups for each of them to put snacks in. If we are going to the grocery store we buy blueberries and have the produce people wash them off for us. I then put them in the cups and they eat them up. It is like a treat. We have gone through two containers in one trip...it is an expensive treat that results in very odd looking poop but, it keeps them happy. I also let them hold things when they are in the cart and sometimes will buy something that they can play with while we are shopping but is not really a toy...i.e. tupperware, spray bottle, etc...
We do alright in these situations, so far anyway. I am sure when we are closer to the age of your twins we will probably be in the same boat!

Oddly enough, I have noticed that they are way better when it is just me and them vs. having DH or my parents (if they are in town visiting) with us. It is like they know that I can only handle so much when it is just me and them...

 

Granted mine will be 20 months old (Feb 23rd) we have no problems going out. I still keep mine in a stroller when we are in the stores and if my husband or neighbor go with me they each get to sit in the cart seat. I NEVER LET THEM RUN AROUND!!! I would lose my mind if I let them run on outings. I have always used my strollers into the 3rd and 4th years because of running issues. Taking them out of the stroller for me is pretty easy when we are out, and playdates at Chick-Filet are fun because they get to play in the indoor play gym. That is the only place so far that I have been ok with them running around. They are definitely not old enough to walk next to us in the stores yet. They are kind of short and cause our backs to get sore so that is another reason.

1. I always have them fed before I leave for errand days! That is a major key to getting out and about.
2. When I have the kids with me I only get what I need and then leave. The longer I am in the store they get bored with the ride and then want to start fussing and pulling each others hair just to do something.
3. I always carry snacks that they can munch on while we are out. These are my last resort things such as crackers, cookies, a suckers, and sippy cups, even toys for distraction.
4. Also on errand days they only nap in the car. If they have a full day of errands and then nap at home they won't sleep at night. So mine do not sleep after we get home no matter how cranky they are until 7pm or 8pm on weekends.

It is really up to how you deal with their tantrums too. If you react to them ever time they get upset about something, then they feel the need to react that way again. The more you say "No, No" the more they will do it. At home I just pick them up and separate them, not easy to do on the road. Everyone has their own thing. Going out is fun and easy for me. The only real problems that I have are the million questions that I get like, "Are they twins?" "How old are they" and others. That will never stop tho, I am sure of that. It is really a trial and error thing. If they do not do good together while you are out, maybe you could try taking one at a time while your spouse has the other. Sometimes they need to be separated from each other because they feed off of each other.

I hope that you find something that works for you!
Meshell

 

Thanks Ladoes for yr replies. I too do not let them out of the cart/stroller but as you say not to be longer than 30 mins max!
It's good to know it's not just my kids.

Thanks again
Heena