Going nuts getting 1-yr-old twins to sleep all night! Help!

Hello Everyone,

I thank God for this resource because I've always found answers - and plenty of support - anytime I've had a problem.

I am a VERY busy mom of B/G year-old twins and a six-year-old big sis. Between work and commute, I'm out of the house about 12 hrs per day and my husband is an international flight attendant who can be away up for 4 to 5 days at a time. I rely heavily on family during the day to help with the kids.

At night and on weekends, I'm on duty. My aunt who watches the kids during the day has the twins on a good sleep schedule and she says they are calm when awake and sleep well.

When I get home, the babies cry a lot and don't want to sleep. They try to nurse all night in tag team fashion. I've tried changing to bottles at night or to somehow get them to sleep through the night, but I feel like without a plan it always falls a part. I want to order a book or find a good method, but everything seems to be about newborns or toddlers, and they're in that in between stage.

Could someone please help? I need a good method that's proven to work to get kids to sleep through the night. I'm getting really frustrated and need sleep soon.

Thanks!

 

Sorry you are going through a difficult time at the mo. I don't think there is one proven method. It really is what works for you in your own situation - trying different things if one isn't working. I think consistency is the key. When you say nursing I presume breastfeeding? If they are getting enough food and milk during the day they really do not need to eat at night - do you feel that they don't need to eat? Is it just a habit now? Personally, when Elliot was in this stage at around 7 months - I knew it was just habit and he really didn't need it - I just went cold turkey and stopped breastfeeding (I was ready to stop). It took a couple of nights but really after around 4/5 nights he slept through. I would definitely try just going cold turkey on the eating thing. They will soon get the message. Also how much are they sleeping during the day? If mine sleep more than 2 half hours total - they have a hard time going down. How long are they awake from their last nap till bedtime? If not very long, again that could be a problem. Hope I helped a little! Good luck.

 

We used Babywise. It got us all on a schedule and by 12 weeks they were sleeping ~8 hours at night. Although babywise is easiest to do from the start, technically you can start it at anytime.

I agree with AndiG though, you just have to find what works for you. At 1 year old, they should definatley have the body weight to sleep through the night without needing to eat. Good Luck!!

 

From others at this site, and many family members, read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth (sp?). It has instructions for every age, and includes recommendations for BFing as well.

You need to get all of you on a schedule at night. Feed them at 10 PM and 3 AM. One then the other, if you can. Don't feed them otherwise during the night hours. It will take a few days, but they will get used to the schedule and will start sleeping better. And you too! Good luck.

 

I am not reading anyone else's responses before posting and will probably be the odd man out.

If you are gone 12+ hours a day & Daddy is gone days at a time, I would try co-sleeping. Many children will need to get enough contact in no matter when it happens. If you are willing to try I would safely set up for them to be with you all night. Easier for nursing too (I know I slept through most night nursings even past 1+yr).

I know all of my children slept longer and more peacefully when they were next to me.

Win win situation.

 

At a year old, they shouldn't need to eat during the night, especially all night long. Are they really crying, or just fussing? It may be that you are unintentionally getting them riled up a bit. You may want to try putting them down, and just letting them be. You can check on them if they are truly crying, but otherwise leave them to work it out. The fussing in the evening is actually a normal thing. That is why most call it the "witching hour". I disagree about more than 2 hours of napping being too much. My boys always napped almost 4 hours every day--2 two hour naps, and then when we went to one nap, a 3-4 hour nap, and they still slept for 12-13 hours every night.

Also, talk to your Aunt, and find out what her routine is, that keeps them happy and well contented, you may find that following her routine gives them the consistancy they need, and makes everyone happier.

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Jan 31 2009, 07:48 AM) [snapback]1170222[/snapback]
At a year old, they shouldn't need to eat during the night, especially all night long. Are they really crying, or just fussing? It may be that you are unintentionally getting them riled up a bit. You may want to try putting them down, and just letting them be. You can check on them if they are truly crying, but otherwise leave them to work it out. The fussing in the evening is actually a normal thing. That is why most call it the "witching hour". I disagree about more than 2 hours of napping being too much. My boys always napped almost 4 hours every day--2 two hour naps, and then when we went to one nap, a 3-4 hour nap, and they still slept for 12-13 hours every night.

Also, talk to your Aunt, and find out what her routine is, that keeps them happy and well contented, you may find that following her routine gives them the consistancy they need, and makes everyone happier.

Just make myself clear - with my children 2 hours is enough - I did not mean for everyone!

 

QUOTE(Callen @ Jan 31 2009, 12:41 AM) [snapback]1170102[/snapback]
I am not reading anyone else's responses before posting and will probably be the odd man out.

If you are gone 12+ hours a day & Daddy is gone days at a time, I would try co-sleeping. Many children will need to get enough contact in no matter when it happens. If you are willing to try I would safely set up for them to be with you all night. Easier for nursing too (I know I slept through most night nursings even past 1+yr).

I know all of my children slept longer and more peacefully when they were next to me.

Win win situation.


I have done co-sleeping with all three of my children. However, my experience is different from Callen's. Personally, I have found the only way to curb the all night nursing is to put some physical distance between us. If they are next to me, they will nurse! It is exhausting! Where are your babies sleeping now?

I didn't have the nerve to cut off my twins from night nursing. My Dh was away or working most nights and I was scared to make them stop. As a result, they nursed at night until they were over 2 years old! To be honest, it was more of my fear of what it could be like if I didn't nurse them. It was more of a habit for them and I was afraid of the crying, hurting their feelings, not getting any sleep, etc.

The best thing you can do is come up with a plan that you can follow and be consistent! Start a routine from the time you get home until bedtime. I know that this is the most difficult time of day!

So, what time do you get home? Do you have to make dinner then? What happens next? Having the same bedtime will help, too!

Can you set up a plan for when DH is going to be home for 4-5 nights in a row? Put him on night duty and you are not allowed to nurse them? I know how it is, if they see Mama, they will go crazy! There will be a lot of crying at first, but they will learn. It won't be easy, but you need your sanity!

 

So Im briefly reading others posts and my thoughts make me wonder:
1. How many naps a day do they take?
2. How long are those naps?
3. How long are they awake from the last nap until bed time?
4. What time do they go to bed at night and what time do they get up for the day?
5. How many ounces of liquid (milk/water etc) are they drinking during the day?
6. How much are they eating?
7. What is your current sleeping arrangement?
8. How does your aunt put them down for naps? How do you get them down for bed?

I know when my babies were younger and I was working full-time they ate ALL NIGHT LONG but alot of that I think was "reverse cycling" and their attempt to contect with me and spend mommy time. If you are nursing, you know its a major source of comfort! If they dont see you (or your breast) all day its the only oppurtunity they may have to connect with you. Can you all sleep together so you can sleep and still meet their increasing need to be with you?

I think I may have more advice based on the questions above...