Going it alone with twins

We have 3 week old twins, a boy and girl, and my husband just got a job working out of state. This obviously means i will be dealing alone. I have the faith that i can do it but it isnt going to be easy. A short history of the first 3 weeks of their life----they were born at 35 weeks gestation on Friday April 13 by a c-section. They then spent 13 days in the NICU which was very hard on all of us. They are home and have been for a little over a week now. Overall they are good babies of course, they wake up about every 2-3 hours to eat. They are happy babies in that they only ever cry when they need food or a clean diaper. Anyhow, daddy is taking off to work in Seattle, he will be home on weekends which is Portland. In 3-4 weeks he is leaving for 45 days to Alaska. He works for the merchant marines which is basically a civilian Navy. The reason we are doing this, is because in Portland we had a hard time finding work for him that offered a pay we could make ends meet on, and gad medical fir all of us at a decent rate. I have a 7 year old daughter from a previous marriage and she is a huge help. I do fear however that i will be overwhelmed and i dont know how to handle both babies at one time if they are crying or real upset or something. I mean i do have help in the line of family, my mom, dad and sister are all within 5 minutes of my place. So not to big of a deal i guess. So the main point of this post i guess is to ask if anyone has any tips for me.....how do i manage to clean my house, prepare to move to Seattle in 6 weeks, while still taking care of the babies and myself???

 

My hubby works out of town quite a bit. I have 3 month old twins, and he is gone for weeks at a time. I know how you feel about going it alone with your babies. I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old as well as the twins. You pretty much just have to resign yourself to the fact your house is NOT going to be perfect, and if the babies cry, then they cry. You can't be superwoman, so don't try to be. I send you big (((HUGS))). Hang in there!!!

 

My answer is routine routine routine! That is what works for me (I am the only adult in the house). Sometimes it is inevitable, a baby will cry but I got it down pretty well in terms of who needed what first in order to minimize this. I also became pretty good at rocking one in a chair with my foot or sitting next to the swing while I was feeding one and singing to both. They got on a pretty regular 'bedtime' at about 9 weeks so I would take 30 minutes after that time to do some chores and if I couldn't get everything done in that 30 minutes then it waited until the next day. I still do the 30 minute thing and they are 5! It is amazing when you time it how little time it takes to do things (3 minutes to load the dishwasher, 2 minutes to sweep the floor, 4 minutes to switch the laundry etc etc etc).

Good luck and remember it is ok if things don't work exactly like you had planned and it is ok to have a good cry every now and then when it gets to you a little. I always felt much better after a good cry when things weren't going as I would have liked.

If you need help, ask for it! That is great your family is close but they may not be mind readers! If they are willing and able then call upon them when you need some help. We are not super hero's, we are mom's!!!

 

My husband also works out of state and I was terrified when he went back to work! It is quite an adjustment, but I have to work with what Ive got...ya know? We are also in the midst of a move putting the house on the market etc, which makes everything quite hectic with a 3 year old running around. I guess I dont have any magic words for you, but I do know what you are going through!!!

 

When you are frusterated, maybe get someone to watch the babies, and get out. Getting out, even for an hour, really does wonders for a twin mom. Hang in there, it will be tough, but you can do it.

 

I agree routine and do not expect anything but exhaustion and babies babies babies for the first 3 months. My husband was gone the last half of my pregnancy and 4 months after their birth so I was alone. I had my mom come and stay for a little bit but once they were gone I was alone. My house looks a mess all the time and I am never on time to go anywhere. I expected them to cry and they did...alot. One thing I did was try to put them to sleep awake and I think that may have helped. My mom said to me that she was proud of me for doing this and taking care of 2 babies at once b/c she said she didn't think she could do it. My response to her is I do it b/c I have to they are my kids, I love them and they depend on me I am their mom. Good luck you can do it.

 

Try to get into a routine. Rest, when they rest. Remember if the house is not perfect over time things will get easier and things like the house looking "normal" will come with it.

 

My hubby just got a job that is going to require a ton of on time out of state and I am reading all the replies. For me, I have come to accept that I just can not do it all. So, I don't. We have also decided that I am going to hire a house keeper because with three dogs, three kids and two cats, there is no way for one person to do it all.