Going In Public with Twins

Does anyone else get sick of going in public w/twins. The things people say to you such as : 1. Are they Twiins ( no I had babies 9 mths apart] 2. Are they identical [ do they look alike] 3. You have your hands full Ha HA [yeh like I don't know this] 4. I'm glad it's you and not me [well me to I would not trade it for a minute]. This happens everywhere, and I know alot of people do not see twins on a regular basis, but I grew up w/twin cousins so it is nothin to me. I just wish people would be more considerate.

 

I hate ppl asking me if they are identical and mine are b/g.....ummm hello should I take their diapers off??? As if the big bow doesn't let you know hey they are not identical.......I know there can be identical b/g twins but mine look so totally different......Jacob has dark blue eyes and dark blonde hair and Mekaila has light blue eyes and bleach blonde hair...


oh and the are they twins question....uhh duh

 

i've actually had a streak of good encounters over the last couple of weeks, which was a shocker. because i've gotten some amazingly rude comments.

like last weekend when we were at target and this older lady walked by and instead of saying, "twins? identical?" she simply oohed and had a peek and said, "identical!" she was able to figure it out for herself, and the other up side is that clearly we don't need that DNA test!

we were at home depot this weekend and not a single person asked us to confirm if they were twins. they were able to figure it out for themselves so by the time they opened their mouths they were saying things that made the conversation fun for a change. like the guy at the paint center who watched owen playing with his toy and jacob looking quietly around and said, "wow, you can already see their different personalities."

the annoying comments are sometimes unbearable, so it was nice to have a few good encounters.

 

QUOTE(piccologirl @ Apr 13 2009, 09:59 AM) [snapback]1270602[/snapback]
i've actually had a streak of good encounters over the last couple of weeks, which was a shocker. because i've gotten some amazingly rude comments.

like last weekend when we were at target and this older lady walked by and instead of saying, "twins? identical?" she simply oohed and had a peek and said, "identical!" she was able to figure it out for herself, and the other up side is that clearly we don't need that DNA test!

we were at home depot this weekend and not a single person asked us to confirm if they were twins. they were able to figure it out for themselves so by the time they opened their mouths they were saying things that made the conversation fun for a change. like the guy at the paint center who watched owen playing with his toy and jacob looking quietly around and said, "wow, you can already see their different personalities."

the annoying comments are sometimes unbearable, so it was nice to have a few good encounters.

That was a nice store adventure, i'm glad it dosent just bother me. I thought maybe I was just a little on edge.

 

Yes, I get it all the time, even "are they ID?" when mine are B/G! :huh: I remember a nurse asking me that one! Now Im just used to it. I think twins just attract a lot of attention - you´ll learn to enjoy it eventually!

 

I get that a lot too. I've found as they've gotten a bit older, the novelty has kinda worn off which I don't mind at all. I still get stopped quite a bit and I love it when they are dressed wearing pink jackets and people say "Oh...two boys!!". ummm...way to go Sherlock.

 

QUOTE(Brown Eyed Gurl @ Apr 13 2009, 09:56 AM) [snapback]1270596[/snapback]
I know there can be identical b/g twins...

not true. identical means a fertilized egg split. by that time the gender is already determined, so identical twins are always the same sex.

hey, if we twin moms don't always know, we can't blame parents of singletons for asking!

 

Actually, there is a VERY rare case when twins can be opposite sexes and still carry identical DNA. I have no idea how or why, but it has happened before.

To quote Wikipedia:
Among monozygotic twins, in extremely rare cases, twins have been born with opposite sexes (one male, one female). The probability of this is so vanishingly small (only 3 documented cases[35]) that multiples having different sexes is universally accepted as a sound basis for a clinical determination that in utero multiples are not monozygotic. When monozygotic twins are born with different sexes it is because of chromosomal birth defects.

And to Quote Discover Magazine:
Fraternal twins may be of opposite sexes; monozygotic twins are of the opposite sex only in the rarest circumstances.


Either way and more to the point, I find it funny when people come up to us. It doesn't bother me in the least. Usually people have nice things to say and if they are rude, I figure it is because they either are jealous or have some sort of loss in their past that makes them behave that way. I let it roll off most days but have been known to shoot back with sarcasm on occasion too. Cheer up chica! You have something amazing going on in your life. People are curious, that's all.

 

Yeah, its hard to get used to. . .Some people just don't think about what they are saying before they open their mouths! I do find that I get a LOT LESS people asking me about the babies if I keep them covered up. . .I just tell them they are sleeping (unless they are clearly babbling LOL)!

I just had one the rudest comments but an older lady at Target last week though. I had the babies and my 4 year old with me (who is very well behaved in stores) and she was asking me about the babies and then says "Is HE yours TOO?". .. I answered yes and she said " Oh Wow! YOU DO have your hands full!! I hope you are now done having kids!!"

Uggh! I wish I was good about having witty things to say back to people sometimes!! We are done having kids, but that is NONE of her business! And I only have 3! It's not like I have 10 kids who I can't control!

I try my best to just smile and ignore people who say rude things. . .but some people make it EXTRA hard!! LOL

Laura

 

I am always the odd one out on this topic!

I LOVE the attention we get when we go out. Always have since they were born.
However, a snippet of my background....many miserable childless years, miscarriages, surgeries, hundreds of thousands of dollars later and by the miracle of surrogacy I FINALLY became a mom!!!

So I say bring it on! I'd rather the attention given to me as a mother of twins, than the sadness of wishing I had a baby in my arms.

If I get the rare rude/ignorant comment, I deal. In the grand scheme of things it's really meaningless to me personally.

 

My guys are now almost five and do not look like twins. But it is now kind of fun to get the "how far apart are they?" and see the gears work and the recognition after I say "two minutes!"
It doesn't help that youre exhausted and the last thing you need is someone trying to be "cute" Enjoy this when you are able. i still can not believe we just registered for "K" in the fall.

 

QUOTE(Rose524 @ Apr 14 2009, 03:26 PM) [snapback]1272931[/snapback]
I am always the odd one out on this topic!

I LOVE the attention we get when we go out. Always have since they were born.

LOL...this is me, too. I think it's great that people take time to stop and talk. I always (well, most always) have plenty of time for little comments, and my kids have always loved the attention as well.

 

oh man, the comments are tiring. We live in a very applachian smaller college town area and I SERIOUSLY feel like we have the only set of twins in the county! Everywhere we go we are the center of attention...I dont care for it much.
Just today at the store one of the older store clerks was just staring and of course asking me if they are twins, and identical (b/g twins who are always dressed gender appropriate). Then another lady, obviously a mom, just walked by and said "dont you love it when random strangers just come stare at your babies" in a sarcastic voice...she just kept walking and didnt stop to stare or ask questions or anything,lol....I enjoyed her.

 

I don't mind it as long as I'm not in a hurry. Sometimes I don't understand why people ask or say certain things, like asking if they are twins or telling me that it's great I'm done having children in one go.

I would love to have more children. I don't know of any laws or rules that state that I should be done after having two children. I hope I'm blessed with more, but if not, I will still be very happy with my 2 wonderful miracles.

 

I agree with Lizzy. If I'm in a hurry, I'm very short with people, but if I'm not, I like educating the world on twins. I tend to say the word "placenta" daily while explaining how ID babies can have two placentas. Hee, hee. That usually sends people running the opposite direction! I hated getting the "are they identical?" question before we had the DNA test done. Now that we know, it feels like noone asks anymore!

 

QUOTE(HRE @ Apr 14 2009, 04:40 PM) [snapback]1272949[/snapback]
LOL...this is me, too. I think it's great that people take time to stop and talk. I always (well, most always) have plenty of time for little comments, and my kids have always loved the attention as well.


Ditto! I love the attention & always make sure the twins looks their best when we go out. The boys are flirty, so it all works out!

 

I never liked the attention because I hated when people tried to touch them. Now that they are older it is better. Now I get "THEY are twins ?" because of the size difference. you can never win. I have another one on the way so now the "you have your hands full" is less annoying to me because I do feel like I really do have my hands full now......

 

I like it when people just look at the babies and smile at us. It's nice that they make people happy without even trying. But I don't like the idle chit chat that it seems I'm expected to have with random strangers. With three kids under 2, I do have my hands full and I don't need it to be pointed out to me every time I leave the house! And I don't care that people "don't envy me". They would envy me if they knew how wonderful my boys are.

 

I wish I had $1 for every time I head "you have your hands full" comment....

I do like the attention....most of the time when the comments are nice it is my "social intreaction" ...
I just laugh when I have my dd dress in pink and my ds in blue and they still ask which is the boy and which
is the girl...now my ds truyly has a boy look, even if I dress him in pink he would look like a boy,
and my dd is truly girly too.

I like the elderly comments the best.... and when people are polite and open doors....

I do get questions like "how do you do it?? (I just do-)
do you have help? (no, would you like to come help?)
"it is just so much work" (you are right, I'm returning one)- I would love to say that one day! (I"m kidding of course,
I would not have it any other way!) I stll melt when I'm in the snap and go and I talk and I get two smiles at the same time.

now I don't say don't thigs...I just think them

Today I got a pic of my friends triplets...and I told my dh " I just really can't imagine having 3- just ovewhealmed with the thought of it"
and he said "that is exactly what people with one baby feel when they see you with 2"--

 

piccologirl

Honestly there can be identical b/g twins there was a study to prove it but it's like 1 in a 10 million and ususally they die and if they don't the girl is never able to have babies.....I don't remember what the condition was but it is possible

 

So, I have to share this story from yesterday! Twin Celebrity mishap!

I was at Kohls (Great sale on shorts and tee's right now, btw) and was in line to check out. I was chatting with the lady in front of me who is a twin mom about the stroller. I had the tandem so it was perpendicular to the line (I was trying to make sure people could get through the walkway).

Well the other twin mom was next and at the same time, an older lady swooped and and started asking all sort of questins, but she was really nice (boys are just beautiful, they must be ID blah blah). She even called her friend over to look.

The other twin mom was finished so I took a step forward---and the older lady cut in front of me! I couldn't believe it, but I sort of laughed it off, b/c I could see how she might not have known I was in line. She'd be totally dense to not notice, but I could understand. BUT THEN after getting all checked out (Asking the price of EVERY item), and getting the senior discount and everything----she didn't have her wallet!! She had to go back to the dressing room to look for it. At that point the check out girl gave me a little smile and called someone else to check me out. It was so funny.

 

lol well twins can be distracting I guess.....I mean I guess we should just be flattered cause they actually admire us for having 2 babies at once and handling it so well

 

QUOTE(Brown Eyed Gurl @ Apr 15 2009, 08:30 AM) [snapback]1273869[/snapback]
piccologirl

Honestly there can be identical b/g twins there was a study to prove it but it's like 1 in a 10 million and ususally they die and if they don't the girl is never able to have babies.....I don't remember what the condition was but it is possible


http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art1291.asp/zzz

 

Brown Eyed Gurl: I've heard that study, too, but it's so rare and most people don't know about it, that in general it really is silly to ask if B/G twins are identical. (I've read there are only 3 documented cases in the world.)

 

yeah I know but I was just commenting back cause piccologirl said there wasn't any way for b/g to be identical I just was telling her in fact they can be but it's sooooo very rare I just tell ppl they can't be identical since they are b/g too just to shut them up....lol

 

the only thing that ever really annoyed me was when DD would be swathed in pink with pink blankets and a t-shirt that said "Girl" on it people would say "oh you have 2 boys"...

here's the flip side - being a twin mom I know about the comments etc...I was in Wal-Mart when a couple with infant triplets was in front of me - I didn't ask questions or even ask to see the kids (it was obvious they were sleeping) - all I said was "wow you're kids are beautiful" and they huffed past me like I asked to hold one!! So while I understand being "stopped and questioned" there really is no need to be rude!

 

I generally have had good encounters, and I used to go out just to get positive attention on those when I needed to be reminded how "lucky" I am.

But the wierdest thing had to be the people who thought they were dolls. It happened on two separate occasions between 4 and 8 months. Once the girls were sound asleep in the stroller and the person was right there in front of us and asked if they were real babies or dolls. The other a women came up and as she got close she said, "Oh they are real babies, I saw you from back there and thought they were dolls." What kind of crazy women would that make me? 30 something pushing two dolls around in a double jogging stroller???

 

lol yeah I just take my baby dolls with me to the store......lol

and I know I had a blue bow in DD one day in walmart and someone said Oh how sweet twin boys.....I told them no a boy and a girl they went on to tell me oh I didn't know with the blue bow.....HELLO why would I put a bow BLUE PINK OR GREEN on my son lol

 

It's amazing how many people ask if they're identical (B/G)! I say "No, one has a penis and one has a vagina!" LOL You should see the looks when we're out with DH and I with the babies and my four stepdaughters! And my oldest SD has two children herself! :lol:

I've noticed some days I don't mind the attention and other days not so much.

 

I was at Target once when the boys were about 1 mo old. I was alone, and had 1 boy in the carseat carrier on top of the cart, and the other boy in his carseat within the cart. All around the store I was getting the twins comment, when 1 old lady came up to me, looked at the boy on top of the cart and said "What a beautiful baby!" She had absolutely no clue that there was another boy in the cart! I was speechless. I almost said "hey, he's a twin - the other one is beautiful too!!!" but I just laughed to myself and said thank you.

 

I thought it was just me getting all of those 'Aren't you glad you don't have 8?' comments.

 

QUOTE(Rebekah J @ Apr 15 2009, 06:35 PM) [snapback]1274721[/snapback]
I thought it was just me getting all of those 'Aren't you glad you don't have 8?' comments.



I get those ALL The time now... along with "where are your other 6?"

after that lady seems like being a mom of twin is no biggie

 

I haven't found a good response to a lot of these comments from strangers so I usually wear sunglasses and try not to make eye contact.... people want to comment, but they usually don't know what to say. I think I would smack someone if they tried to touch my girls, though !!

 

I actually usually couldn't stand the attention we used to get when the twins were little. I dont get as much these days but I dont take them out as much now either because they get bored quickly and complain. I walked into the mall today and there were people everywhere, I looked over at this girl/woman and she smiled at me. I said to my Mum, I dont think I know her.....and wasw a bit confused. Mum said no, it's the twins. OH!!! I said. It didn't even occur to me.

I was buying Lacey some shoes today and the lady kept saying, they are so cute! and telling me everything cute about them. 'gorgeous blue eyes, lovely blonde hair' It was really wierd having this stranger describe my children to me and actually keep telling me how cute they are - when clearly I know that. LOL

 

QUOTE(Brown Eyed Gurl @ Apr 15 2009, 11:24 PM) [snapback]1274088[/snapback]
yeah I know but I was just commenting back cause piccologirl said there wasn't any way for b/g to be identical I just was telling her in fact they can be but it's sooooo very rare I just tell ppl they can't be identical since they are b/g too just to shut them up....lol

I do that too!! And I add the 'eye rolling' stint to make it more convincing!! :yahoo: