Going back to work...or not?

So, I know I am way jumping the gun on this issue - but wanted to hear from others. I have a 3 year old already, and am 20 weeks along with twin girls.

I am a fourth grade teacher, but decided to teach part-time in a job-share since having my daughter. My schedule is 2 days one week and 3 days the next week. When I am at work, daddy or grandparents take care of my little one.

The twins were a shocker - and now everybody is saying, "well you are going to quit, aren't you?" Honestly, I haven't even thought that far ahead. I don't know what to do - am thinking I might need those two days a week out of the house..but don't know. My husband is encouraging me to follow my heart and do what I need to do. All my family is very supportive.

If I have the twins in early July, I am hoping that my District will let me stay off from work until January (after Winter Break). This would give me 6 months home with my 3 year old and new girls. If I stay working, then I would only go back part-time in January. Since I am a teacher, I have those breaks throughout the year off.

I am just wondering what other moms out there have done. Is it doable to go back to work and balance everything, or am I crazy thinking I can do it? I worry about breastfeeding and putting too much stress on grandparents. However, I am only gone 2 days a week.

Any advice??? Would love to hear success stories...

 

Hi, this is my first pregnancy so I can't really give you the answers you seek, but I wanted to show solidarity. I'm also struggling with these questions. My job doesn't offer paid leave, but I'm hoping that I've saved enough vacation time and money to stay out for 6 months. After that, we're only allowed to be part-time for 6 months after returning from maternity leave. I make a lot more than DH right now so I'm not sure if we can really afford for me to be part-time at all. But after the twins' first birthday he'll hopefully be making substantially more and then I'll have a choice. What to do? I have no idea. I think I'll want a few days back in my career and out of the house. But then factor in the cost of child care and... I don't know!

Also I wanted to say its great that your DH is so supportive. Mine is too, even though I know he's choking back the words "we can't afford it!"

Finally - I think there is a substantial thread about this in the "first year" board. Maybe do a search there and here for this topic.

Good luck!

 

I had a 3.5 yo when my twins were born. I was lucky to find a way to get 5 months off before going back to work full time. I needed those 5 months and could have used another 2 or 3. I won't lie, the first year is pretty hard. Sleep deprivation was much harder than I expected - but we did it! We were able to hire a nanny the first 18 months and I was so glad we did that. My girls were 34 weekers and with all the germs coming into the house via older DD, they were sick constantly. DH and I are still catching up 3 years later.

I know you can do it (job share) - what I don't know is if your childcare can handle it. 1 person with a 3yo and infant twins is not ideal (unless you're the momma ). If you have more than 1 person it shouldn't be too hard. My nanny had a hard time when both were sick or teething and grumpy - I know it was hard because I had them the other 12 hours a day. With a supportive DH and if you can work out the child care and want to work, I say go for it. I personally LOVE what I do and am a better mommy because I work too.

 

Thank you all posters for your insight and support.

I welcome other posters as well, and I did check out the other post about working on the first year thread.

 

I plan to go back to work after I have the twins. I am due with twin boys in April. I also have a daughter who is almost 3. We are going to hire a nanny. I will only be able to take off 12 weeks after they are born. I too am a better mom for working. We also are a 2 income family. My husband has a job he loves but, will never make a ton of money at it. I think it is important to do what is best for you and your family.

 

I went back to work full time when my boys were 13 weeks old. It was the best decision I could have made. I love my boys dearly and am grateful for being with them during those weeks, BUT I was so glad to go back to work. I know from being with my boys all day on the weekends that I am not cut out to be a stay at home, I need the adult interaction. Going back to work helped with my PPD and I am very happy with the childcare provider that we have. My boys love her and that helps ease my mind when I leave them with her every day.

As a pp said, I would be concerned about childcare with a 3 year old and twins. I know that the only person other than our daycare provider who is willing and able to watch my boys without another adult present to help is my mother and even she will only do it for a couple hours. It is a lot harder now that they are so much more active and while my husband was working afternoons I had help every day for 8 weeks with bedtime since it can be so difficult.

Follow your heart, but make sure you have everything in place with childcare. Many people who were over-eager during my pregnancy to offer help with the boys have not come through since they were born.

 

It helps you have supportive people! You can always go back to work, and if it just doesn't work out, then quit and stay home.

People were floored I was going back to work 40+ hrs/wk after having my twins. Unfortunately, I don't have a choice. I would LOVE to be a SAHM. But we financially can't make it on just DH's income, supporting DH and I plus the twins and my three skids. And given the fact that DH was unexpectedly laid off from work a month ago, we're trying to survive on just my income, so good thing I went back after ML!

I'd see how it goes. It is hard working full-time with infant twins, especially when they're still getting up at night. But it is doable.

 

I did not go back to work for 3 reasons. 1. childcare cost 2. twins needed too much personal care/appointments 3. rough recovery

We could not afford childcare for the twins on what I made and make any money. They were also preemies on monitors, meds, and with a lot of appointments and on 'house bound' for the 1st 9 months (could not go to public places) so it would have been hard to return to work (would have to have gotten a nanny) and not overuse my sick/personal days--I was a teacher at the time.

2. Both girls were on monitors for 8 months, many medications, and multiple appointments It would have been very complicated to try to arrange appointments, meds, and trust someone to know CPR, give meds, and handle the monitors at that stage. I worried about bringing home germs from 'school' if I worked since the girls had underdeveloped lungs.

3.My recovery was very hard and I could not walk for 3-4 weeks post C and had to do PT. It took a long time to get my strength back also after 20 + weeks of bedrest.


I would balance what your family needs. I was fortunate that we had DHs insurance so that we could swing it. I almost went Part time last year, but they decided to change a teaching position to full time so I declined, but at that point (2 yrs old twins) it was more doable and would have benefited the family in the long run. I could not have done it the 1st year with all our family had going on and our physical states- even part time, but that is just us!

There is no right or wrong, just what is best for you and your family!

 

QUOTE(Rach1137 @ Mar 17 2009, 10:17 AM) [snapback]1232416[/snapback]
I went back to work full time when my boys were 13 weeks old. It was the best decision I could have made. I love my boys dearly and am grateful for being with them during those weeks, BUT I was so glad to go back to work. I know from being with my boys all day on the weekends that I am not cut out to be a stay at home.


Ditto. I went back to work when my boys were almost 5 months old. I was lucky enough to be able to take off that long. And while I loved the time I spent with them we were all much happier when I went back to work. Twins are really demanding the first year - even when you have wonderful babies. Add in a little colic, reflux, not STTN and it is just a recipie for exhaustion, frustration, and angst. DH and I were incredibly lucky that we had great babies who were STTN very early on (10 weeks), and at least one was super easy going. I can only imagine adding in an older child in that mix who is going to miss having her mommy practically full time to herself.

Working really let me recharge and get out of the thick of things which gave me a lot of perspective. And now I enjoy the weekends tremendously, but somedays I can't wait until Monday morning! I think you have the best of both worlds, you would get to spend lots of time with them when they are little (because it really does fly by), but yet you still get a break every once in a while that I think all moms could really use, but don't always get.

Have you talked to the people who would be responsible for taking care of your babies while you were at work? What do they think about it? I agree with others - I think taking care of infant twins and another sibling is a bit much for one person who doesn't do it 24/7.

If I were you, I would give it a try - go back to work for a while and see how things are going. If you hate it, or it just isn't working out and you have the luxury to stay at home, do it. It's not like you are making an irrovocible decision. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. KWIM?

 

I was put on bed rest at 30 weeks and did not go back to work after the girls arrived. We just did not feel that it was worth me going back - childcare would have eaten my paycheck up! It was not easy - but we have survived and it has been worth it!

 

Hi,
The going back to work issue is a hard one. I have 2 other kids (ages 5 and 2) and I currently work part-time from home. I have a great job that I love and that pays well, so I don't want to give it up, but I'm also nervous about how to make it work once the twins are born. Right now my other 2 attend preschool at our church a few mornings a week and then go to my neighor's house. She has been keeping my kiddos since my first was 4 months old, and she is WONDERFUL! Next year my oldest will be in Kindergarten, so that will help some, and my neighbor is planning to keep my daughter as well as the twins. Luckily I'm able to work part time, so it will only be about 15 -20 hours per week, but I still feel like it's going to be a lot (on my neighbor, who also had 2 kids of her own, and myself). But like I said earlier, I love my job, and we really depend on my income. I'm also worried about whether I'll even be motivated to work when I'll have 2 babies to care for. It's so hard! I think it's one of the hardest decisions to make. I love being a mom, and I enjoy working part-time, but it is definitely hard to find a good balance, and sometimes I feel guilty about working. Good luck in your decision! You'll be a great Mom either way!!

Lisa