Getting your little darling to clean their room

Is it possible for 4 year olds to clean their room on their own? I am not asking for spotless, just pick up thier room without me having to threaten to take away toys or be in the room the whole time they clean? They cant even fill up the buckets of their toys unless I am in the room. Am I being unrealistic? I have tried making games out of cleaning their room and even taken away toys after I have asked them repeatedly to clean it and they just end up playing. I just cant think of any creative ways or anything to get them to clean it. I just get so frustrated having to tell them to clean it over and over again. Anyone found a magic trick that they can share? Thank you Thank you!!

 

It is possible, my 4 year old (+ 8 yr old) does it every couple days. Our "trick" is to not let it get too far gone or else it seems overwhelming. No, it's not spotless, but she'll pick up toys, make her bed and even put some of her clean laundry away. We just say every couple days, tonight we are cleaning rooms after dinner. The two go up there and do it. We try to only let it take 15 minutes and then it's done or we help. There's usually not much fussing.
I think if it becomes a routine, it is easier.

 

My girls are capable but they don't like to do it. If I sit in the room and tell them to put their books on the shelf and then put their dress up stuff where it belongs etc they do really good. If we just tell them to 'clean their room' they put things to the side or try to do the best they can. Usually the middle of the floor will be clean, their pillows will be on their bed, and some of their toys will make it where they actually belong. It isn't perfect but they try. I really have no trick. We have had to threaten to take toys away. Usually I will tell them that if there are any toys left on the floor after they tell me it's clean then I can throw them out. They know the drill it's just a matter of getting them to do it.

 

My guys are 4.5 and have just recently started cleaning their room without it being a huge ordeal.

I rotate the toys so it is not too overwhelming having to clean up all their toys because given the chance, they love to dump everything out so there is not one inch of floor showing.

First off DH started a great thing awhile back. He would go in their room and say "Whatever you do, do not clean your room" and he starts cleaning up really fast and making it look fun. A little reverse psychology works wonders. He did that for a couple of times then he said, "Whatever you do, don't clean up your room in 20 minutes" and he sets a timer.
Then they started to do it all on their own. It was not a fool proof way for us. It helped if they have an audience, also the novelty wears off and we need to go back and repeat the "Whatever you do, do not clean your room" stage every so often.

Also, we started implementing a Green light, Yellow light, Red light System. They each get a jar with their name on it. Then I cut up a bunch of circles and put in another jar. Around holidays, you can use different shapes like hearts, shamrocks, snowflakes etc. When you ask them to do something, if they do it without complaining and right away they get a Green light. If they don't do it and give you a hard time, they get a Red light. Yellow is given for in between responses. When I hand out the lights, I explain why they got the color they did and let them put it in their jar. We also give out lights for things such as learning to write their name and exciting stuff.
We decided to make the Green lights worth a quarter. However a red light cancels out one green light. We cash them out every once in awhile when we have a bunch of coins.
For Christmas they each got a piggy bank. The ones they got locks at 25 cents and opens only on 10 dollar increments. It does not keep a total accurate count, but it is good enough for us. We actually missed it being able to open at the first 10 dollars, so the boys had to wait until they saved $20. It was a long wait but it was worth it. I notice a big difference after they actually got to experience spending their hard earned money.

I didn't hand out the lights for every single thing. I even forgot to hand out any at all for a couple of weeks.

They learned about money, saving money, cleaning without complaining (not all the time), and saving up for something they really wanted. Evan wanted a marble run and he just beamed when he finally went to get it. He got to hand the cashier the money and has really taken care of it. Jude really wanted a light saber and loves Star Wars characters.

We started this system about 7 months ago. To date; each has cleaned their room once on their own without being asked to on separate occasions. I hope they will surprise me again someday soon. A Mother can dare to dream anyway. :laughing:

Very complicated and I was torn with using bribery, but now when I ask them to clean up the living room after they make a mess, it is not a big deal. I don't even hand out lights for cleaning up after themselves. They don't expect them for every little thing like I thought they would. They still get distracted and I have to remind them of the task, but it has greatly improved. :icon_biggrin:

 

Ok, mine seems simple and may not work for you. I get/got them to do it by positive reinforcement. I started with just making it a game and teaching them the names of things and names of the places they go, (I am a total organizing freak, totally like Monica off of "Friends" can't sleep if things aren't in place) when they got it right we would clap and yell "YEH" :clapping: they loved it now the game is a little harder and they get little treats after picking up their stuff. Although if we have had a big day or even a day that wasn't our normal routine then I at least help them, usually I just do it my self on those days as I don't mind once in a while.

Now if I can just get my husband to put his stuff where it belongs!!! :aggressive:

good luck

 

I'm with you that unless I threaten to take the toys away they don't usually clean because they end up playing. I have actually resorted to not letting them have any toys in their room (they have to put them in the basement when done playing with their toys, but they are aloud to play with them in their room). Unless I am in the room with them telling them where to put everything it doesn't usually get done. But now since I make them put everything downstairs they are actually better at keeping their room clean. But for some reason when I ask them to clean the basement up they do a better job at it.

 

Try this site for some tips. I really can't recommend Fly Lady enough and she's just started ideas for kiddos to get in on the act. I have a friend who does it with her 3 kids ages 7, 4, and 3, and she says they LOVE cleaning up now. Who knew? GL.

 

My girls just turned four and have been cleaning up their messes and their room for some time now. However, I am present and I do give them specific tasks to do. If the foreman (me) is not there, the distractions are too strong to keep them on track so here's how I do it. Each girl is given a task like: Jamie you pick up all the crayons and put them in the bucket right there. Nicole you take the stickers and put them in your sticker box. I can usually leave at this point but never more than a couple of minutes. Then I point out exactly what I want each of them to do next. Their rooms don't have a lot of mess because they have the craft room and their toys downstairs. We are pretty organized and they know how to sort and there is a place for everything and they know where things go. They're pretty cooperative and I think this is pretty good for aged 4. It's still pretty time consuming to oversee and assign tasks but it sets them up for being able to do it on their own later and it makes it clear that it's their responsibility to clean up after themselves, not mine.

 

I generally have mine pick up before a meal. It got so that I'd know it was time to make lunch because I'd hear them throwing toys into the bin (after "Between the Lions" ended). Something about knowing food is coming keeps them from getting distracted by play. I also have several different bins for different types of toys, which makes it easier for them.