Getting over the fear of SIDS?

I am so afraid of SIDS. I kept older DS in my room a long time and he ended up sleeping in my bed until he was two. I woke up a lot to check on him and liked just being able to look over and know he was ok. But I can't do this with the babies. They are 12 weeks old and sleep in bouncers beside my bed. They sleep at least 8 hours a night so it would be pretty easy to put them in their own room only I don't like that I can't just look over and know they are ok. And also they spit up a lot and then sometimes just start choking. No spit up comes out they just stop breathing, start hitting stuff with their arms (how I realize it is happening), turn really red and I start hitting them on the back and tipping them down and so on... And they start crying and gasping for air but they still can't really breathe so they just keep trying to cry. And after about 5 to 10 minutes they finaly breathe enough to stop crying. They get really scared. It's so sad they look at me with these big eyes that are screaming help me when it is happening. The doctor said some babies just do this and not to worry. Just keep a nose sucker handy at night. Does this happen to anyone else?? Older DS never did this! It scares me to death when it happens. They seem to be doing it less now.

Any suggestion to help (me) with the transition to their own room greatly appreciated. TIA

(I've seen the angel care moniter and thought about those but are way too expensive for me expecially since I would have to get two)

 

I totally understand your fear. After seeing my boys have dozens of bradychardia spells in the NICU, sometimes so bad they had to be picked up and jostled while they totally listless, I know how hard it can be to trust that they will be okay while sleeping. Coworkers got us 2 Angelcare monitors as gifts, so we are lucky. I recommend searching Craigslist for used ones, even in places far away (just offer to pay shipping). To search for monitors in all CL locations do a google search for Angel Care and add "site:craigslist.org" to search criteria. Good luck!

 

My 4 year old are still sleeping in my room with me for this very reason. No SIDS but I like to check on them and make sure they are OK. I hope I can let them go by the time they start school..lol For Tyler I have an Angel Care Monitor. My mom bought it for me after Ty was born. We found it on Craigslist for $40.00. New in Box and NEVER used. you can find them for cheap you just have to look. Also check EBAY.

I cane help you get over it because on top of have the monitor for Ty I still set an alarm for every few hours just to double check. I could NEVER have another baby and NOT ahve that monitor.

I wish you good luck!

 

I would ask the doc about adding rice cereal to their bottles. We had to do that for my boys and it helped the formula stay down. My boys slept in their infant carriers on my DH's side of the bed from 3-4 months (he was deployed) and I was finally able to put them into their cribs at 5 months before DH came home.

As for the fear of choking, I'm still not over it. It scares me to death. Just this morning one of the boys was having a weird cough and then it stopped. My first thought was "maybe they are choking on something!". I got up to check on them and they were fine. Ryan even said, "hi momma" when I went in. :air_kiss:

 

I understand your fear completely! Mine never had the choking problems, but when they were newborns I'd lie in the twin bed next to their crib and any little gurgle or cough would send me flying out of the bed to check on them. Now if I hear anything on the monitor I'm up to check it out. It took me a while to realize that babies (especially very young ones) lack the neck control to sleep with their face up like an adult would do when on their back and their head usually falls to one side or the other. So I bought sleep wedges that elevated them just a little and that gave me comfort. I stopped using those though once they could wiggle down to the bottom of them.

Do they nap in their cribs? At 12 weeks I'm sure they sleep a fair amount during the day, maybe let them nap in their cribs every time as a slow way to get everyone used to it. This might also help when you are comfortable enough to let them sleep in their beds at night, it won't feel so foreign to them. Good luck and you are not alone in your fear.

 

I never really worried about SIDS, but after an incident that a family member's baby had with reflux and choking, I certainly did worry about that. My kids were all refluxers and I never laid them flat on their backs to sleep. I also added cereal to every one of their bottles. Have you mentioned the reflux concerns to the ped?

 

Thank you all so much. I have looked on craigslist where I and my family live and on ebay (they were going for really close to what they are brand new when I was watching them), but had not thought to ask if people would ship. Oh and thanks for the tip on how to search all places I had never thought of that!! It is so useful. I just went on and e-mailed some people asking if they would ship it to me so hopefully I'll find someone who is.

My ped said that if they aren't in pain they do not have reflux. Or something like that basically all babies spit up (even 2 ounces is normal) and as long as they are gaining weight learn to deal with it. And that I shouldn't add cereal to their bottles because it won't help.
I can see whoever is available (I have military doctors) and I will not be going back to him. I did not like him for my older son and i didn't when he saw the babies twice.

And as for napping in their cribs that would be a great idea and I would but I do home child care on base and the rule is all children under 8 have to be in your line of site and their bedroom is upstairs. I am working on getting them in a playpen for daytime naps though.

Thanks again everyone

 

this is a load of bull... my DS had silent reflux and never exhibited and pain symptoms, was a great eater, never spit up, etc., but would gag and choke at night when he was sleeping. i'm glad you are not going to see that pedi again, he needs to get with the times... i would definitely mention it to another dr and see what they say.

 

Def. go see another doctor! If you have any tricare questions, feel free to PM me. You can always try and fight to see someone off base.

 

I'm calling double crap on that too! My dd also had silent reflux, she wasn't in serious pain but was constantly swallowing and choking, especially at night.

Ask for prevacid to help with the reflux issues.

As for SIDS, all my kids have stayed in my bedroom (in their crib) until about 8-10 months old, the twins are no exception. Once they get close to a year the risk of SIDS nearly drops off completely and I don't worry about transitioning them to their own room.

And for the record, I still have a monitor in my 7 and 3 yr olds bedroom because I can't hear them in my room when they choke. And seems everytime we get a stomach virus, it starts at 2am, without the monitor they would be puking in their bedroom and I would never know!! (My room is across the house from theirs.)