getting nervous about how I will handle

Hi all! I am 31 weeks and already starting to drag a little. I have 2.5 year old twins who are still very, very dependant on me. They are not the "I want to do it by myself" kind of girls. When I ask, don't you want to walk (or crawl) up the stairs like a big girl? I get, "Mommy carry me." And, in many ways, 2.5 year olds should not be expected to do a whole lot on their own, I guess ... but the main thing plagueing me is this ... how in the world am I going to get them up the stairs post C-Section for their naps/bedtime? If they don't want to go, which they never do for naps/bed, they will just NOT go. Lots of times I carry them kicking and screaming. Does anyone know how long you have to wait before you can lift heavy stuff (the girls are 21 and 22 pounds.) My husband will take a week and a half off and my mom and MIL will help, too, I'm sure ... but we have 4 flights of stairs in our house and I know it may be a little neurotic to be worrying about this ... but it is one of the million and one things I am worried about (in addition to WHEN is her darned monogrammed pillowcase going to get here from RH Baby and Child ... really important stuff, eh =)) I think I am majorly nesting (and driving my husband and my kids crazy!)

Anyway, any tricks to handling two still very dependant little ones and a newborn while also trying to heal from surgery will be greatly appreciated!!! Also, like how am I supposed to get them to and from MMO when I am not supposed to drive ... oh my goodness, just thought of that! They are NOT going to want to sit in the house for 6 weeks! How much of those post-op rules do you follow and how much do you just do what you have to do?? I am going to have an anxiety attack, I am afraid!

 

Traci, I had a c/s and my twins were 23 months when the baby came along. How much family help do you have? I had to totally use my sisters, my mom, etc when I was recovering. I couldn't drive for 4 weeks and the twins were still in daycare for that first month. My husband drove them and picked them up for that time. As for when we were at home, my sisters would come over and help or my mom, with the day to day stuff. My husband was home for about two weeks as well. Can you employ a friend or family member to help out with the driving to MMO? And maybe set up something on the first floor (if that's where you will be spending time) for them to take a nap, so you don't have to carry them up and down. If I remember correctly, it was 4-6 weeks of not carrying anything heavy.

Good luck!

 

ooooh... that's tricky. I had my twins (via c/s) when my first was 20 months old. So in her case, she wouldn't have been able to climb in the crib regardless... I think she did climb the stairs most days, and could get up on the couch herself to snuggle with me.

In your case, I think, as hard as it might be I might try laying down the law about the stairs right now. I try very hard not to carry my 2 year old up the stairs because it's exhausting. One thing I used to do with my twins to get them up the stairs without dawdling at naptime was to throw a toy up and have them 'race' to get it. (if they fight over it, then have 2 toys ready!) I'd start by putting it 4 steps or so away, then grabbing it just before they get to it, and chucking it up a few more steps. It usually got them laughing (forgetting about the nap purpose) and got them to go up those steps without poking around.

My dh and I also believe that between ages 2 and 5, a firm swat on the behind will often accomplish far more than time out or reasoning along. Those ages are an unreasonable age category where children do need to understand that their parents are in charge, and for their own benefit, not because you have an inate need to control their little lives. So if firmly telling them (and repeating it a few times) that it is nap time accomplishes nothing except causing them to throw a tantrum, it might be time to try a discipline method. Since time out is practically the same thing as going down for a nap I seriously doubt this will work. A swat on the behind might help them realize that they can either go upstairs for a nap, or go upstairs for a nap along with a spanking... but either way it's naptime. I actually find that between age 2 and 3 usually my kids don't need a whole lot of spanking. It's such a jolt to their little system to be told 'no', and made to firmly understand what the basic rules are (you need to listen to mommy and daddy) that they figure it out quickly. It's later when they realize the 'grey' areas that they like to push the limits to see how far they can go before they get into serious trouble.

Regardless if your two little ones are in a PNP or crib for naptime you will definitely need some help after your c/s. I was lifting my 20 month old into the crib about a week after the c/s, but I'm convinced that it did set me back as far as my bleeding was concerned. And I started back up with more incision pain too.

Anyway, try the 'fun' method first...and then resort to discipline if they pitch a fit and throw themselves on the floor over it. It might not be easy at 31 weeks, but it won't be easier to do after a c/s...and then you'll feel guilty over it because your brain will be telling you 'Oh they are just acting out because of the new sibling...'

 

I know my girls are way older, but they are really getting into the idea of being the big sisters. I think you should try to play that up. You're going to be the big girls now! The big girls help mommy, by walking up the stairs (and other little jobs you can think of). My girls also know I can't carry them anymore because I'm already "carrying" their baby brother.

 

I get very nervous about handling it all too! Two 15 months olds and a newborn - I need a nap sometimes just thinking about it. I am trying not to get ahead of myself or think about too much. I remember a time when the twins were just a few weeks old and I would think about all that there was to do in one day on my own, with DH at work and doing it day after day, week after week I got very nervous and overwhelmed. I try really hard now to just think about what's in front of me and the immediate task at hand. Somehow when I do that, I feel like I get more done then I would otherwise. It's just one day at a time and enjoy the ride!

 

I was restricted from lifting the boys for 2 weeks...I was also restricted from driving for 2 weeks. The restriction on the lifting and driving is not because you can't necessarily do it, but your muscles have been cut open and you are more susceptible to injury plus...your ability to make a hard brake in the car while still fresh from a csection is diminished greatly.

DH had to get the kids into their cribs and drive to and from daycare for those two weeks. It was hard, but I could get on the couch and snuggle with them, and basically had to play up the big brother factor big time. They did great and continue to do well with it.