Getting her out of Daddy's bed- help!

So my 2.3 y.o. hasn't slept through the night in her crib since...let's see...Summer of 2011? That was when I was pregnant with the twinsies and Daddy got night duty with her because I was so tired. So he'd bring her into his bed instead of putting her back to sleep in her crib and we were still doing that up until a few weeks ago. Somehow we got to the point where we are bypassing the crib altogether and she just goes to bed in DH's bed. The other night she did willingly go to sleep in her crib, but woke up around 12-1 am to be brought in to us. We are contemplating if getting her a 'big girl bed' would somehow somewhat painlessly motivate her to stay in bed the whole night. We are both too exhausted and have too much on our plates right now to engage in a long, drawn out, up-for-hours-in-wee-hours type of battle. Thoughts?

 

We have strict bedtime. I know they are not ready for bed but I still make them go to bed. They can play, it usually take them 30-60mins. Other rules are no toy in bedroom, no jumping on bed. My kids sleep with light on. They are afraid of dark. It doesn't matter they are sick or what, they have to sleep in their room. It's ok if they fall asleep on the floor. I usually come check on them and put them back on beds.

Setting rules for toddlers is hard. And breaking a bad habit is even harder. You need to be strong. Also explain to her about it. Just set a new bed routine: bath, story time, cuddling time, then tuck her in, say 99, walk out, close door. No matter what, she is not allowed to be out of her room until time to get up. He will cry,... And it will be tough. But after 1-2 weeks, things will get better.

 

What about her being in dad's bed is troublesome? I say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

The current arrangement at our house is that my husband sleeps in the twins' room with them and I co-bed with Emmett. Sometimes we play musical beds if needed. I have no doubts that my children will eventually sleep all night on their own in their own beds. In the meantime co-sleeping/co-bedding is maximizing all of our sleep. :good:

And yes, before anyone asks, our sex life is still awesome. We're just more creative about time & location.

 

We've never really let the girls sleep in our bed because we didn't want to deal with this very issue. We have occasionally let them in when they have had a nightmare, been sick, etc. but 95% of the time we tell them they have to stay in their own beds. Since your daughters routine is sleeping in your bed I don't think there is any easy way to break her of that unfortunately. Kids get into routines and habits and they are hard to kick just like adults. Especially when kids that small dont understand the reason why. So probably the only easy thing to do would be to let her keep sleeping in your bed, if you don't want to deal with the fight. Otherwise it will probably be tough for a little while no matter whether you use a crib, toddler bed, etc. If it is too stressful right now, I would just let her keep sleeping in the big bed for the time being.

 

Yeah, that's pretty much the answer I was expecting, was just wondering if someone had a magic solution It's really not a huge issue, but we've been in the mood to do something if there was a fairly painless option.

 

I was a single mom with my older DD for the first 9 years of her life so we co-slept a lot! When it became too much, around age 3 or 4, we came to an "arrangement" - she could sleep in my bed on Friday and Saturday but during the week, she slept in her own bed. Your LO might be a little young to understand this yet but something to try later?

 

LOL if my very leaky and tired memory serves me correctly, we got in the whole 'bypass the crib' thing because we started letting her go to sleep in the bed on Friday nights (our Sabbath), then our schedule got crazy and I started doing most bedtimes alone, so it was easier to just tell her to go lay down in the bed and wait for me to finish with the twins than to force her to be in the crib and then deal with her noise, or have her wandering around the house. Oh well. One day we will figure it out.

 

Ok...so this is no magic solution....however, when the twins turned one, my eldest was not quite 2.5. The twins needed to be seperated because we put them in toddler beds on their first birthday and they thought it was play time. So, the boys roomed together and Libby got her own room. Now...Grifyn falls asleep in the blink of an eye, the twins at that time...not so much. So, we let Grifyn fall asleep in our bed and then I would move him to his own bed when it was time for us to go to bed. He would stay there all night long with zero issues.

We moved houses and the boys room together now with no issues nor has he asked to sleep in our bed since. He just knows that their new beds and their new room are special and just for them.

Have you tried getting her a special stuffed animal and tell her that it will keep her safe and sound and also keep her company? It can be a transitioning teddy especially for this time? What about doing a day bed or a toddler bed? Sounds like going to sleep in her own space but its the staying there. I would maybe get creative and take her to build a bear and put a special heart inside that will symbolize her strength and bravery to stay in her bed. Just suggestions.....

 

Hmm, I tried several times to get her attached to some sort of lovey, but it never worked. She does still have her paci that she is VERY attached to. I really like the idea of going to Build A Bear though, maybe I will make a trip out of it. Thanks!

Incidently, when does life get a little more sane??? Watch out, I might choose you as my new guru, since your kids are a little older than mine!

 

Every age poses new challenges and I promise it gets so much easier! Once you have a real routine established, things will run like clock work.

Eversince Grifyn started school (he is now 4 and goes all day everyday to JK) things have been so wonderful!!! The twins go do day care for 3 hours, 2 days a week and my evenings run like a well oiled machine!!! My partner and I don't work the same schedule nor are our weekends the same. So...we are two ships sailing and we NEVER cross paths. Its quite sad....BUT....the kids and I have things running so smoothly!

Sure, we still have our struggles and the kids know how to push my buttons...but I do pick my battles and I also stick to my guns. However...things get better!! They always do!

 

Couldnt agree more. Strict daily rountine and being strong are the keys to a less stressful and life.