Fussy Time Tips??? And when (if ever) did you separate them overnight?

Hi ladies,

Okay, apparently they are going through this "fussy" thing now where they are up at night from around 6 pm until sometimes midnight or later, just awake, fussy, nursing a lot, they'll fall asleep on our chests but the second you try to put them in the crib WHAAAAHHHHH!!!! The doc said this is just a fussy stage and they grow out of it by about 3 months. 3 months??!!?? It is so hard to deal with!!! How did/do you handle this??? We have a swing and a bouncy vibrating seat, sometimes they like it and sometimes they just sit in it and cry. I nurse a lot during this time too, like 4-5 times, when they cry and try to latch onto anything they can, and they feed like madmen - is this some kind of a spurt too???

Also, my mom really wants to take one of them overnight at around 6 weeks old so that I can get a better night's sleep. She is really gung-ho on the idea and even had my father ask the doctor if it was OK to separate them at that time, if it would mess with their "bonding" or anything. The doc said it was up to me. For one, I'm breastfeeding and have them on a schedule where when one wakes up to feed, I wake the other up as well (although often they are up on their own anyways) so they stay on the same schedule. I don't pump that much yet and don't want to send over formula just so they can stay over at Grandmas. I also don't really see the point of sending one over since the other one would wake up anyways at all the same times, and finally, I just plain don't want to separate them, especially this little. She doesn't understand why I don't want to separate them, she thinks it would be "good" for them - I don't understand how??? They are so little!!!

So how old were your babies when you allowed them to be away or baby-sat overnight, and how old were they if (ever) you separated them for an extended period of time???

Thanks for any input!!!

 

Hi ladies,

Okay, apparently they are going through this "fussy" thing now where they are up at night from around 6 pm until sometimes midnight or later, just awake, fussy, nursing a lot, they'll fall asleep on our chests but the second you try to put them in the crib WHAAAAHHHHH!!!! The doc said this is just a fussy stage and they grow out of it by about 3 months. 3 months??!!?? It is so hard to deal with!!! How did/do you handle this??? We have a swing and a bouncy vibrating seat, sometimes they like it and sometimes they just sit in it and cry. I nurse a lot during this time too, like 4-5 times, when they cry and try to latch onto anything they can, and they feed like madmen - is this some kind of a spurt too???

Also, my mom really wants to take one of them overnight at around 6 weeks old so that I can get a better night's sleep. She is really gung-ho on the idea and even had my father ask the doctor if it was OK to separate them at that time, if it would mess with their "bonding" or anything. The doc said it was up to me. For one, I'm breastfeeding and have them on a schedule where when one wakes up to feed, I wake the other up as well (although often they are up on their own anyways) so they stay on the same schedule. I don't pump that much yet and don't want to send over formula just so they can stay over at Grandmas. I also don't really see the point of sending one over since the other one would wake up anyways at all the same times, and finally, I just plain don't want to separate them, especially this little. She doesn't understand why I don't want to separate them, she thinks it would be "good" for them - I don't understand how??? They are so little!!!

So how old were your babies when you allowed them to be away or baby-sat overnight, and how old were they if (ever) you separated them for an extended period of time???

Thanks for any input!!!

 

Fussy time...it's hard, and he's right, it lasts til about 3 months. Sounds like you are doing all of the right things. Swaddling and white noise are two things that you didn't mention, maybe try that??

Separation...my twins have never been separated and they are 7 months old. I just don't feel right doing it, if you know what I mean??

Spending the night...I am one of those mom's who has a hard time letting their kids go...I have a 2.5y/o that just had his first overnight trip a couple of weeks ago!! I missed him terribly!

Bottom line is...YOU need to do what YOU feel comfortable with! Good luck with your decision!

 

I hear you about the fussy time! Mine starts about 4 pm and lasts a few hours...But, it IS starting to get better already. So, I have no advice, just compassion. You are not alone.

As far as separating them, unlike the PP, I separate them during naptime now because they wake each other up when the one cries. It has been much better since they have been apart during naps. They are together the entire rest of the day when they are awake.

HTH,

jen

 

Those first few months are a blur to me , but I can comment on the separation thing. My boys are total opposites in nearly every way, especially sleeping. About 2 weeks ago, I separated them at night, and they're both sleeping better. In about a week after the guest bedroom is painted, they'll be completely separated so that I can transition all naps/nights to the crib. It just seems to work better for us this way.

 

I wouldn't separate them if they're sleeping/feeding on the same schedule at night - what if one of them changes his schedule? You'd be up twice as much, which doesn't seem worth it for one half-decent night's sleep...

My guys sleep in the same crib & nap in the same room (they usually nap in bouncy chairs) - I'm going to encourage this as long as I can.

We have a 3-year-old dd who's NEVER spent the night away from home. We don't have family nearby so that's part of the reason, but I can't imagine sending a breastfed infant away for a night - it would be so weird to be away from my baby!

 

growth spurts go every 2 weeks until 12 weeks or 3 months.
I never separated them at night. although I did sleep with them tandem nursing on me and sleeping on me in the recliner alot the first 3 months.

Try nursing every 3 hrs during the day. wake them if you have to. Feed them, keep them awake for no more than 90 min, then put them in their crib for a nap. PUt them down drowsy but not asleep. put them down still awake. Nap shouldn't last more than 2 hrs. if you can get them regulated on this, most likely their night time fussies will go away unless there's some other issue like reflux but if they had that I think they'd be fussy all the time. I demand fed for the first 8 wks and I think I would have avoided alot of issues if I had kept them on a better schedule during the day. If you are starting your day at 6 am, then try to set a goal for establishing a bedtime routine that starts at 6pm.

if swaddling isnt working, try bigger swaddling blankets. or swaddle with their arms out (it worked for us... maybe that's a quasi-swaddle?).

If you are nursing and your mom wants to help you out, then her taking one overnight isn't going to help IMHO. She should take both or none. she should come and cook, do laundry, put food in the freezer, etc and play with the babies after they eat during the day so you can nap during the day. Let her baby sit while you get a pedicure or facial. Let her get up with you at night and help with the diaper changes etc. At 6 wks things get so much better than they are for you right now...

I never left my babies over night until I was done nursing at 16.5 months. I did leave them for 2-3 hr periods but I never missed a nursing session. When I began weaning and they were mostly but not completely weaned, I did a day trip (6am-10pm).

God bless you and your little ones. Hope things go well for you. PT anytime you need.

 

Ours are usually bad between 5-8 pm, sometimes one sleeps and then the other is fussy or the other way around. Tonight, it was time to feed at 7 pm, so we decided to put them straight down. So we had a quiet dinner!!!

My doc says that fussiness peaks at around 6 weeks of age, or 6 weeks after the due date in case of premature babies. So the end for us is in sight!!! We don't seperate them. They go to bed at the same time and once they're sleeping they have their own schedule.

With my oldest I remember that with 3-4 months life became a lot easier.